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Original poster

I have rejoined just to ask this question.

999 replies

hathorisaskingaquestion · 04/07/2012 18:00

Why are some members of this site allowed to get away with persistently being vile, pushing an agenda, defending the indefensible, upsetting other members, twisting versions of events and generally being nasty, and they do not get banned?

Not about any one particular poster, but I have noticed that some stronger "personalities" on here seem to be Teflon coated.

Why is this?

Why do the owners of this site want that kind of vile poster and do not seem to care about the number of truly decent kind posters who are being upset and driven off the site?

OP posts:

GetOrfMoiiLand · 05/07/2012 12:14

Yes it does last, it is always there.

You have only got to read heartbreaking posts on here sometimes from grown women at the pain they still feel at having been ripped to pieces at school.

Ironically dd has done marvellously at a sink school type place in a scuzzy city, it is a brilliant school in comparison to the refined oustanding school she went to in leafy Cheltenham. Just goes to show. And she has been happy there. But I always feel for her when she has silly rows with her friends, as she always frets that it is going to happen again.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 05/07/2012 12:16

Shirley :( and GetOrf. I was bullied at school and it was fucking shit, I used to wake up feeling like I wanted to vomit.

ShirleyKnot · 05/07/2012 12:18

I have namechanged many times to talk about stuff I don't want associated with my regular name actually hairylemon, and I've never been flamed to a crispy frazzle.

I've certainly been disagreed with a lot though, and I've also had very personal attacks made on me in both my regular name AND namechanges. Those people are just cocksuckers IMO so I just report (If I CBA) or leave those attacks there to show the posters for what they really are and then ignore that poster.

As I said there are tens of thousands of us here - we're not all going to agree, we've all got different shades of sensitivity.

I personally find it disgusting when someone says "I feel sorry for your children", but lots of posters say that and I guess I have a different level of sensitivity to them on that issue. So if I see it, I report it and write that posters name in my little black book then carry on with the thread.

ShirleyKnot · 05/07/2012 12:19

SOrry to hear that Ali. I went through a period of bullying at secondary school and then again at the workplace when I was in my late twenties. THe workplace stuff was weird because it just turned me into a stuttering, frightened teenager again - and that's the last thing I am usually.

LtEveDallas · 05/07/2012 12:19

My neice was horribly bullied because she had the misfortune to be born to my lovely, wonderful but sadly alcoholic brother.

She got it in the neck from day 1 of Secondary, and when he died it got worse. She stopped going to school eventually from the age of 14 and you know, no-one, not the school, not the LEA, no-one chased that up.

She is barely literate, cannot get a job, and has absolutely no confidence. Bullying affects people for years and no, I don't liek the way that word is carelessly bandid about this place at times.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 05/07/2012 12:20

Oh yes, my Gladys has said 'I pity your children' on a few occasions.

The festering slob.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 05/07/2012 12:22

GetOrf I am dying to know who Gladys is

ShirleyKnot · 05/07/2012 12:24

er, I meant I was bullied - not that I was the one doing the bullying!

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/07/2012 12:24

So sorry to hear about all your bullied children. Tis crap.

I agree, the bullying word is bandied around too much on here.

hugs all round.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 12:25

@AmberLeaf

Full of personal attacks? really?

If telling a domestic abuser in denial that they are indeed abusive is a personal attack then yes it was full of them.

Interestingly there were very few if any single deletions on that thread.

I actually think that's exactly the sort of thing they should have to explain!

Just coming back on this one, AmberLeaf. Sorry if a bit late in the day.

Before that thread was deleted, OliviaMN posted to say it was going to be nixed, explaining, "This thread started as light-hearted but is no longer so and is not really what MN is about."

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/07/2012 12:25

I too wondered about Gladys, but as I have not read all the thread (shame one me) presumed it was something I had missed.

LtEveDallas · 05/07/2012 12:25

GetOrf,

I do need to know though, does your DD have a 'Cheltenham Fringe'?

Tee2072 · 05/07/2012 12:25

I was bullied. What happens on MN is not bullying.

for all the bullied children that the schools are failing to help. I was hoping things were better than when the school didn't help me when I was bullied.

happybirthdayHiggs · 05/07/2012 12:26

Is it Nurse Gladys Emmanuel? (And does that make Getorf Ronnie Barker, explaining the PA attitude to little Ronnie Corbet in Hully's play wot she rote?)

hairylemon · 05/07/2012 12:26

I dunno Shirley maybe its just coincidence that the times Im on MN are the times when a ruck has kicked off so thats all I see. I guess I am still a bit bemused about my own experience of this, it was just so obvious that I only got complained about on my AIBU thread because I dared to not back down or give the shit stirrers what they wanted.

There is no denying though that posts by regulars, especially ones that interact with MNHQ on a friendly level, get left or overlooked that would be deleted for a newbie.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 05/07/2012 12:27

No she doesn't!

She is quite scathing of them and says that they are the things that the thick yocks at Cheltenham College have when they saunter down the prom on a Saturday morning.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 05/07/2012 12:28

ooh higgs it all works out so neatly

happybirthdayHiggs · 05/07/2012 12:30

err...PA meaning passive aggressive rather than Personal Attack.
I really haven't got the hang of this yet have I. Perhaps you should have to take a test before you're let loose posting here ... or display L plates next to your name for the first 100 posts.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 12:31

@hairylemon

There is no denying though that posts by regulars, especially ones that interact with MNHQ on a friendly level, get left or overlooked that would be deleted for a newbie.

Just coming back to you, hairylemon. We're sorry you never got a reply to your last mail to us. To tell the truth, it didn't seem at the time as though you were looking for a reply. But we'll dig it out and reply now.

ShirleyKnot · 05/07/2012 12:32

Sorry, hairylemon, but I don't really understand what you mean by the AIBU thread where you got flamed and that you got rapped on the knuckles by MN.

You do know that MNHQ know who you are when you NC right?

I've had emails from MNHQ when I've reported under a namechange and they always start with "hello shirley"

QuickLookBusy · 05/07/2012 12:32

Helenpeople asked for further clarification on Olivia's reason for it's deletion.

Some people thought it was because the thread had turned into lots of PAs on the OP, so no longer light hearted.

Others thought it was because there were lots of examples of abuse, so no longer light hearted

Do you know which one of these was the reason for deletion?

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/07/2012 12:33

I was bullied for 4 years and there is no bullying on MN. Proper bullying is awful and soul destroying. Someone disagreeing with you on the internet is not.

In fact this discussion of DC being bullied is making me feel so sad. The thought that my beautiful DC may have to go through what I did.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 12:36

@QuickLookBusy

Helenpeople asked for further clarification on Olivia's reason for it's deletion.

Some people thought it was because the thread had turned into lots of PAs on the OP, so no longer light hearted.

Others thought it was because there were lots of examples of abuse, so no longer light hearted

Do you know which one of these was the reason for deletion?

Think it was both, tbh

LtEveDallas · 05/07/2012 12:37

No she doesn't

She is quite scathing of them and says that they are the things that the thick yocks at Cheltenham College have when they saunter down the prom on a Saturday morning

Thank God for that, I may have had to look at you askance if you admitted she did

GetOrfMoiiLand · 05/07/2012 12:39

Oh no, she is now very much a Gloucester girl, sneers at all those small-town minded Cheltonians over the other side of the M5.

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