Mumsnet Christmas Appeal/Secret Santa - your thoughts please?

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,

It's that time of year again where we are looking towards Christmas and thinking about the annual Mumsnet Secret Santa.

For those of you who've no clue what we're on about, the Mumsnet Christmas Appeal is an annual (obviously) tradition in which MNers nominate other MNers whom they feel to be particularly deserving of support/reward/love to receive a Secret Santa gift. More about it here - and here's how it works plus some FAQs, too.

As we said, it has a long and honourable history on MN - but some have suggested that now we've got Giving Week we should think about retiring the Secret Santa.

So we thought we'd take this opportunity to ask you, before we launch it as usual, if you'd like us to continue with it. We do love helping with the Secret Santa and the thankyou thread is always a very moving read, but it's quite a mammoth thing to organise and there have been a number of complaints about gifts not arriving and/or a lack of thankyou messages which has put a slight dampener on it in recent years.

In short we're happy to stop if folks think it has run its course - and happy to continue if people still think it's worthwhile.

We'd be very grateful for any and all thoughts. Please do post them here.

I'm not jealous. I just don't think those are good reasons to nominate.

I seem to be in a minority with my opinion, so won't be taking part by either nominating or donating this year.

And on the Christmas bargain thread, it is plainly stated that if you do go to quidco or whichever site, then yes, sometimes someone gets a referral fee. If you read the threads properly, you'll also see that the regulars on the threads take it in turns to have the chance to get something for the referral thing. No-one forces anyone to click on one of those links.

I nominated 2 posters from the bargain thread. One of whom had recently suffered a bereavement and wanted a special gift for someone to remind them of the person who had died. She had the piss taken out of her by an absolute whingy fuckwit on that thread for daring to ask if anyone could help her source that particular gift. I also nominated the Op of the thread. Because she takes time and effort to help people out.

Which seems just as valid a reason as " I'll nominate my best friend in real life and in the 45 Facebook mumsnet offshoots we both belong to"

I have to say the whole thing left a bad taste last year with people moaning left right and centre.

I do feel it has evolved totally from the original MN Xmas appeal which was started the year the Xmas club thingie where people save x amount a week and get it at Xmas, went bust. Can't remember what that was called but I think it might have been in Scotland. The appeal was suggested as a way to help MNers who had been victims of that and also other MNers who were in financial difficulties. Originally people sent toys and books and clothes that ther DCs had outgrown as well as new stuff and vouchers. I was overseas so used to offer to send a voucher. MN was smaller then so although it was still a huge undertaking, it wasn't as big as it is now.

So it is a lot different to the original 'Appeal' and I think if it does carry on it needs to be renamed.

I didn't get involved last year but bought from the Refuge Xmas gift list at John Lewis.

Also - a few years ago I sent a gift to someone and from the thank you thread realised that the recipient had received gifts from others too. A testament to the generosity of MNers that there were more donors than recipients that year. It seemed a bit of a shame though as obviously there were loads who hadn't been nominated and could equally have done with receiving. I know that is really hard to sort but I wondered if donors could state whether they are happy to send a gift or, should there be more donors than recipients again, donate whatever they would have been happy to spend on a gift to Women's Aid or Refuge or similar.

I've never really understood how it works. It does seem to involve a huge amount of effort and robust spreadsheet skills.

Dreadful to have complaints of "no thank yous" which seems to me to go completely against the grain of the the whole thing.

I'm pretty anti-giving random gifts to people, yes even at Christmas. Because our lives are very easily cluttered up with unwanted or unneeded items, and I see this as a negative impact on our homes and lives overall. Effectively I think most gifts are a burden to the receiver.

If I do give a gift it will be something specifically wanted or needed or (preferably) consumable. So on that basis, I'm out.

...and let MNHQ run a logistically simple appeal by asking for gifts or money to be sent to Women's Aid.
I like this idea very much.

Linerunner

"I think we should stick to the DIY Secret Santa thread, and a Christmas card one, and let MNHQ run a logistically simple appeal by asking for gifts or money to be sent to Women's Aid."

I think this sounds great.

The lovely Christmassy cheerfulness of sending random cards to random lovely people on the internet, without the difficulty and awkwardness of gifts with any material value.

Before anyone goes "Oh but it needn't be significant material value" - well that is always going to be a bit insensitive and Marie-Antoinetty to think you can judge on a forum like this, at what point something becomes of material significance. Really it is very bad form, bad manners, invites awkwardness and upset; and Christmas cards + legitimate charity = Much Much Better.

I love the idea of random Christmas cards!

Christmas on MN is reflecting RL Christmas very well, it has turned into a MOANFEST. 'Tis the season to be whining.

Please can you just put all the Christmas related stuff into the Christmas topic, including everything related to the secret santa/ appeal, so that those of us who dont want pages upon pages of criticism and moaning can hide it?

Maybe MNHQ can add MN Christmas cards to the merchandise range?

Maybe a card with ODFOD on the front. Or 'AIBU to hate Christmas'

properly laughing at *Which could be shortened to MN Random Appreciative Nativity Token

Or possibly the MN Cheer Up Nativity Treat*

:o :o :o

I think it should stay - I offered something home made last year, no idea if it was appreciated, but it was the thought which counted. There are some posters on this site who I will never meet or 'know' outside of MN, but I like being able to say thanks or merry christmas or just hi to them via this secret santa thing.

Sparking sounds like the best seller will be:

Did You Mean To Be So Rudolf (and not thank me for my SS pressie?)

I gave a gift last year, it was an Amazon voucher and the MNer who received it posted a lovely post about what she was going to get with it. I was chuffed!

Through that post I understood a little bit of her story but it wasn't familiar to me and I don't think she was in particular financial hardship. I thought it was just a nice thing to do!

I stopped reading the threads after I saw her post. Did it all get nasty? People are weird.

I would like to see it keep going.

A ODFOC card would be good.

ODFO Deer!

BeCool there could be an apron and a tea towel and everything.

Ooh yes an ODFOC card-brilliant walk.

YY and all the proceeds can go to Womens Aid.
Right it's all sorted MN - HTH.

Ah but Quint if this thread was hidden Maryz would not have seen it and suggested her completely appropriate names!

Although I'm surprised she didn't just hide it!

Yes I much prefer the idea of Christmas cards and if someone wants to put in a supermarket voucher or similar they can. Or even e-cards and e-vouchers and avoid the whole confidentiality issue with sharing addresses and problems with the post?? Possibly much easier to coordinate for MNHQ: poster A contacts MNHQ to send poster B an attached e-card and voucher. MNHQ then sends it on. Job done. No thank yous, no wondering if things are lost in the post, no waaaah! threads, no confidentiality issues.

It would be nice to have collection points for where those that want to drop off or send physical items for a refuge or the homeless to be able to do so. Have you thought about buddying up with another organisation like NCT (or one of the others) that does baby bundles for new parents? Or Homestart? Personally we donate to a local homeless shelter in our town but they don't have much call for washable nappies, baby grows and muslins! Or even a list of contacts grouped by region would be useful.

And I like the refuge list too.

So... I propose MNHQ scraps the old broken Xmas gift thingy and instead:

Sets up a list of local places where MNers can donate physical things. Use local editors knowledge and also have MNHQ make contact with some other organisations to see if they want to add contact details to the list. Then it's up to the MNer and the contact to sort it out between them.

Organise and manage an e-card exchange for those who want to send a message or a gift.

Let those MNers who want to organise their own Christmas card swap thread get on with it.

Promote a single charity campaign to support at Christmas for those who wish to do so, such as Crisis Xmas dinners or the refuge gift list.

That looks at lot but really it's just facilitating what others are doing with the exception of the e-card exchange which is likely to be much less work that the current faff-tastic gripe fest.

asking local editors for assistance is a really interesting idea

Great! It's like MN Christmas gift giving 2.0. But with less glitches than the new mobile site...

Might even generate a bit of traffic to the local sites too...

Zombie already supports the charities that are important to her.

She really appreciates the opportunity that the Christmas Thingy offers to give something back to the MN community. She appreciates that it is a LOT of work for HQ and in particular for SandyMumsnet. But she would hate to see it end.

She didn't know about the card thread last year but will keep an eye out for that this year.

The DIY threads were really easy. With the Secret Santa present one, it was suggested that you sent one to the previous poster.

The cards one was more a case of, 'Would anyone like a Christmas card?'

But you do have to tell someone your address via PM.