Mumsnet Christmas Appeal/Secret Santa - your thoughts please?

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,

It's that time of year again where we are looking towards Christmas and thinking about the annual Mumsnet Secret Santa.

For those of you who've no clue what we're on about, the Mumsnet Christmas Appeal is an annual (obviously) tradition in which MNers nominate other MNers whom they feel to be particularly deserving of support/reward/love to receive a Secret Santa gift. More about it here - and here's how it works plus some FAQs, too.

As we said, it has a long and honourable history on MN - but some have suggested that now we've got Giving Week we should think about retiring the Secret Santa.

So we thought we'd take this opportunity to ask you, before we launch it as usual, if you'd like us to continue with it. We do love helping with the Secret Santa and the thankyou thread is always a very moving read, but it's quite a mammoth thing to organise and there have been a number of complaints about gifts not arriving and/or a lack of thankyou messages which has put a slight dampener on it in recent years.

In short we're happy to stop if folks think it has run its course - and happy to continue if people still think it's worthwhile.

We'd be very grateful for any and all thoughts. Please do post them here.

There are lots of interesting ideas here.

But at heart, the simple* thing of being able to nominate someone for a gift, because they're having a tough time, or because you value their contribution to the MN community, is a lovely thing and I would be very, very sad if we moved away from this.

*I am aware that it isn't a simple task from MNHQ's point of view

The massive workload arises from the anonymity requirement.

You could still do that BIWI but just take out the postal element that makes it a total arse-ache.

Really really wealthy people can have a shit time too. What you have in the bank is immaterial. I'd hate to think that fiscal fortune precludes a Mumsnetter from being included in this and feeling cared about.

For many posters, Mumsnet is a kind of family and nobody wants to feel cast out by their family.

And I would never donate expecting a thank you. That is so the wrong motivation for giving. Altruistic egoism should be enjoyed from the act of giving itself. That's all.

I imagine the Local Editors already have enough on their plates...seeing as they already work many hours for free in a lot of cases.

What too much effort to put out a thread and a tweet to it for people to add their details on? Really? Surely it's a great opportunity to make some local links in the community, get a bit of local press coverage of a Good Thing which could then drive more advertising revenue and sales.

Minimal effort for maximum return I'd have thought.

Not that anyone would be obligated but local editors know their local community so are worth asking. As evidenced by wiganerpie.

Amid all the many other worthy causes and hundred and one things plus the fact that they often have PT and FT jobs too- yes. It is also a minefield of organisation and quite possibly something that would potentially be a problem.

The administration of such activities go way beyond 'putting out a simple tweet or thread' sadly (they will have to then liaise w/ HQ and or the people on the thread which may take a lot of effort) and press coverage isn't as simple as all that either. Local editors cannot just 'get' local press coverage- they have to go through HQ and get permission first for every quote, feature etc.

Yes Wigan that's the sort of thing I was thinking of. Presumably if it's MNHQ led initiative there will be support in place but really, I'm suggesting a list. No liaising or getting involved required.

Any way, it was just a thought.

On balance, I'd say nah, it's too much hassle and MN has got too big for it.

There's nothing to stop posters sending little tokens to each other (and many do), but I think it has simply become impracticable to run centrally, and is pretty much breakdown-inducing for the poor sod tasked with administering it.

Is it such a big task though? Or does it have to be? Nominations in. Donations out. Excess donations elsewhere if need be.

If you ignore the whining that goes on it shouldn't be that awful. It's the minority of users that screw things up for the majority.

So how about banning threads about it at all? No need for thanks. Just leave it to the powers of royal mail.

Like that mnhq can match donor to nominee and wash their hands of it. And hover over the delete button.

It's the whole anonymity thing that is the headache for MNHQ.

So instead of codenames could donors have initials? Ie Ms PR for me? But using real initials. No need to create code names as threads for thankyous unecessary. Easier for post office too.

I love the idea. I accept that mostly it works well (fab) but the times it doesn't must be a minority. And people don't need to complain. They did a good turn. Or they were nominated for one. The angst is unecessary, surely?!

Christmas wishes sounds like a good alternative.

I really feel for those at MNHQ who are tasked with making the Christmas appeal run smoothly.

Right from the start, every time, they're barraged with nonsense requests for clarification (which have already been clarified on the stickies etc), people wanting some sort of variation to the general procedure, general whinging and requests to be walked through every bloody step.

I haven't participated for a few years though did previously. I didn't even read the threads last year as found it all a bit uncomfortable in the 1 or 2 previous years.

I say let MNHQ enjoy their lead up to Christmas too. There are many ways to share a bit of goodwill that don't require the kind of mammoth orchestration the appeal does. MNers are more than capable of offering great support/Christmas cheer between themselves. It's clearly no longer about helping out those in need any more, so just take the mass gift giving out of it. Send a message to someone you like, admire, think of, whatever. If it's genuinely about acknowledging another person then there are many ways to do so that would mean just as much.

I was thrilled beyond words to be nominated last year. I had no idea anyone even noticed me on the boards! If the appeal continues I plan to be a donor this year :)

Maybe, as well as having an opt in/opt out to the various emails/newsletters we should also have an opt in/opt out of Christmas cheer?

MN, if we don't do a Christmas appeal type thing organised by HQ, can you use the staff time you'd normally allocate to this as a force for good? So if you normally have someone working 20 hours a week on this, can you instead have someone spend 20 hours a week at the Salvation Army or Shelter or some other worthy charity that helps at Christmas.

Hmm. It's tricky.

I've got a (very) soft spot for MN Secret Santa, and have taken part every years for the past 6 or 7 years now. I love it, it makes me cry, and is one of bit of MN of which I've always felt very proud.

Having said all of that, last year was a bit Not just the 'waa-waa-ing'...

In the 'olden' days I made up carefully personalised not-very-expensive care parcels based on the details I received, but last yearI found myself raising an eyebrow at the fairly lengthy list of 'requirements' for 2 of my 3 donations.

And there's something a bit odd about sending a £50 John Lewis voucher to someone who tells you they've put it towards something utterly random for themselves (because they absolutely didn't need the money, despite having asked for vouchers rather than gifts) when you would never buy said random object for yourself because it is far too expensive/frivolous/there are other things you need more.

Maybe we can get back to secret-santa gifts being about the thought rather than the value? Or ask nominated MNers to be honest about whether they've been nominated on a need-basis (in which case knock yourself out with vouchers or whatever helps best, because god, it really does make a difference for some) or just for being a damn good egg (in which case, some nice smellies and a hand-made xxx will do just fine)?

I think the problem isn't just the whingers, it's also the effect on posters who don't say anything but do feel sad at not being nominated despite feeling that they've made a contribution/are having an awful time. I'd be willing to bet that there are plenty of people who feel that bit worse for it, which is rather a shame.

A lengthy list of requirements for donations? I can imagine specifying allergies etc, so that if you were allergic to peanuts you don't get a truck full of m&ms. Or even a packet. But otherwise why require anything? It's a gift ffs.

"last yearI found myself raising an eyebrow at the fairly lengthy list of 'requirements' for 2 of my 3 donations."

Wow, surely all the detail needed is 2 boys aged 6 and 8? Or Lone parent* to 6yo?

I'm also that people can nominate themselves

*only relevant as the giver might choose to send more for the parent in that case to give them a little treat - most parents I know go without in order to make occasions nice for the children.

This is where mn is too big to manage something like this.
I am always astonished in real life when people say "so and so is giving me x for my birthday, which matches a, so now I just need b" or "I have asked so and so for y for dd's christmas..."
even when done between close relations I find this astonishing (and a bit rude) but really it is quite logical I suppose in that people who spend a lot of time curating their perhaps very branded and particular possessions are going to attach value to certain things only, and it makes sense to communicate about this, if anyone is ever going to give you a present ever.

However as I am a bit random and scruffy about stuff, and always broke, and like surprises, and was not brought up this way, i find it all bit odd. Clearly mn can't be expected to go across all cultures and income brackets like this.

but I wouldn't take part in something like this - Christmas cards and homemade tokens yes; actual vouchers, for people who may have spent more on a scented candle than I have on my shoes? - nope. So it is going to be a bit exclusive just on that basis as I am sure there are lots like me

If I want fun and random Christmas cheer, a cheap, random secret santa (where everyone who opts in gets something) is fun.

for charity, the food bank and Shelter always get donations from me at Xmas.

But mn is never going to get this right. If you had a loose, varying, complicated group of friends who met in a local pub or cafe, and xmas is coming, wouldn't you either

• have an unspoken agreement that you don't do xmas presents, except perhaps occasional small tokens between individuals given in private that no one else knows about

• have an agreement that everyone who turns up to the xmas drinks gets a present, whether as a secret santa or as small tokens from everyone to everyone

What you would not do, is hold an xmas event at which some people were nominated to receive presents, which they unwrapped publically in front of the whole group, including those who were not nominated, but did not know why

Yes, good points there, Vezzie.