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MNHQ

What would you say to your 15 year old self?

379 replies

CatherineHMumsnet · 25/02/2015 16:50

Mumsnet's 15th birthday is fast approaching (what'll we WEAR?). And that put those of us at MNHQ to thinking - if, by the magic of some time travelling device, we could speak to our 15-year-old selves - what words of wisdom would we impart?

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 01/03/2015 21:51

He doesn't even like you, he is a pervert - he abused you when you were 12. Do not get sucked in by the bastard again he will rob your childhood.

mickeyfartpants · 01/03/2015 22:26

Move out of your mothers house as soon as you start earning real money.
Never go back.
I'm serious, get a flat share, see the world, get the hell out of there and do NOT internalise all the things you have been told that you 'are'. Because you are none of those things.

thelittleredhen · 02/03/2015 01:24

I'd want to tell my 15 year old self that yes, you're right, you are a daddy's girl - find him and tell him before it's too late. You'll never be close to your mum. Please, please do your coursework!

GettingFiggyWithIt · 02/03/2015 02:18
  1. Don't give up your male mates for your bf
  2. In fact don't pick that bf, ask the one that got away, there was a window there woman!
  3. Work at your physics and biology, stop coasting
  4. Wear a bra and a supportive sleep bra, wash them by hand
  5. You will be out of there in three years, that's no time, so ignore the crap at home
  6. Don't put up with the bullying cah at school, tell staff or call her on her threats and fight back
  7. Ditch the bleach blonde, the orange foundation, the blue eyeshadow and the shoulder pads
  8. If you insist on choosing the wrong bf, don't feel pressurised to do anything too soon
  9. Don't go out with your gf, she is setting you up for a blind date from hell
10. If he's prepared to cheat with you, he will end up cheating on you
meddie · 02/03/2015 09:47

Please stop smoking to fit in with your so called friends, they are not your friends and it will take you 30 years and a whole load of money before you manage to stop.

You are not fat, you have a lovely hourglass figure, which will never look as good as it does now, wear a bikini while you still can. Ditch the baggy jumpers.

Being clever is not a bad thing, you were born into poverty and lack of aspiration, but it will help you get out of it, don't dumb down just to fit in.

Please don't get that perm you are considering, it will never suit you.

Do not accept that date to a gig with him, it will lead to 7 years of abject misery that will cast a shadow over your life well into your thirties.

Leave home as soon as you can, your mother is not your friend, she only likes people when they need her and are pliant, she will never celebrate your successes, only your failures.

Dont stop playing your instrument because its not cool, you have a talent, you will regret not continuing when your older.

DiamondsandRainbows · 02/03/2015 11:14

Not a lot, I wouldn't listen to anyone, not even myself when I was 15.

I might possibly give myself a set of 6 numbers along with a date, and tell myself to memorise them...other than than that, not a lot.

rioballinx · 02/03/2015 11:52

Learn some patience. Good things come to those who know how to calm down and wait. Don't do stuff to fit in- you won't look cool you'll look a d*ck and they're not really your friends if they only like you when your being a clown. Don't worry your mum, ring her when you say you will. No boy or man is worth it- love yourself first. Use your head. Don't beat yourself up, get humble, get real, get over yourself. Travel the world, work hard, study hard, get your driving license. Be nice to people, especially your family. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it: don't martyr yourself. Floss your teeth.

BreakingDad77 · 02/03/2015 13:07

Don't be all awkward and silly, they were telling you about her dress to get you to ask her to the prom. Rather then ending up with the random you eventually did and being single for ten more years.

Monica101 · 02/03/2015 15:21

I'd say there are thousands of pretty girls in the world. Prettiness is a useful card to hold but it is just one card in a hand of cards. Don't rely on it too much and value it so much!

SomeKindOfDeliciousBiscuit · 02/03/2015 15:52

Crack on as you think. It all works out. You'll meet your husband at uni and he's lovely - you're going to cross paths at some gigs but never meet there! Ahh, gutted Wink Grin but you'll be happily settled when you're 19 so don't complain! Don't get too upset if some things don't go to plan, as I said it all works out for the best. Keep holding it together, you're a brick Wink

ZingNinjaRoll · 02/03/2015 15:55

get a Textile & Design degree and write lots of craft books. you'll be minted.Grin

but only if leading a different life doesn't alter my meeting with my DH and having our gorgeous children.

in fact i think i still have time to get that degree and write books. but not really for getting minted purposesWink

IPeeInTheShowerOhYes · 02/03/2015 16:50

It will be fine.
You're brother has had a relapse, it's serious and he is going to die. Spend some time getting to know him before that happens.
Mum doesn't have the skills to help you or your brother through this.
Tell Mr Campbell exactly what you think of him.
Chat to boys, they're human beings too and can be friends.
It will be fine.
As soon as you leave school you will discover that plenty of men like skinny women with small boobs.

bluejelly · 02/03/2015 18:20

He doesn't love you, he loves your best mate. But that's ok 'cos there really really are plenty more fish in the sea.

Randomsquiggle · 02/03/2015 18:57

I would say:

It's okay to be gay. The fact that you're not into boys doesn't mean that you are not into sex. And it really is okay.

(Also: blimey, you're clever. Don't waste those brains. You have a number of amazing careers open to you. Follow your heart and apply all your mind and you'll do amazingly well.)

mildlyacquiescent · 02/03/2015 20:56

It wasn't your fault.

slightlyglitterstained · 02/03/2015 22:21

I know what I probably wouldn't tell my 15 year old self, which is that by the age of 40 you will have discovered that the only thing that actually stops your "teenage" spots is pregnancy. Grin

Probably the fourth or fifth "you should have been an engineer" in this thread - anyone claiming there are fewer female engineers "because girls just aren't interested" should read this. Though I'd probably point out you end up in a techie role eventually.

Oh, and hand her a copy of Carol Dweck's Mindset. Think quite a few 15 year olds could do with that, it's well into the period where bright teenage girls decide that now they're hitting stuff they can't do instantly, it must mean they are thick so should just give up.

Jux · 02/03/2015 22:31

You're not fat.
You're not ugly.
You're not lazy.
You're not stupid.

beginningwithA · 02/03/2015 22:45

Yes, you may have a fixed brace, awful glasses and enough spots to do an intricate dot-to-dot drawing, but you are NOT ugly. Ignore all those boys who taunt you. And ignore than even more in 3 years time when the duckling has transformed into a swan and they're all trying to get into your knickers.

Ignore the school careers officer who tells you that your shortlist of A-Level options aren't "academic" enough - your passions are Music and Art and you will thrive at them, so don't waste your time trying to fit someone else's mould - your talents will see you through.

I know you can't ever envisage a time when you won't be with your childhood sweetheart, but you will outgrow each other, and it won't be the end of the word. Don't be afraid of broadening your horizons. Don't be in any rush to lose your virginity.

You have no idea yet how good you have it with your parents - they love you so much and contrary to the bubble you live in, that is not always the norm. They will always be your rock in a crisis, but remember that they are only human and never push them to the extent that they question their devotion.

Walk away from that Christian fundamentalist church. It is NOT acceptable for them to quote the book of Samuel at you and accuse you of being a "rebellious witch", simply because you asked intelligent questions about their teachings. If you stay it will scar you for life and make you a hardened cynic.

Trills · 03/03/2015 11:09

You don't have to brush your hair.

In fact, it's better if you don't.

OneEyedWilly · 03/03/2015 14:44

A few things to say to 15 year old me:

Phil will come round in a year, give him another chance, he genuinely is getting off the drugs but he only has 2 years left on this earth and you'll never stop feeling guilty for shutting the door on him when he was trying to make amends.

Spend more time with Gran, you'll miss her sorely when she's gone.

Do your school work and go to uni. It seems tedious now but you'll regret it when you're the only one not going.

Regret is one feeling that doesn't seem to lessen over time.

Trenzalor · 03/03/2015 17:38

"Here's a pair of tweezers, use them" and stop taking life so seriously - have some fun!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 03/03/2015 18:30

I would try and sell her my book. It's exactly the sort of thing she would love and she would end up with a massive crush on one of the characters.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 03/03/2015 18:38

Don't listen to mum, you don't go to university and get into thousands of pounds of useless(for you!) debt. Being a hairdresser is a real job and you're really good at it. A random girl off the street who starts off as a model for you during your academy training will become your best friend, your maid of honour and the Godmother of your first bornGrin

You marry him. You knew it after a fortnight and you got it right, nobody will take you seriously for a lot of years, and his parents will never, ever, be nice to you. Don't waste your time trying to change, you're a good person, it's them.

d0nkeyk0ng · 03/03/2015 20:09

Be nice to yourself more, stop judging yourself. Treat yourself with kindness as you would a friend or anybody you loved.

It will all be ok whatever you do but maybe listen to your Dad and do English A-level.

ArcheryAnnie · 03/03/2015 23:28

You will have left this awful house in a year from now. Until then, hang on.