I have rejoined just to ask this question.

[hathorisaskingaquestion]

Why are some members of this site allowed to get away with persistently being vile, pushing an agenda, defending the indefensible, upsetting other members, twisting versions of events and generally being nasty, and they do not get banned?

Not about any one particular poster, but I have noticed that some stronger "personalities" on here seem to be Teflon coated.

Why is this?

Why do the owners of this site want that kind of vile poster and do not seem to care about the number of truly decent kind posters who are being upset and driven off the site?

I can see it now at MNHQ:

You put the phone down first!

No, you!

Thank you Helen.

I self harmed from the age of 9 due to bullying. Ended up in hospital - constantly sick - missed lots of school - nervous wreck - have ocd/anxiety issues now. etc etc.

My dd is currently being bullied (we think) and watching history repeat itself is making my mental health rather shaky

Not sure why I'm posting this.

So sorry for the children being bullied

Totally agree that a spat on MN is nothing like the same and It gets me cross when the words bullies, bullying, bjiches etc are flung around so freely here.

I have facial scars, a bent nose and a false tooth curtsey of my bully.

The royalty thing gets me everytime because it is such bullshit.

"You do know that MNHQ know who you are when you NC right?"
Yes, of course I know they can see who I am. I have never been a well known prolific poster which is part of my point.

"I've had emails from MNHQ when I've reported under a namechange and they always start with "hello shirley""

Mine have always started with "Hello "

puffin.Is your DD being bullied at school?
Are you able to talk to the teacher about it to find out one way or the other?

((((((PuffinHugs)))))))) Fellow Puffin

I'm utterly terrified about dd starting school, she's 4 and has ASD and well I'm fucking terrified that someone could break her spirit just because she's different.

Thank you for the [[]]

Puffin - that's the problem we have, the teachers think that dd (7) is perhaps on the spectrum, a clinical psych is writing a report at the moment.

We don't know whether:

1. On spectrum - causes DD to act 'differently' = bullying
2. On spectrum - causes DD to 'perceive' she's being bullied
3. Bullying causes the anxiety which is causing all of her behaviour
4. Some combination of all of the above.

Its so hard because I feel my parents 'failed' me by not stopping the bullying and I am absolutely terrified that I will fail DD. We're doing everything we can but you can't force people to play with your child can you? It's emotional rather than physical bullying all 'you're not allowed to play with us/you can't sit next to us' etc

I think that emotional bullying can be worse. Yes, I have scars and always will have, but I recovered from the beating. From a confidence point of view verbal bullying destroyed me and still affects me now.

Please don't flame me

By loving your DD and caring about her,you are not failing her.And you have spoken to the teachers and it is being acted on.
Finding clubs that your child is interested in,might produce some like minded friends.
And the teachers may know of some children who could take your DD under their wing.

Helen thanks but it was about 4 months ago, I dont need a reply now, one at the time would have been nice but its all water under the bridge. I only brought the incident up here as an example of how IMO (so not saying Im right or wrong, just my perception) regulars or well known posters are favourably treated.

What we can do as parents though puffin that ours didn't, is fight for them and empathise and actually give a shit

and actually give a shit

to ThisWeekonFancyPuffin.

Just to be straight,if people wanted to search my threads,this is the sort of thing I do for the rest of the time on MN.
And I dont give unmumsnetty hugs,I give Mumsnetty hugs

I am so sorry puffin (or rather both puffins)

anyway all this talk of bullying is putting things into perspective. I was bullied horrendously, spat on, egged, pissed on, locked in the haunted storeroom at school, my cat was kicked/put into a cardboard box and left at my door.

HOWEVER I dont like this "people arent bullied on here". If a poster feels bullied on MN then thats how they feel and shouldnt be minimised with "my bullying is worse than yours" type stuff. Bullying comes in all forms and with me it started off as just a bit of ganging up (and ended with me knocking the ringleader out )

Thanks guys

The thing that annoys me the MOST, in schools, here, and RL is that it is the bullied that leave/get secluded/ driven off while the bullies get to stay. I have never understood that.

BTW if anyone wants me to sort out the bullies bullying their kids, I am happy to punch them right in the face.

Poor puffins.

and poor lemon as well - fucking hell, some people are just so rotten.

I am also happy to get on HiggsBosun and go back in time on a pice of string theiory and punch all those bullies in th eface too.

But some people are prone to screaming 'Bullies' when they are simply being disagreed with, or called on their behaviour. If someone posts something utterly stupid and unpleasant and gets a ticking-off for it (eg some Daily Mail-ish shite about how people on benefits should be sterilized) and a lot of other posters go 'That's horrible, you moron, you're totally wrong' it's not bullying.

I tried to bully someone a bit once. There was a girl called Edith* that I didn't like who had kind of sticky out eyes (probs thyroid) and one day I called her Eyeballs Edith. She said, well your middle name is Edith so I can call you that too. And did. And I just couldn't say the bit about the eyes.

*Not that actual name