The bi women thread that doesn’t get deleted…

[OneOfEachPlease]

There have been several bi women threads on here over time. But they have always got deleted. I thought I would try and start one that doesn’t. Aspiration in the title!

I have done this under my usual username so it’s clear as it can be that I am what I say I am.

This is a thread for any bi woman or any women loving women in any circumstance. So you’ve know all your life and had multiple female (and male?) partners to you’ve only just realised. All are welcome. Maybe you want to act on it, maybe you don’t. Just a general chat and support thread!

My circumstances are that I have probably always known I was bi but put it away in a little ‘that doesn’t matter’ box in my brain. Reader, it did matter. Having got divorced (not related to my sexuality) I have wanted to act on it but I get worried about being inexperienced, body confidence and life getting in the way! I have had sex with women but only twice (2 women, 1 time each). I imagine, for understandable reasons (ex husband, boyfriends, lack of blue hair 😉 …), me being bi wouldn’t cross people’s minds so I am unlikely to just bump into either bi friends or more.

THIS. it is not only fair on a partner but the only chance of the relationship having a chance without sneaking and cheating.

out of curiosity. which one of you would be open to your husbands expressing interest in exploring his bi side with other men?

I wouldn’t mind, don’t want to appear slutty but it might spice things up. Same sex doesn’t make jealous, but if we wants to have another women big nono for me.

that is a bit odd. a person is a person. so it would be nice for you to play with a woman and he is not allowed? it is usually mysognystic men who say things like this but in reverse. that they think it is hot if their woman has sex with other women because it is not like having sex with another man.

not judging but very odd to me

Maybe I was not clear in the previous post, I meant I would not mind if he want to experiment with another guy but I would feel threatened / jealous if he want to try with another girl. I was talking about his perspective.

I would expect the same for me, that he would let me have fun with another woman but not a guy.

For me my current partner is bi, we've agreed that we won't explore separately but I'm happy to explore together. Best of both worlds!

@SUperchange I think it’s really difficult to judge with women. So maybe focus on how much you enjoy her company and flirting a little and just give it time and see what happens. I am very much guilty of overthinking things with women. And while @StarlightLady’s potential date did flinch, I’d like to think that many more women would just say no but take it as a compliment.

in my view it was not an inappropriate touch nor trespass. Nobody witnessing would consider it wrong and certainly not equate with a hand on a leg from a woman or a man.

Yes, l misread the signals from earlier but it was a gentle hand on a shoulder squeezing past a chair. Yes, it was saying something in this case, but l would do similar with others in my friendship group, where the message would have been quite different.

I am not a very touchy feely person with friends / acquaintances and I'm very awkward when it comes to flirting with women - I'd probably tense up if a woman I did fancy put a hand on my shoulder when I wasn't expecting it 😆

So maybe l got it wrong thinking I’f got it wrong 😀? I thought other signs were there.

l was UK born but brought up in France (due to dad’s job), the French are far more tactile when compared to people from the UK and l think that is where l get some of it from.

@StarlightLady entirely possible!

My most recent 'first date' with a woman was a few years ago and even after we spent several hours drinking, chatting and laughing I wasn't sure if she was 'interested' or just being friendly and I was genuinely startled when she asked if it was ok to kiss me.

It wasn't until she suggested going to a different bar and walked us to her hotel bar I thought perhaps she might be interested! 😆

I can't imagine trying to decipher more subtle signals in a normal social situation with someone who might not even be bi!!

Plus things are further compounded by those who are curious and those whose emotions get taken by surprise (that was me) over a course of events. Everyone has a first time.

Hi all! I hope you’re all doing well! I went out with some bi mates recently and it was so lovely 🥰 really something to be said for being able to be you whole self, no editing, with people. Nothing saucy or romantic, just great conversation with people who get it!

That's great and I'm glad you had fun. However I'd suggest trying to be your whole self when out with any friends.. If they are a true friend I'd hope they would be happy for you. Good luck I'm sure you have some exciting times ahead

Nice to hear from you @OneOfEachPlease . I was afraid that the Thread had fizzled out.

Hi. I've been following this thread for a while. I'm 45 and single. I started experiencing feelings of attraction to other women later in life - I was 41 when I noticed it. I'm sure it's not just a phase as the feelings have been getting stronger over time. I am at a point where I am sure I am at least bisexual. I have not yet had any actual romantic experience with a woman but it's certainly been on my mind.

@BiAcceptance Yes it just gets stronger and harder to repress over time. I was a similar age perhaps 42 when first became aware and finally doing something about it now aged 47.

Also a silent follower of this thread & also 45. Your comment has made me brave it & comment on here so thank you 😊 I would describe myself as bisexual but I have no experiences with women. Again it’s something that has crept up on me in my 40’s. I know I’m not just fantasising or it’s in my head. I have always been outwardly in relationships with men. I just need to make that leap - very hard doing something out of your comfort zone but feel like I’m not living my true authentic self. Good to have a post to chat about it x

I have a very close friend, a woman mid 50 We are spending more time together. Not sharing a house or a bed (yet). But knowing that we are there for each other means so much.

please could you ask for your post to be deleted? All of the previous bi women threads have been deleted because people have been asking for DMs. The point of this thread is to have something that stands and enables people to chat here. I fully understand that not everybody feels comfortable doing that when they don’t know who’s reading it, but if people ask for DMs then this will get deleted as well.

Lovely to have you new peeps! Welcome! It’s it funny how it’s late 30s and 40s where these feelings push themselves to the fore. Why do you think that is?

Perimenopause - higher sex drive, maybe undiagnosed neurodivergence - not able to mask anyone, life-stage - relationship breakdown, kids getting older. These are all fairly common themes I’ve seen discussed on various FB, WhatsApp groups and Reddit posts Ive seen since I started questioning my own sexuality over 3 months or so. Many strike a chord! Personally repression just became impossible anymore- I almost didn’t know I was doing it. Also being in a bit of a transitional phase in life in a number of areas.

I am so pleased I have found this thread. I am late 30s, married with kids. My desires started about two years ago with a particular woman but recently it has got too much. My husband knows how hot I think she is and we do use it in our sex life and it has made it 100 times better. We fantasies about me sleeping with her when we are together.
But this past couple of months I am desperate for her, (she is completely out of bounds, no we don't work together). She definitely gives flirty vibes with me but it's so hard to tell because she'd be risking her professional career if anything happened and got out. Not because of a professional barrier, but more of the gossip side of things. I'd also be a laughing stock if I said anything and she told others and it would ruin a lot of things I do that bring me joy and social opportunities. She is divorced with kids, no idea if she is single though.
He doesn't know how desperate I am. I'm not sure if it is just her or if I'd be open to this with any woman I have a connection with. I just haven't had a chance to build this connection with anyone else. If I was 19/20, she definitely gives me enough vibes to say I'd go for it. My head is messed up!

I have spoken to a very good friend who works with her and she has said to give it more time, at least 6 months. The issue is unless we become friends outside of the current opportunities I get to see her now then a situation will never come up for me to say/do something. My friend suggested trying to make that connection happen first.

Omg @MidlifeQuery having just read your post again I can completely agree with those. My sex drive has gone through the roof since DH had the snip and I haven't had to be on birth control, I do wonder if that is a factor. My youngest is about to go to full time school so I'm in that transitional phase of things like what do I do without him here, I want a new job that doesn't require as much flexibility around the kids etc. Life feels a bit flat at the moment so is it excitement I'm after, or is it her. I just can't figure it all out.