I have rejoined just to ask this question.

[hathorisaskingaquestion]

Why are some members of this site allowed to get away with persistently being vile, pushing an agenda, defending the indefensible, upsetting other members, twisting versions of events and generally being nasty, and they do not get banned?

Not about any one particular poster, but I have noticed that some stronger "personalities" on here seem to be Teflon coated.

Why is this?

Why do the owners of this site want that kind of vile poster and do not seem to care about the number of truly decent kind posters who are being upset and driven off the site?

Oh, I know, but you get prats in RL too, don't you.
There are threads I click on as they sound vaguely intresting, see certain posters name and Don't Engage.
Just like a avoid alpha mothers certain people at the schoolgate in RL

all that time

'totalitarian woman sucks teeth in supermarket queue'

Hahaha.
In fairness though I think The One Show did that exact item once.

I know fio. Mind you, you couldn't expect to escape the Nancy Drews forever.

And I'm sorry HQ but a lot of MNetters see inequality and I think you're going to have to find a way forward.

I was hounded off.

Others have been hounded off.

What sort of site do you and your advertisers want?

Because unless you sort it out, I can't see it being a supportive place much longer. Which, after all, is what is trotted out by HQ ad nauseum. Mn exists to make parent's lives better. It certainly wasn't for me.

How are these vile posters doing that?

Actually whilst someone from MNHQ, is it against the spirit of the site to say to someone 'hang on, you are saying x on this thread, but a few weeks ago on another thread you said y'. Does that go against the thread about a thread rule.

@TheSecondComing

I woukd like to ask a question.

It seems there have been some threads recently deleted because they made the OP's of those threads look bad (i think the technical term is 'they didn't go as expected and therefore were pulled')

Also posting history for people who've not been 'outed' has been deleted, which is odd, isn't it?

Why has this been happening quite a bit lately? Thanks

Just cos someone isn't outed publicly doesn't mean that they don't have valid concerns about privacy/confidentiality but we don't routinely delete threads at the OP's request
HTH

So how do we get from a difference of opinion to hurting people in their real life?

I understand why you would share your information with people you like and agree with, but why with people that you don't connect with?

It's a genuine question. I'm more than likely being incredibly naive, but can someone humour me.

@hairylemon

Yes Helen it was on the same thread, infact the post was only a couple of posts above mine. Just chafed my arse a bit tis all.

Well do please re-report it - we'll take a look and see what happened. And, of course, mail you about it.

it was my little flip notebook that gave me away and the fact i only shower once a month

I think some people take MN a little too seriously TBH.

Hath, okaaay, I think I have an idea who you are now.
That was crap and upsetting.

Deleting my FB account is on my List Of Things To Do and will get done if it weren't for another situation I am following at the moment.

hairylemon, I once resubmitted a friend's art work as my own (we were 14 btw) and the same ruddy picture was graded 3 grades below what my friend had been given. By the same teacher!! So I do see what you mean...

You should wash that mac fio, and get a newer trilby.

nagoo - you take private personal stuff that a mn has posted on fb, you take it from FB and you share it with another person who is also on mn and you out that person's mn persona so that the other person can use it to attack them on MN.

So, I post something as myself, using my real name on FB, someone else copies and pastes it to BIWI (for example) and tells BIWI who I am in RL, BIWI then uses it against me on here in my MN persona.

That's how.

Mumsnet can't be held responsible for anything that happens on Facebook, any more than they can be held responsible for posters who become friends in real life and then one shags the other one's H or something. But all this Waa! Bwah! She said no she said no you said that's going on at the moment. FFS. Either deal with it or stay away from your computer until you've had a big cup of Grow The Fuck Up.

@GetOrfMoiiLand

Actually whilst someone from MNHQ, is it against the spirit of the site to say to someone 'hang on, you are saying x on this thread, but a few weeks ago on another thread you said y'. Does that go against the thread about a thread rule.

Probably not against "spirit of the site" - depends on tone/context/whether tis troll hunting.

Questioning someone for saying blue is their fave colour when their nickname is RedRedI'mAllAboutRed is fair enough.

Thanks olivia. I love that very mild and innocuous example.

SGB but they can be held responsible for what happens here.

And they are very very slow to respond to reports.

And even slower to do something.

which breeds ill-feeling and hurt.

@GetOrfMoiiLand

Actually whilst someone from MNHQ, is it against the spirit of the site to say to someone 'hang on, you are saying x on this thread, but a few weeks ago on another thread you said y'. Does that go against the thread about a thread rule.

Guess it would depend how it was said (ie is it a personal attack?) and what the x and y were.

For example, if someone was a passionate breastfeeder on one thread but a evangelistic formula-feeder on another, it's entirely OK to point that out (politely). As it would be entirely OK for the person to respond by saying they'd changed their mind.

If, however, it was a kinda dragging up of old bunfights thing or a "but you said you hated GetOrf on that thread" kinda thing, that might be seen as being inflammatory.

As ever, context is everything.

I doubt that MNHQ can do much about facebook fights though. I'm getting called all sorts on there at the moment, I believe. I haven't actually done anything to the poster who has written on her wall that I am an evil bully, for example. In fact, I seem to remember sending her a rather precious-to-me book at Christmas in a secret santa. But what can you do? Block them, ignore it, and as scottishmummy used to say, trust nae fucker.

Ha! x-post with OliviaMN who is obvs quicker than me.

I think we should use the snake with the trilby analogy

Aye , I live by scottishmummys mantra on here.