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Trolling of the Bereavement board

165 replies

NorthernLebkuchen · 17/12/2013 17:13

Yet again I have reported a thread which has turned out to be dodgy and deleted. I've lost count of how many that is over the time I've been on mumsnet. Trouble is that on that board, above all others, people want to be kind. People struggling withtheir loss reach out hands to others. It's fantastic support but truly awful when it's some git of a troll getting a very sick kick indeed. So can something be done? Maybe a time delay so no new thread will appear there till checked by MNHQ? Maybe no recent namechanges or new registrations posting unless cleared by MHHQ?

i know none of this is easy to arrange but I really feel something needs to be done. It's just awful.

OP posts:

Report

Anyoneforacheckup · 17/12/2013 21:56

That does make sense tho, it didn't sound like a realistic scenario.

Worriedthistimearound · 17/12/2013 22:05

Everlong, you are correct of course and sadly in a position to know that. Most posters would just answer in good faith simply because the whole idea of trolling about losing a child is so far beyond most people's comprehension.
I was just saying it could sometimes be difficult to judge especially by those of us fortunate enough never to have suffered such a unimaginable tragedy.

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 22:11

I have always thought that bereavement shouldn't appear in active, last 15 mins etc. I don't think it appropriate to scroll down and see someone whose child has just died next to trivia like should people take off their shoes, use toilet brushes etc. Not only that but it gets a whole lot of 'sorry for your loss' which is not very helpful, but understandable. I think you should have to search for it and then you would get helpful people, with experience and trolls would, hopefully, stick to what has heavy traffic and is found easily.

DramaAlpaca · 17/12/2013 22:12

That thread was horrible, one of the nastiest & most inappropriate I've ever seen. I didn't post because there was something about it that didn't feel right & I was very suspicious, but I didn't report it at the time in case it actually was true. I wish I had now.

When I woke up this morning it was still bothering me and I knew I should report it, but when I logged in I saw that MNHQ had thankfully dealt with it. There are some seriously unpleasant individuals about.

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 17/12/2013 22:13

It's so sad that this happens, I saw the thread and the first thing I did was search the ops name because it didn't ring true, then I decided against posting.

There was once a time I would never have checked and tried my hardest to help, but it is so very painful to post the most heartbreaking details of the darkest times of my life in an effort to help, then find out some idiot is sitting reading it on a screen somewhere and laughing. It has happened too many times now. I know a few others who feel the same way. Sadly this means that some real people are probably missing out on support too it's so difficult to know what to do.

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 22:14

I find it very difficult, I have seen several on sensitive subjects that I think are possibly trolls but don't feel that I can say so because the person might be genuine. I saw that thread at the start and it never occurred to me it was a troll. It goes to prove there are some very peculiar people about.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 17/12/2013 22:21

What would anyone get out of doing that?! It's just despicable.

NorthernLebkuchen · 17/12/2013 22:27

I would say that if you think it's dodgy then click report. I've reported tons of threads. Not all have been trolls. MNHQ send you an e-mail with the outcome and have said publicly and repeatedly that they LOVE reports. If in doubt click report. It does no harm to anybody and may help a lot.

OP posts:

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 22:30

I still don't like to report in case the person is genuine, especially when everyone else thinks they are genuine.

BitOfFunWithSanta · 17/12/2013 22:32

It doesn't make you a bad person though- it just let's MNHQ do their job.

deemented · 17/12/2013 22:33

I now very rarely post on the bereavement boards because of trolls.

I wonder if a solution to the whole trolling thing, would be to make the bereavement board password protected, where the person wishing to post there would have to PM MNHQ to get the password. Obviously you'd still be able to read but just not post without the password. It might stop some of the trolls in their tracks if they can't get the immediate gratification of starting a thread, iyswim?

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 22:36

Any sensitive subjects where people post on very traumatic personal experiences,in order to help, shouldn't be easily accessible.

DramaAlpaca · 17/12/2013 22:36

In future I won't hesitate to report if I smell a troll.

DameDeepRedBetty · 17/12/2013 22:36

Some interesting ideas here. Bereavement is a particularly obvious place where trolls can cause massive distress, but Relationships is another area where it can happen too.

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 22:38

I was thinking 'relationships' too. I have my doubts about one at the moment, but I could be completely wrong so I err on the side of caution as I probably am wrong.

PacificDingbat · 17/12/2013 22:38

Good grief, I am so glad that thread was not real. Yes, the scenario just did not sound believable.
And for once my trolldar worked - it often doesn't...

I did not report because I did not want to be seen reporting somebody who may just really be in distress and in need of support. I know MNHQ don't mind and investigate before they do anything, but I could just not bring myself to do it.
Daft.

deemented · 17/12/2013 22:43

And that, I think is what the trolls are relying on. The fact that people will not report just in case

spiderlight · 17/12/2013 22:44

I shed tears over that thread. Today is a painful anniversary for me and reading that this morning really didn't help.

Marzipanface · 17/12/2013 22:44

oh ffs. i read that yesterday night and was terribly shocked as I have a baby the same age. I felt close to tears and found it hard to sleep.

I am glad it wasn't true but how horrid to make it up.

PacificDingbat · 17/12/2013 22:45

You're probably right.

What happens if MNHQ investigate, the poster turns out to be genuine, will the reporter be informed?

PacificDingbat · 17/12/2013 22:45

"You're right" was to dee.

Mintyy · 17/12/2013 22:49

I reported that thread. It was a first time poster. Individuals like that, inadequate though they undoubtedly are, absolutely sicken me. I do think hq should prioritise doing something about the trolls on the bereavement boards.

peppapigmustdie · 17/12/2013 22:49

I didn't comment on that thread because it felt wrong, only because of being burnt previously. Sadly I now wait a few days which is sad considering a few words would help a truly bereavred person.

FruitbatAuntie · 17/12/2013 22:51

Jesus, WTF is WRONG with these people?

I must be the most gullible idiot on earth, I went to bed last night and couldn't sleep thinking about that poor (fictional) family. I fucking hovered around my DS as he tottered around learning to walk today, anxious he would fall over and bang his head hard... I should have stopped and thought, 'hang on...posting on the same day?'. But then I've read lots of threads by regular posters who have been bereaved, where they have posted very soon afterwards, so even then I wouldn't have been sure.

I don't understand how someone gets their kicks from this kind of thing. I also don't really see how it can be prevented on Bereavement without shutting genuine posters out and denying them valuable support.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 17/12/2013 22:59

I posted on that thread. Never crossed my mind that someone would make that up.

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