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MNHQ

What would you say to your 15 year old self?

379 replies

CatherineHMumsnet · 25/02/2015 16:50

Mumsnet's 15th birthday is fast approaching (what'll we WEAR?). And that put those of us at MNHQ to thinking - if, by the magic of some time travelling device, we could speak to our 15-year-old selves - what words of wisdom would we impart?

OP posts:
FaithLoveandHope · 06/03/2015 20:32

You deserve so much better than him. It's okay to say no and it's not okay for someone to disrespect that and do things to you anyway. It's not your fault but it's also not your dad's fault so stop taking it out on him. Regardless of how bad things seem, they will work out in the end. Also in the coming years stop doubting yourself and your ability to do your work because in 8 years time you'll find yourself on a phd you never believed you'd end up on, because you are good enough and you are capable.

lowiep84 · 06/03/2015 21:06

I'd tell myself to live life to the full and stop putting myself down. Spend time with family and friends and tell them how much they mean to me. Stop worrying what people think of me

BuggersMuddle · 06/03/2015 22:07

Stop being down on yourself because the boys aren't interested - in your school, it's not cool to fancy smart girls or ginger ones, so give it up until you get to uni. A bunch will contact you in their mid 20s to announce that they always thought you were Amazing.

Being right is great. Unfortunately other people won't always follow your logic. Use persuasion rather than a mallet. People don't tend to respond to 'that's irrational' very well.

It's okay to be you. You can pick things up and be good at them without being obsessive. That's fine, as long as you apply yourself to 2nd year at uni.

poorbuthappy · 06/03/2015 22:31

When you are 23 and are 2 months out of a 5 year relationship you will meet someone who will sweep you off your feet.
Ignore him, move back to your parents and find the man you will marry 6 years in the future.
Make damn sure you find him cos he is your soulmate...not that arsehole you wasted 3 years with.

Basilbrushestail · 06/03/2015 22:57

Ignore those that say you're ugly.

20 years later you'll look younger and better than them. You'll grow into your looks.

Work out that a career in an a caring role is what you should be aiming for not a boring office job.

And what I'd tell nearly 15 yo dd, you really don't know anything, take time and figure out who you are.

littlebillie · 06/03/2015 23:00

It's going to be great and how strong you will become will surprise you

littlebillie · 06/03/2015 23:03

And buy Google and Apple shares

Cataline · 06/03/2015 23:29

Step away from the skanky boy and get back to school you silly girl!

toffeeboffin · 07/03/2015 01:01

Use your brains to get the education that you merit, not the halfhearted version you ended up with.

Sciences not arts.

Stop chasing idiotic men.

Calm down.

Be nicer to your parents.

Realise your potential.

Be you, don't try to be someone else.

Appreciate your standard of living and all the opportunities given to you on a plate.

Binkleflip · 07/03/2015 02:11

Leave, you don't have to put up with that. There are other people who will do a much better job of giving you a home if you'd only ask them. Oh and study hard, just because the work is easy now doesn't mean it won't get harder.

PS Refusing the oxbridge route is not rebelling it's just burning a bridge.

bouncingbelle · 07/03/2015 02:24

See when you find out you are pregnant, and you are scared, and sick, and alone and think you can't cope and that getting a career is more important and your family all hate you anyway but now they,ll really hate you for mucking up so badly - having that termination was not the answer.

Your career never really goes anywhere, you reconcile with your family - and probably even sooner if you,d had a baby in tow - and you never ever get that chance again. That chance was the ultimate gift that you threw away and whilst it would have been hard, nothing is harder than living with infertility, knowing it could have all been so different.

HappydaysArehere · 07/03/2015 03:19

I wouldn't say anything. As a fifteen year old I was nieve, trusting and innocent. It took years to become a cynical old cow. I prefer the fifteen year old and wouldn't deprive her of that blissful time when everyone was as they seemed.

ScorpioMermaid · 07/03/2015 03:30

next year you will meet a guy. he adores you and will always be the one constant in your life that you can rely on. Don't bow to pressure to end it with him from your family and don't let them force you into having an abortion. you know that you're making the right decision with him so stick to your guns. You will lose family over it but ride it out. It will be worth it. Don't wait 10 years to marry him either So your mum can be there, she causes no end of problems at the wedding and you don't speak to her again for a year. marry him at 18 like you were going to. and don't ever listen to what people say about you either, you're worth so much more and you know it.

EmMcK · 07/03/2015 06:31

Your brother is right, Bruce Springsteen is a good musician and will be around a bit longer than Aha and ABC.
Be kind to your mother, you have lost your father but she has lost her husband. She deserves some kindness.
Look at your two closest friends. They will still be making you laugh so hard it hurts in 25 years. And none of you will be smoking, it was never cool.

AskBasil · 07/03/2015 08:13

Oh Bouncingbelle Sad Flowers

AMillionNameChangesLater · 07/03/2015 08:28

Child abuse hasn't meant you won't enjoy sex
Avoid, avoid, avoid that boy, but certainly don't avoid the nice boy who your parents love!
Figure out what you want to do
You have a fantastic body, stop worrying about being fat
Don't be in a rush to grow up

popalot · 07/03/2015 08:43

I would say.....you are beautiful, you are becoming a lovely young woman. If someone does something to cause you pain, it is their fault and you are not overemotional. Stay away from these people - don't persevere with them, they won't change. Only date people who are kind and gentle. The minute they hurt you, finish it. Use your head and think ahead - make well informed decisions. Follow your heart only when it makes you happy and others around you. Build up your life, bit by bit. It won't all happen at once - enjoy small accomplishments. Watch your money grow as you save it up, ready to use when you want to improve your life. Don't drink too much. Enjoy your youth.

TheHappinessTrap · 07/03/2015 08:47

Freeze your eggs.
Stop smoking.
Otherwise, you're doing v well with a difficult situation. You're about to be very brave, you will look back and admire what you were able to do with so little.

popalot · 07/03/2015 08:48

bouncingbelle you have brought a tear to my eye

BikeRunSki · 07/03/2015 09:04

In about 8 years time - go to HK with him, otherwise you'll still be thinkining about it 20 years later.

sweetlips113 · 07/03/2015 09:28

concentrate at school you need good grades but keep your head high you doing a really good job looking after mum Smile

SuddenRealisation · 07/03/2015 09:44

Follow your instincts.. If you don't want to kiss a boy, don't.

You will be free of your toxic parents one day.

Just be you.

partialderivative · 07/03/2015 12:36

Never mind, they'll probably serve you in The Falcon, it's only a couple of mins walk

NoRoomForALittleOne · 07/03/2015 16:14

Stop trying so hard to win approval from Dad. He'll never say "well done" so give up trying now and realise that you are doing fab anyway. And when he insists that it would be a waste for you to go and study midwifery, he is wrong. Do it anyway and study away from home.

But you may want to return to your home city when you qualify as there's a pretty awesome guy there who will love you as you are and thinks that you're amazing.

catherinemm · 07/03/2015 19:55

Stick with learning languages - do French GCSE as well German and do them both for A level if possible. Yes, They are difficult but you are quite good at them and (re)learning languages as an adult is much harder. (This more for 18 year old self) But also stick with art too and sod what your mother says and go to art collage as its where your passion lies