Trolling of the Bereavement board

[NorthernLebkuchen]

Yet again I have reported a thread which has turned out to be dodgy and deleted. I've lost count of how many that is over the time I've been on mumsnet. Trouble is that on that board, above all others, people want to be kind. People struggling withtheir loss reach out hands to others. It's fantastic support but truly awful when it's some git of a troll getting a very sick kick indeed. So can something be done? Maybe a time delay so no new thread will appear there till checked by MNHQ? Maybe no recent namechanges or new registrations posting unless cleared by MHHQ?

i know none of this is easy to arrange but I really feel something needs to be done. It's just awful.

[Edenviolet]

I too couldn't get that thread out of my mind. Dd2 fell off the bed twice as a baby and I kept thinking how lucky we had been that she just had a bad bump.
Ds is 20 mths and every time he climbed up on the sofa this morning I felt nervous. Can't believe somebody would make up such a horrible story.

I had mentioned it to dsis and she said straight away why on earth would you post the same day as dc passing away, I just thought perhaps the op had no rl support.

Had no idea it had happened before, why on earth would anybody do that on a bereavement board, that's just cruel.

[sydlexic]

I did think that was a troll and I am glad it was. I don't understand what people get out of it. So awful for the lovely posters that shared their bereavements in support of the op.

[BigChocolateOrange]

For the people who don't want to report in case the OP is genuine, could you perhaps phrase your report in a way that alludes to it but doesn't actually say it? I've reported a couple in sensitive topics by saying something along the lines of 'I'm concerned about this OP, the post is very distressing and I want to make sure that it's been flagged with you and support offered if necessary'. That way you're not actually calling troll but you are flagging with with MNHQ that you have concerns. I've been right in most cases but one I was wrong and I just got an email saying thanks and that they'd keep an eye on things.

[PrincessFlirtyPants]

A well known specialist forum now requires details of your child's death before it will let you join.

Gosh, that seems very harsh MrsDeVere

[BeaWheesht]

Well I suspected it was a troll thread but I still posted because I'd rather give support to 10 people who are trolls but I've given the benefit of the doubt than not supporting one person whose story sounds suspicious but is actually genuine, particularly when it's the death of a child involved.

I don't think there's anything MNHQ can do but I agree not having them appear in active convonetc might help. At the end of the day trolling is all over the place, I think it's very wise to take most things from a slightly detached standing point.

[PrincessFlirtyPants]

A memorial site?! FFS, that's disgusting. I just can't understand why anyone would do it.

I really hope that the trolling on the bereavement board doesn't put off genuine posters in need of support.

[BitOfFunWithSanta]

There's no shame in saying to MNHQ that it could be a troll though- they don't hold it against you!

[ZombieFromTheRealmOfGory]

Zombie didn't read the thread in question.

However, she is deeply saddened at the number of posters on this thread who had doubts but didn't report in case it was genuine.

Please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE report. Only MNHQ will know that you have done so and they will never think badly of you if you got it wrong and will be eternally gratefuly to you if you were right.

[KrabbyPatty]

It was obvious to me that that thread was a troll.

I tend to just ignore these threads though.

[Kasterborous]

That's awful. There was a poster on there who shared their experience too, how horrible for them. Why anyone would make up something like that is beyond my comprehension.

[shabbs]

Hiya Mrs D.

I think that, at one time, I would believe anybody and everybodies story - IYKWIM. Over time I have felt a bit silly for taking everybody at face value but have continued to do it. At the moment both my parents are so very poorly that I have become a bit 'shrugging shoulders' about MN posters who I suspect are not what they seem. Somehow my sadness and worry are over riding MN trolls. Now I have written down how I feel it sounds 'barking mad!!!' LOL. Ah well.

[IThoughtThat]

I report if I have a vague thought that a poster might be a troll. You have to trust MNHQ to work out if a poster is a troll or not. I much rather over report than miss a troll.

I am really careful but I have been caught out. . It pisses me right off. If I am nit sure I just report and don't post.

[DollyTwat]

MN surely tech could do some kind of check on new posters? A bit like an address targeting function? It could be done automatically.

So when you register the system checks to see if you're banned etc (or does the manual check you do when a post is suspicious)

I work for a software house, I know it's technically possible

[WhoKnowsWhereTheMistletoes]

I saw the first couple of dozen posts on that thread but didn't twig. In fact I reported someone else for being inadvertently insensitive and starting another thread about leaving a baby with a 9 year old, that one was deleted too, the poor OP probably felt terrible.

I agree with Satinsandals - the bereavement board ought not to appear in Most Active, it ought to be opt-in only like SNs, and maybe not searchable on google like OTBT.

It annoys me that even when I have opted out of boards in they aren't excluded from th Most Active box on the RHS of the screen so I still end up getting sucked in.

[ColdTeaAgain]

Unbelievable. I read that thread and almost wrote a post but something made me change my mind about leaving a message, just didn't feel right and now I know why. Am relieved to hear that it isn't true but I'm shocked that someone made up a story about a baby dying.

I'm pretty new to mumsnet and don't really know much about trolls, I thought they were just people who hurl abuse etc, I had no idea this sort of thing went on :( why do people do this?

[AngelsLieToKeepControl]

Hiding the bereavement board like that wouldn't be a good idea imo.

I know a lot of bereaved parents particularly feel like they can't speak about their children and have to hide their pain away so they don't upset people, hiding bereavement would be like an extension of that rl feeling. I think people would also post in other topics where they maybe wouldn't get sympathetic and measured responses.

I don't know what the answer is though

[BitOfFunWithSanta]

We call them trolls, but a more accurate description would be fantasists. The internet is full of them, unfortunately.

[shabbs]

There is no answer to trolls - Angel - none whatsoever.

[GhettoPrincess001]

I was the first person in amongst all the sympathy responses to even hint at a query i.e. hope you get some grief counselling for the children from Social Services Child Protection Team (Hint hint).

Even if ScottishMummy loftily replied with words to the effect that, 'the appropriate authorities will be made aware.'

Turned out not to be true. Yep, there's some sick people out there who would make this stuff up. With just enough facts to sound plausible. Usually this time of year too.

[GhettoPrincess001]

ColdTeaAgain - the same people who con charities, or have a plausible sob story etc etc

It's mostly attention seeking. I've learned over the years that genuine attention seekers are as ruthless as they are shameless.

[GhettoPrincess001]

What narks me is that people who make things like this up are so good at it that people believe them at face value. They rely on being taken at Face Value whilst all the time laughing at how stupid and gullible people are for believing them.

They laugh at the people they are conning for being conned by them. It's a form of bullying really.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

I came across it just after mnhq had commented, trolls on bereavement boards are the scum of the earth.

I know they must have some serious issues but I cant find it in myself to feel sorry for them.

I remember not long after ds4 was born at 20 weeks there being talk of trolls on the bereavement threads, it had never even crossed my mind that someone could do something like that.

Then I became paranoid that people might think I was lying, its just shit.