If your toddler were Prime Minister...

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

You may have already had a 'why-is-there-a-live-stream-from-a-nursery-on-telly-OH-NO-WAIT-IT'S-PMQs' moment. It got us wondering - how might the national landscape differ if your toddlers did actually hold the keys to number 10?

Ban on broccoli? Compulsory puddle-jumping? Confectionary industry nationalised? What's the first Act of Parliament your toddler (or ex-toddler) would pass if they were actually allowed to swap wet wipes for Westminster?

[acjfluff]

Only blue lorries would be allowed.

Sausages would be served with every meal.

All financial transactions would be completed using crayons and random pieces of Lego.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Straps on buggies, car seats, in fact anywhere, would be utterly banned.

[MyFriendsCallMeOh]

Not a toddler but my 6yo would deal with international relations by yelling at other countries. I fact she wouldn't need a telephone or meeting, they can probably hear her already.

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

Mine would require 24 hour access to a toilet. Not to pee in but to throw things in.
Bedtime would be banned, anyone trying to impose sleep would be banished.

[violetwellies]

Everyone would have to tell each other how much they loved each other, to the moon and back being the expected standard. (I'm loving that)

[HippyPottyMouth]

Nappy changing would be prohibited, punishable by bashing in the face with a crocodile.

[OinkBalloon]

All kisses must be incredibly slobbery, and accompanied by broccoli (pre-chewed).

[OinkBalloon]

Privacy would be criminalised, and ASBOs would be considered a reward.

[IckyPlush]

Lunch hours would be extended to lunch-three-hours to allow for multiple changes of menu. And all parks would need under floor heating to make them warm to use in winter. Parents trying to insist on coat wearing would be subject to severe penalties and hard labour. Definitely agree into funding pet dinosaur research too

[ipswichwitch]

My 3yo would make pirate costume wearing compulsory.

15mo would be out for world domination. He would have other world leaders quaking in their boots with his talent in head butting, diving on top of them and shrieking so loud he sets off car alarms. They'll give him anything he wants just to placate him!

[nothanksbyenow]

An outright ban on all loud noises. Except for when she's talking, natch.

[Awakeagain]

If ds1 (2 1/2) was pm you would be able to sit on/in any tractor you want

[Swex]

Dc2 would ban hand dryers as they are far too frightening. He would rule the country with a firm pointy finger from the safety of mummy's hip.

Dc1 would be awesome - he can argue that the world is flat and the sky is red if he wants. And would Institute a strict policy of daily angry birds transformers.

[Quietattheback]

Compulsory horsey rides will be mandated by anybody who gets on their hands and knees for any reason.

Environmental policy will include once yearly hair washing and universal pumping guidelines (must be repetitive and loud and everyone must search for said pump afterwards).

Sleeping on your own will be outlawed and punishable by 5 yrs of a small child with a very wet nappy sleeping on your head See?! Should've just let me sleep in your bed in the first place.

[Catsahoy]

First on the manifesto would be 'I vow to run away. AWAY! If I get out of that front door open I will just toddle and toddle and toddle. All the way up our street, across the road, through the woodland area, onto the next street and on and on and on.' (Seriously DS, you're only 15mo, the world is your oyster but do you need to see it all in the 20 minutes before tea?!?!?)

Next on the agenda would be a dirty bum and nose policy (ie no nappy changing or nose blowing)

Crucially - if I were PM I would surgically attach myself to my mother so that she can't take a step away from me in the kitchen to wash dishes or (how bloody rude) make a cup of tea. Of course this "Velcro" would be removed immediately should the front door open, then I'll be off.......

[bayrans]

I think my toddler daughter would prefer the speaker of the house gig.... 'order, order' would be replaced by ear splitting 'oh no's!'

[Flingingmelon]

DS would be wonderful for the NHS, given that none of us would ever be permitted to take our bike helmets off

[polarbearshuffle]

Nothing would get decided as "why?" would be the respond to every question or suggestion.

And a giant slide would be installed into 10 Downing Street for ds to slide down over and over

[LiDLrichardsPistachioSack]

PM LittleLiDL (19mo)

All workers earning under 12,300 will be exempt fr...oh wait BOOBIE.

We promise NHS waiting times...BOOBIE

Let's increase the minimum wage to BOOBBIIIIEEEE

[DeathMetalMum]

Every meal would be cake, everyone would have to wear wellies all the time. Toddler is very precise so everything would be just right. Pm would spend most of the day running around shouting 'can't catch me ner ner ner'.

[StickledPink]

It would be passed as a law that everybody had to play Trains. All. The .Time. Not just any trains, only Thomas the tank ones would be acceptable.

Everybody would have to wear blue and also trainers " that make you run realllly fast!". There would be no other clothing allowed. Ever.

[wherethewildthingis]

All tractors (and motor bikes) would be legally bound to stop on demand, allowing anyone who asked for an immediate ride, of any length requested.
90% of the country's fields would be turned over to the production of raisins.

[goingwildforcrayons]

1. All waiting would be abolished. There would be no waiting lists for Drs, Hospitals, Schools etc as he just cannot wait for anything.
   

1. Trains would be free and would take you to Thomas Land whenever you wanted to go. Trains would also be on time (see above).
   

1. He would not require a Deputy because he can do everything on his own (he's 3).
   

1. Jaffa cakes would be on demand.
   

1. All hotels would be required by law to have CBeebies. Oh the horror of the one that didn't, all it had was a swimming pool

[SpaghettiMeatballs]

My 3 year old wouldn't be PM. She'd be the health minister. She would solve the NHS funding issues instantly because the cure for all ailments is imaginary cream rubbed on feet after she removes the patient's socks.

[Millie3030]

Food must be instantly ready once thought of.
There must be a plentiful supply of cheerios and raisins.
Everyone must carry a small metal car or tractor.
A 3pm singalong to row row row your boat.