If your toddler were Prime Minister...

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

You may have already had a 'why-is-there-a-live-stream-from-a-nursery-on-telly-OH-NO-WAIT-IT'S-PMQs' moment. It got us wondering - how might the national landscape differ if your toddlers did actually hold the keys to number 10?

Ban on broccoli? Compulsory puddle-jumping? Confectionary industry nationalised? What's the first Act of Parliament your toddler (or ex-toddler) would pass if they were actually allowed to swap wet wipes for Westminster?

[ineedsomeinspiration]

I was explaining the election ds 3.5 and asked to come up with some rules for if he was in charge. Hus answers wre, everyone must tidy up, everyone must eat thier dinner and everyone must eat ice cream.

[Icimoi]

DC2 would have banned beards. Whiskers men are Scary.

[nailslikeknives]

1. No obvious veg.
2. Bed bouncing Olympics.
3. No obvious salad.
4. All dogs must permit themselves to be stroked.
5. No cress in egg sammemwidges.

[BastardGoDarkly]

Anyone attempting to put your pants on, or wipe your face will be locked in the shed.

The letter f is fine as the letter s in any word. same goes for k being pronounced t.

Wellies can be worn on either foot.

The dog gets a bit of anything you eat.

[WutheringFrights]

Everything (from single banana to a trolley full of shopping) will cost £2 please.
All journeys (whether it's to nursery or to Australia) will take 2wowers and we should have time for a little nap on the way.
All newborns (girl, boy, amimal) will be called Elsa.
Only chuldruns can have birthdays not growed ups and if growed ups do have to have birthday they will not be allowed an Elsa bouncy castle.
No one will ever be allowed to overtake us which is shame for the rest of you as I drive a 40 year old vw camper.

[MrsWembley]

Every meal would involve pasta, even breakfast. Unless there were chips on offer, in which case... but no, pasta... or chips... or pasta...

Or pasta and chips, but always, always with ketchup.

And broccoli.

And Batman would be his deputy, apart from the days when DS is Batman.

And Flop would be in charge of being nice.

And if anyone got told not to do something, it would be against the law to not immediately do it. Even if it was going to hurt. And getting told off afterwards would be illegal too. Especially if it hurt.

[Hollywallydooodle36]

My son would put forward the movement that mud should be a part of the 5 a day !!

[killthewiseone]

You'd be unable to do anything without breaking the law, which would constantly change from 1s to the next.

[Purpleflamingos]

Chocolate would be a food group.
So would biscuits.
And crisps.
All restaurants would have a play area.
Every child would receive a den building kit.
Sports, bikes and play equipment would subsidised by the government.
The school day would be shorter but after school clubs longer.
Boys can wear nail polish and not be laughed at.

[DarylDixonsDarlin]

She would ban fish counters from supermarkets, as the fish were sad that they were "not working" dead apparently!

[missorinoco]

Coco Pops would be the national dish.

PMQs would also be more direct. "X, you are annoying me, stop saying that. "
And
"Don't interrupt. I am kwoncentrating."

[chickenfuckingpox]

mine would smash everything and everyone he would bite if you dont pay attention to him and insist on eating pasta more pasta and bacon

the army would have fun with him he loves a good fight!

frozen songs would replace the national anthem

positive praise is a must (everything i do gets a well done mummy!)

drinks on demand and biscuits must be carried at all times especially fig rolls

top gear would be back on our screens in no time and abney and teal (he has weird tastes)

sleeping alone is outlawed

steam engines only all others are not right

milk is the drink of the devil and would never be allowed

he is two

[Allalonenow]

I'm ordering my tiara and ermine now!

[ICantDecideOnAUsername]

For the additional cost of a matchbox car LadyAllAloneNow Ds can totally be bought

[Allalonenow]

ICant I love it, do you think I might get a peerage included in that!?

[ICantDecideOnAUsername]

Thanks for the vote allalone. Ds has never had fruit juice with bits in but considering his strength of feeling about other food with bits I think we can take it as a given. Law banning bits hereby amended to include juice.
Don't forget, in line with one of the other policies, your donation must be £50!

[Anaffaquine]

All forms of storage would be banned. Everything must be on the floor at all times.
Everyone would wear a princess dress and tiara.
The national anthem would be Let It Go.
I would have to accompany her at all times as chief bum wiper after a poo.
Twirly pasta would be eaten with every meal, including breakfast.
Glitter pens would be used to sign all official documents.
We would no longer be a democracy. It would be a dictatorship!

[InterOuta]

Everyone must be awake at 6am
Everyone must consume food three times a night
All children must receive their own iPad and have free reign over it
Houses must be built in parks

[Pointlessfan]

Bananas would be available on prescription, to be consumed at least 3 times a day.
She would build a new, iconic sky scraper in the capital made out of stacky cups.
Nobody would be allowed to wear socks on their feet but carrying one in each hand and then placing them on cats would be quite appropriate.

[LilQueenie]

toysrus open 24/7. chocolate on tap. Night garden live would be available everyday. No one would be allowed to walk in the same direction as her! (seems only she can walk on the pavement cause its hers)

I'd hope all our DC's were too good to be the PM though. Cant trust a politican.

[RedCheckedTablecloth]

Dinner would be chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate and we would all wear fairy dresses and have a pet polar bear.

Watch and learn Dave Cameron. She is onto a winner.

[Allalonenow]

Well, they've got my vote ICant, I already do the waving at children thing, like milk and just love spag bol.
If they would see their way to extending the rules about bits to fruit juice too, I'll donate to their party funds

[ICantDecideOnAUsername]

It would be law for all train, truck and bin lorry drivers to wave to children. And bin day would be everyday, not once a week.

Free milk for everyone. The national dish would be spaghetti bolognaise.

Presents and Easter eggs would just be for children and would be a daily event.

Everything, especially ice cream and cakes, would cost £50.

It would be illegal for yoghurt and ice cream to have bits in.