The bi women thread that doesn’t get deleted…

[OneOfEachPlease]

There have been several bi women threads on here over time. But they have always got deleted. I thought I would try and start one that doesn’t. Aspiration in the title!

I have done this under my usual username so it’s clear as it can be that I am what I say I am.

This is a thread for any bi woman or any women loving women in any circumstance. So you’ve know all your life and had multiple female (and male?) partners to you’ve only just realised. All are welcome. Maybe you want to act on it, maybe you don’t. Just a general chat and support thread!

My circumstances are that I have probably always known I was bi but put it away in a little ‘that doesn’t matter’ box in my brain. Reader, it did matter. Having got divorced (not related to my sexuality) I have wanted to act on it but I get worried about being inexperienced, body confidence and life getting in the way! I have had sex with women but only twice (2 women, 1 time each). I imagine, for understandable reasons (ex husband, boyfriends, lack of blue hair 😉 …), me being bi wouldn’t cross people’s minds so I am unlikely to just bump into either bi friends or more.

Yes of course.

I would say go for it ! Happened when my ex husband left and I hit 40. Only had a kiss before 15 years prior. One day I just switched the dating app to “looking for women” and met up with this woman after thinking about it for a while. After that I had 2 more relationships with women, one was with a straight friend who I actually met when she sold me some pictures locally and that just developed into a thing. Also have had a secret thing with a married woman but only when we are both drunk. Sober or not, though, I’m definitely still bi !

"...with a straight friend " - So she wasn't straight, then, though @YourAmberSloth .
Also - with married women: I see this all the time, it is not given a hard time because it's not with a guy. Make it make sense.

she used to tell me she was straight but she loved kissing me. But there must have been something more as we did have a connection. We ended things as I didn’t want it to be a secret anymore then she came back into my life a few years later to propose marriage a baby! By that time I had moved on. With a straight man. Who doesn’t want sex or kisses or anything. Hence the getting drunk bit as my friend is the opposite and says her husband just treats her like a sex toy. We can’t win really. I haven’t done anything now for a few months and I think we avoid each other due to temptation. But it’s hard when you aren’t seen.

Side note - both husbands have said they don’t mind us kissing women. I’ve been honest with him and said I need more. He doesn’t want to move out but won’t give me the intimacy. Sorry just felt I needed to explain.

phrased it right - can't seem to win. That is horrible. So he doen't want to move out, but why don't you leave and be happy ?

We are very good friends and he’s great with my grown up sons. But yes I’ve told him we would be happier living separately and to try that. Currently he’s away on holiday on his own as I told him to go and have a couple of weeks out there.

I volunteer and I definitely fancy one of the women who works where I volunteer. I am married with three kids. She is divorced, no idea if she is single. Nothing will ever happen (I think she flirts a bit but it could just be being nice to someone who gives up their time and her personality) but it is making me wonder if I should explore this feeling. See if it is just her or or other women I can build a connection with.
So glad I found this thread!

I’m so glad I found this thread! I’m a long time lurker but have never posted but I’m desperate for some advice from real people rather than ChatGPT.

I’ve been in a relationship for over 20 years, we got together when I was 15 and he was 21, I fell pregnant quite quickly and we ended up with a couple of kids.

I’ve always tried to avoid sex as much as possible but never really could understand why. Over the last 5 years, I’ve had a light bulb moment realising I’m quite possibly a lesbian!

The relationship is over anyway as he’s a controlling narcissist but life is complicated and it’s never that straight forward to just leave.

I’ve recently met someone at a class I attend, she’s the instructor. We seem to have hit it off and I really like her but I’ve no idea how she feels! She’s also met my current partner so quite possibly thinks I’m straight, I have dropped in we will be separating in the near future though!

She’s currently consuming all my thoughts and it’s now been going on for 3 months and isn’t subsidising! I just have no idea how to move forward with it, I’ve never been with or dated a women before.

Does your husband know about this?

He knows I like her but doesn't know I'm wondering if it's just her or potentially other women too. Because I don't know if I'm going to act on it, there's no reason to discuss it.
We have a great relationship and amazing sex (thanks peri!) so it's a lot to throw away, when I might only like this woman because she is 100% off limits. I really don't know yet.

Why on earth would you act on it if you are happily married? Unless you want to blow everything up or have an open marriage??

I have no idea, sometimes you can't help how you feel! And this is my problem, I don't want to act, but I can't stop thinking about it

I am bi , it's having the confidence to act on it I've found difficult.

I'm not very good at reading signals or making a move and there's been a few embarrassing moments to push me back.

@delightfulgal I think it often is difficult because you don’t necessarily know whether the other women is also into women, and I get this thing where I don’t know whether I want to be her friend, be her lover or just maybe be her. So I think it’s not easy even when you’ve been snogging someone to not quite know how to make the next move as a woman, in a way that you do know how to make the next move with a man.

@Confused98765 this is a tricky one! But maybe taking a step back just having the crush and experiencing that as valid is nice in and of itself?

Or maybe you can do things like buy yourself a gym top in the bi flag colours 😂 ??

my advice would be to get yourself out of your horrible situation with your horrible husband. And then have a clean start. When you’ve been really ground down in your current relationship, it can feel impossible to leave, but it is possible.

Sorry I started this thread and then have neglected it for so long! I am pootling along in the same position with a nice little crush on a woman at work that I’m going to do nothing about but I’m enjoying the feeling of having a crush.

Similar here, although it isn't at work for me. I'm not going to act but I'm enjoying the crush

@OneOfEachPlease Welcome back to your own Thread.😄
I posted about 6 months ago with a different name when I was merely curious.
Up thread was a comment about acting and thinking more like a man. This was meaning that we will have to take more risks and not worry about being refused or rebuffed.
Taking the initiative has worked for me, more than once. With the present GF we had coffee together and I asked her if she was ever interested in a date with a woman? She had not before but we arranged for her to come to mine for dinner. It was a successful evening. We meet once or twice a week, coffee, a walk, a meal. Just a happy middle aged couple together.

I've always had crushes on girls, but I really don't know if I would actually go through with it. It's mostly fantasy and I think the reality would be somewhere between disappointing and shameful. I mean I'm sure we've all ended up snogging our mates after the drunken night out but that's all

So much of your post is so sad (from my perspective). I too used to snog mates on nights out. Sex with a woman felt very different when I eventually got there! Where do your feelings of shame come from?

I guess it's way back to my upbringing. I need to let go probably. Although I have a wonderful partner so I wouldn't want to cheat. Probably 🤭

I’m up for exploring my bi side. Always been with men out of circumstance but get more turned on watching lesbian porn. Would love to make a woman cum.

I was in a meeting today with someone at work who happens to be a lesbian. She was wearing what looked like a man’s shirt and had it buttoned fairly low, 3 or 4 undone, every time she leant over I got quite the view and I spent the last part of the meeting fantasising hehe.

Surely that was an invitation. So you have invited her for coffee and a chat.
I like your phrase, "happens to be a lesbian"