The bi women thread that doesn’t get deleted…

[OneOfEachPlease]

There have been several bi women threads on here over time. But they have always got deleted. I thought I would try and start one that doesn’t. Aspiration in the title!

I have done this under my usual username so it’s clear as it can be that I am what I say I am.

This is a thread for any bi woman or any women loving women in any circumstance. So you’ve know all your life and had multiple female (and male?) partners to you’ve only just realised. All are welcome. Maybe you want to act on it, maybe you don’t. Just a general chat and support thread!

My circumstances are that I have probably always known I was bi but put it away in a little ‘that doesn’t matter’ box in my brain. Reader, it did matter. Having got divorced (not related to my sexuality) I have wanted to act on it but I get worried about being inexperienced, body confidence and life getting in the way! I have had sex with women but only twice (2 women, 1 time each). I imagine, for understandable reasons (ex husband, boyfriends, lack of blue hair 😉 …), me being bi wouldn’t cross people’s minds so I am unlikely to just bump into either bi friends or more.

Would you be this supportive of your husband being sexually attracted to other men like he is with you @HP87 ?

Way to go on the supportive side of the thread

genuine question

I wld not, which is very unfair I know

at least you are honest about it

Thanks for the post. I would have followed a two pronged approach, first tried to find a common connection / activity to get closer to her socially because then it would be easier to test her interest without asking throwing lines like my hubby/BF is driving mad, next time I would go out with a women and see her reaction (I find it helpful personally).
Second would try to widen the net to understand if your feelings are just for her or women in general it might help you understand better what you are looking for.
Good luck and keep us posted on the development :)

I think the thing is most of us are brought up on what l would call a “straight default”. So, we tend not to think beyond the status quo. You will grow up and marry a man etc.

Goodness knows the signs were there back in my teens; a group of girls used to do what we called “kissing practice” allegedly to make us better kissers for the boys; of course it was 😎. But my bi side wasn’t realised until much later when away on a work trip and a colleague invited me for a pizza and a video. ‘Never did see the end of the video. The whole scenario was an eye opener.

A few years ago I could have written much of what you have. My barrier was acknowledging it to myself as much as anything, and I think the 40s is where we feel more comfortable in our own skin, while also experiencing a certain disquiet, questioning our path and wondering whether we've been entirely true to ourselves.

Thank You @StarlightLady and @LostFragmentsOfTheTenthMuse for your responses. I think this is my first proper step on here, to accepting this myself - it looks to be a safe space & also supportive. I know completely that I am not being true to myself - and I feel that at the age I am now, I am ready to explore this fully myself- I have no idea what that looks like or where to start, but I feel that I have to do this for my own sanity really - thanks again for replying x

@Bellepeony - l believe you’ll get there. But don’t worry if it takes a while. Just to add, on a personal note l am not a lover of labels. I prefer to regard myself as “sexual” no prefix required. And explanation only necessary for someone who l might take things further with.

Beware though, how much you communicate to men, they can expect you to bring along a friend or expect a floor show.⚠

As a man I have to admit that would be my reaction, selfish I know. However, I do think that if my partner said she wanted to explore that on her own I would be fine if she was open and honest. If she withheld anything or lied, I would consider that cheating and it would erode trust. It’s not every man’s view but it is mine…

@Tigeresslearns Said, I think there are a lot of later blooming bi folk out there - dates I've been on so far prove that, all quite similar stories.
I hope she is right. All I have to do is get brave and make contact.
It was easier at uni, somehow I was in a group of friends who changed partners frequently and also changed their preferences.
I am just ending a 7 year relationship with a man, neither of us cheated.
It all looks a colder and less friendly world to me. But I am certain sure that another man will not be my answer. Maybe a woman isn't right for me either. Maybe I am looking toward a solitary life? Perhaps the second half of my life will be celibate.

(That was far more serious than I intended to write)

Hey that is completely ok, @TidyMaid , there is nothing wrong with being in your own company, at least a little bit. I never understood people who jumped from relationship to relationship, not being able to exist without being someone's partner. Take your time, do the things you love, etc. And if it feels right, you'll know it is time. And also, at least you are closing off a relationship instead of experimenting with other women behind the back of some clueless hubby. I could never take anyone seriously like that, even if there was attraction between us, I would step away.

Same-same @LadyVienetta . I don't want to be anyone's dirty little secret. I get the whole blooming late aspect, but everyone deserves transparency - the husbands thinking they are married to their heterosexual wives, too. I have declined a few attempts like that over the last few years.

@LadyVienetta Thanks for your thoughts. I am quite comfortable with my own company. Since I was about 22 I have had some long gaps between partners. I have my own house. Apart from rearranging furniture and pictures all is cleared away, he is gone, except for a small bottle of aftershave. As it is Aramis I shall be happy to use it up myself.
I shall enjoy meeting women, I shall be looking for friendship and fun it will be different the girl friends when I was 19 or 20 when we were looking for sex and racing to get to orgasm.

I think you can make a relationship look however you like - societal norms don't apply if you don't want them to.

I am pansexual, polyamorous and don't live with my 'main' partner - my relationship isn't 'less than' because of these things.

@Tigeresslearns Thank you, I am very pleased that you are living a life that you are comfortable with. That must be so reassuring.
I am not so extravert and do not wish to overturn all societal norms, only just a little bit.
Your world would scare me because it seems to have no boundaries. It obviously does but they are so far from mine, they are beyond my horizon. I have never visited a world like that. I need to know where the boundaries are, I wish to lean on them sometimes so I need them to be strong.

You have friends of varying closeness you are in sympathy with each other. I just want to make contact with someone like me, just one person to see if we can build a relationship. For the record; I am not in a great hurry, it will happen someday.

I’m bi curious, getting stronger over the last year. I’m married and for various reasons I’m not going to leave him, but I’m finding it harder to ignore this side of me. Posting so that I don’t loose the thread, and I will have a proper read later!

Hi @Worrieddancemum You will find many friends on this board.

Hello everyone! Brilliant to have others join us - I hope the support you get here helps! I’m always struck by how there are so many similarities in our stories!

I’d forgotten about this thread so been reading through since I was last here, intriguing to see so many similar stories!

Hi @maxiemouslady , I remember your name from an earlier Thread. Is all going well with you? Have you found romance with a lady? I am still looking.

Sadly not, life has somewhat got in the way as everything has been very busy! I was away with work and chatted to a woman in the hotel bar one evening, I don’t think she had the same thoughts I was having though haha.

@maxiemouslady , Hi, may I PM you?

Many of us have been there. And sometimes incorrect signals are given out by others unknowingly.

Edited because of typo.