What would you say to your 15 year old self?

[CatherineHMumsnet]

Mumsnet's 15th birthday is fast approaching (what'll we WEAR?). And that put those of us at MNHQ to thinking - if, by the magic of some time travelling device, we could speak to our 15-year-old selves - what words of wisdom would we impart?

Plough your own furrow - don't worry what other people say, especially those girls. Stay away from that guy you'll meet at 17, and if you can't, then don't listen to him, you are not fat, and you are not stupid, he just wants to control you. You might not believe it now, but when you settle down (and there will be wilderness years, sorry) it will be with someone who's the opposite of "your type", but who's so good and so kind you won't be able to believe your luck. Oh, and stay away from stupid shoes. You will ruin your feet.

Leave school at 16 and get away from your parents. Forget the degree stuff/oxbridge nonsense.

Work from the bottom up and do the herbalism /writing/journalist/gardening stuff that was really in your heart.

Never feel that you aren't good enough.
Work harder at 17 and 18 - drop that peach schnapps bottle and study!
Try to understand that people are all different and no one is worth more than anyone else.
Status isn't everything.
Get some more exercise.

Your mum is mental not you! When you leave home in 3 years, go NC, find your father and never, ever look back. Above all keep that appointment with that counsellor, don't wait until you are almost 40 to sort your head out.

I'd say, hey my love, don't worry so much about your user interface: it's back-end functionality that counts. And also, popularity isn't everything, so be yourself, rather than the thing you think you need to be to get users to hit on you.

(And then I'd say: Don't invite Boris Johnson to your birthday party! fifteen is too old for a party clown.)

I would say stop worrying about stuff so much and try not to be so self-conscious. Study harder and get to university. It was free back then as well! If I had done that I would have (probably) made friends with people I would have had more in common with, been financially better off, and in general had a much nicer life.

Don't get attached to the first boy to ask you out, go to uni free and single, and there'll be blokes falling over themselves to go out with you if you actually believe it enough to see it.

And don't listen to the haters at school, you'll never have to see them again in 3 years.

Be more confident
Stick up for yourself
Stop hanging round with the mean popular girls, instead hang round with the quiter nicer girls.

Don't get involved with HIM. It will lead to 14 years of misery.

Take the courses YOU want to at college, not the ones other people want you to. You'll become disillusioned & it will make dropping out to get a job an easier decision to make.

Don't worry - everything will be great once you get to university. Just be patient.

Keep working hard. It will take you where you want to go.
Do not wear short skirts - your legs are too short and your knees are chubby. Other styles suit you much better.

Get your teeth straightened now, not when you are in your 40s.
It's fine to be single.
You don't actually have to conform to what your parents want / expect.

Do not go into midwifery.

You'll be okay, and so will your friends.

Yep. Your Father does talk a lot of bollocks to you in the next 2 years trying to dissuade you from following your dreams. He will admit he was wrong, eventually.

But, do it because you truly believe in yourself, not because you have a point to prove, because you make it harder for yourself in the long run.

And go to the other University.

I'd say get fit and work hard at hand to eye skills (very dyspraxic.)

I'd also say, don't copy the way your dad behaves just because you don't want to end up a doormat like your mum. No need to be so aggressive and chippy. Relax. Be nice.

And I'd also say - you are about to have the most amazing exciting life. You will have the career you want and meet the man and get the house and kids - you are a very lucky person, you get far more than most despite your rough start, so be gracious and thankful starting now. (I was a horrible bolshy, self-centred brat.)

Nobody notices the hairs on your arms, feel free to wear short sleeves. You don't look ugly so it's fine to wear your hair back. Your tiny boobs mean you can wear fabulous clothes - so go for it!

You are not fat. You are not ugly. Stop chasing after the most popular boys in school and beating yourself up because they don't fancy you. Find some nice quiet boys and talk to them. And don't start giving your body to men in an effort to make them like you. It doesn't work.

Improve your attitude at school.
Don't throw yourself at boys.
Be nice to your sister.
Appreciate your mum.
Eat fewer mars bars.
Don't buy those god awful jeans

Stop plucking your bloody eyebrows-they aren't growing back.
You will have sex, but not for a while. Don't settle for the first one.
Work harder at school.(but if you don't, it won't ruin your life)
Find someone to take you to the mucky duck to see that band-you want to be able to tell your kids you saw the Sex Pistols.

Don't listen to your mum insisting you get married so young. Live with him instead for 6 months and realise he is an immature pretentious idiot without having to go through months and months of trying to make it work and then a divorce. Go to University while it is still free and save yourself years of hard part-time study while you work. Enjoy it and maybe think about a PhD -before you have too many life commitments. When the time is right you will meet the right guy and have lovely children, it doesn't have to be a choice between education/career or a family life. And tell the girls who are making your life a misery at school that you don't care- in 10 years they will be completely irrelevant, you will not be wearing NHS glasses anymore and your skin will be fine. Also your parents will keep rowing for another 15 years and get divorced- but you already know this is likely, just not the timescale. Tell them to hurry up and stop making each other and everyone else so unhappy. Finally matching turquoise socks and jumper is not a good look....

Take more risks with your career.
Don't get stuck as an underpaid public sector worker. Think about all those posh kids you met at University and how arrogant they were. You could have been like that too.
Look at them and their fulfilling, creative careers. And look at you scraping by.
Be more selfish.

Tell people about the bullying at school - tell mum and dad, tell the teachers - make a fuss until something is done and the bullies are punished. They are in the wrong, not you. The adults around you should be supporting you through this.

Tell everyone how sad and worthless and invisible you feel.

It isn't right for someone of your age to be thinking about slitting their wrists or taking an overdose - you are depressed. If this is recognised now, and you get help, it could transform your life - you might not end up with a lifetime of depression that has blighted your life.

Whilst your O-levels will be a walk in the park that you coast through, A levels are way harder. Do the work instead of partying.

Go to college to do something to do with horticulture/catering. You don't have to do something academic to please dad.