Mumsnet Christmas Appeal/Secret Santa - your thoughts please?

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,

It's that time of year again where we are looking towards Christmas and thinking about the annual Mumsnet Secret Santa.

For those of you who've no clue what we're on about, the Mumsnet Christmas Appeal is an annual (obviously) tradition in which MNers nominate other MNers whom they feel to be particularly deserving of support/reward/love to receive a Secret Santa gift. More about it here - and here's how it works plus some FAQs, too.

As we said, it has a long and honourable history on MN - but some have suggested that now we've got Giving Week we should think about retiring the Secret Santa.

So we thought we'd take this opportunity to ask you, before we launch it as usual, if you'd like us to continue with it. We do love helping with the Secret Santa and the thankyou thread is always a very moving read, but it's quite a mammoth thing to organise and there have been a number of complaints about gifts not arriving and/or a lack of thankyou messages which has put a slight dampener on it in recent years.

In short we're happy to stop if folks think it has run its course - and happy to continue if people still think it's worthwhile.

We'd be very grateful for any and all thoughts. Please do post them here.

I love the idea of the Secret Santa/MN Xmas shizz giving thing, Xmas is a really shit time for me and I liked donating something even if small to someone who deserved extra for whatever reason.

Maybe a dedicated topic for it would help the Whingy gits avoid it completely and the rest of us can enjoy the cheer it brings.

YY, a separate topic called something like "fancy flinging a random nice thing into the void?" (obv something better than that) that emphasises the giving over the receiving (and certainly not asking)

Maryz you realise your first suggestion gives you the acronym of MN RANT?

Oops course you do, just noticed the second one :o

Farely, I prefer Maryz latter one myself

or add some wording to the effect of "if you only want to donate a present knowing for sure that the recipient is "in need" (for want of a better phrase) then here is a link where you can find contact details for your local refuge"

not saying that anyone on MN isn't genuinely in need in some way, but there are people who would make different present choices depending on the situation of the recipient, and MN can't pass on that level of information

I know, bit slow on the uptake today!

stop whinging about whether or not you are thanked - bear in mind the recipient might be having a shit time and find the pressure to thank just too much. So would those whingers who want grovelling thanks please STFU too

I didn't receive mine and my first thought wasn't "Oh no, I haven't received a present" it was "Oh no, some lovely person somewhere has made an effort for me and I can't appreciate it!". If there were a way of politely refusing a nomination I would take it, but there really isn't - somebody somewhere was kind enough to think I deserved a little extra and it would be bratty and ungrateful to refuse.

DS loves his dragon Jellykat toy we were sent the year he was born, but the giver didn't put their number on the parcel so I did what I could using mine but would love them to know exactly how much joy he's had from it - I sewed elastic and a clip on to use in the car and it has saved our sanity on many a long journey.

i vote we use Maryz's second acronym :o

I think it's a lovely tradition and would hate to see it go. I got very annoyed last year at the griping that went on about it as it's not compulsory to join in.

It's something special to Mumsnet. When I've donated, I don't really care whether my gift goes to someone having a hard time, or someone who has made someone else smile.

It must be a mammoth amount of work for HQ to do and I'm not surprised that we're being asked after all of the whining last year, but I'd like to see it continue.

It used to be a fantastic thing when it was an appeal, rather than the secret Santa favourite Mner nomination that it's become. Now, with the competitive giving, and the poor me begging that usually begins around now, and the favourite Mner thing it's basically become, I think HQ' s efforts could be best spent elsewhere.

^This^

It really was awful last year... I haven't been nominated, I deserve to be nominated, I haven't been thanked, I haven't received my gift, I've been nominated and I'm embarrassed, I didn't want to be nominated.... Blah blah... It really was awful!

I received a gift last year and I was very grateful, humble and slightly embarrassed!
I had had an utterly shit year and the gift when it arrived was wonderful. I cried! it was full of imagination and care.
I'm going to donate this year. I want someone else who needs it to get that boost that I received.
I am not interested in thanks or worthiness. I just want to pay it forward.

Although I do think 'Appeal' out to be ditched. 'Secret Santa' is much more appropriate.

haha maryz - that wasn't quite what i meant

people do often ask for more information on their recipients than MN can provide for privacy reasons, and for some people that makes a difference in terms of their gift selection, that's all

"Appeal" does seem to suggest people in need. Which leads to jealousy when people who aren't apparently in need get nominated. So to avoid jealousy it might be worth removing appeal and also banning threads about it, other than the thank you threads with different pseudos.

I prefer a giving week.

^^ Everything Maryz said.

oh yes definitely, we're agreeing here basically - it just needs to be made really clear that MNHQ aren't going to guarantee material hardship, that's not what the MN appeal/SS is about, so if that's where you want your donation to go, you might want to look at another type of gift-giving mechanism

I thought it was for people who either needed a morale boost or to say thank you to people who had helped others or given a morale boost. Or anyone really. I don't see what's wrong with that.

It's no longer an appeal but a secret santa for those that are nominated. It tends to bring out lots of horrible threads, people upset they didn't get anything or sob stories galore.

It would be better to either do a proper secret Santa where anyone can take part and price limited or perhaps nominate a children's charity or women's refuge and do something for them.