Page 33 | Sexless Marriages Support thread

Aishabibi · 2025-04-13T12:06:38+00:00

I’ve noticed since coming onto this section that there are a lot of us in sexless marriages. I wonder if having a thread to share experiences, survival strategies, sex toy recommendations, FwB set ups for those who’ve agreed to open things up or anyone that has managed to get things going again. my situation is nothing from DH for over 3 yrs. he says he’s not interested at all, no urges whatsoever. He agreed I could explore a FwB, which I did find. Before that, lots of failed attempts to get him interested (lingerie, porn, and a growing collection of toys

ThatRoseDeer · 19/09/2025 11:14

I’ve told a few good friends. A couple of them thought I was lucky as they’d love their husbands to not want sex, although they could see it wasn’t ideal for me.
The other few were like ‘doesn’t that just make you housemates?’. Erm, yup!
Interestingly, they all thought I should stay until kids are adults as it’s not that important in the greater scheme.

Original poster

Aishabibi · 19/09/2025 12:48

A lot of my friends are just too conservative to talk about sex openly. I did think that is what I would do, stay until kids older and then leave. However, opening things up a little has helped massively and we are getting on better

OP posts:

Original poster

Aishabibi · 19/09/2025 13:02

In fact, reflecting, I think a lot of my female friends think sex is a bit disgusting based on conversations in the past. This was actually said once after we watched a steamy oral scene in a film once. This is why I have come on here for advice and to talk through my frustrations

OP posts:

DeepRubySwan · 19/09/2025 22:42

NCForThatForumM · 18/09/2025 15:41

Sounds more like a misunderstanding over what was said. Or even someone saying "Is it because I'm fat?" and he's just nodded to avoid the real reason. There's not a man alive who would turn down a shag purely because of 10kg in weight, that's not how men are wired up.

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But he did. For four years. When I first asked him he denied it was weight related. Then later admitted it saying 'dont you want to be more attractive?' and the proof is in the actions anyway. He only demonstrates interest if I am very thin. He only initiates then. So his actions mean more than words anyway. So as a man what do you think is going on here?

Questions101 · 20/09/2025 21:45

I really miss the intimacy and would love to meet a female in a similar position. At least there would be a level of understanding, and hopefully we would work together to make sure this never happened again.. I live in hope.

Lifesabummer · 24/09/2025 02:11

Having read all the posts, yes I mean all here is my take on sexless marriages/partnerships
No one should let things get out of hand to the extent some posters have which makes me very sad, but I will give u all my tenpenny worth.
Life is far too short to let it go to waste and just settle for what is blindingly obvious a very poor situation that a large number of posters have found themselves in, without trying to move on because of children or health issues etc.
Please please once u have tried everything possible to get the answer to YOUR needs/ desires then it's time to move things on, if it means an open marriage or divorce etc
Whatever floats your boat then DO IT, with technology moving at an every faster pace NO ONE should suffer with varing degrees of a sexless existence MENTALITY
I am Manchester based but I am much travelled
around the UK I will happily talk, text or write or post to anyone who is looking to expand their horizons
Grasps life's opportunities with both hands everyone, life's far too short as I said earlier

NCForThatForumM · 27/02/2026 08:59

I thought this said it all:

TruthSeeker12345 · 28/02/2026 03:02

NCForThatForumM · 27/02/2026 08:59

I thought this said it all:

I agree with what Laura How said in the video. Thanks for sharing.

Lugol · 28/02/2026 11:14

JaneM86 · 13/04/2025 16:20

This links interestingly with another thread I just came off about open relationships. A few readers commented on how much more common it seems to have become for people with low / no sex drive to agree to their spouse finding a lover. This was the solution in your case, as it was for me and my DH.

I suspect it's become more common because the Internet has normalised the scenario or even made it attractive for men who lose interest in intercourse with their spouses. In a pre-Internet era such arrangements existed but they were so taboo, no one talked about them. Now look at us, openly discussing them in public forums. Think how many men will read these threads and think "mmmh... could I share my wife, could this be the solution to our little problem?"

Two men in the other thread even commented on the relief they felt when the arrangement was put in place and they no longer felt the weight of responsibility for their wives' sexual gratification. In such cases, it seems to me everyone's a winner, so unless people attach value to monogamy for religious reasons (we don't) to me it seems a very good solution in cases where libido is totally different between partners. Why throw away a whole marriage because of low libido? Why spend thousands on counselling and sexy lingerie, why spend hours reading books on Tantric sex? In most cases all those things probably don't work anyway.

I'm not saying opening up is for everyone and it certainly shouldn't be pushed on unwilling partners. But at the very least it should be an option that couples can discuss, along with other more traditional ones. When my DH and I went through sex counselling, it wasn't mentioned once by our therapist. Why? We spent months taking showers together, doing sensual massages with essential oils and scented candles. It never fixed anything. Then he developed a cuckold kink by watching porn, we went down that route (which initially I was totally against because of the stigma and my own misguided fears) and we're now happier than we've ever been. Just wish we'd done it much earlier. I feel like I wasted so many years, when my body was younger, stronger and more attractive, with little or no sex (and what sex we did have was pretty awful). Now I'm trying to make up for lost time.

Thank god opening up is becoming a more widely acceptable solution, long my that continue. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, to me it's a no brainer.

Tantric sex absolutely works but in order for you and your partner to do tantric sex you need to be HAVING sex and that connection which in a sexless relationship that connection between a couple is gone so it's not going to work for them obviously.

Open relationships might work for some and I don't judge them but for me it would be no good.
I need that connection with who I am with and if it wasn't there then for me the relationship is fractured.

moderate · 10/03/2026 22:38

Just found this thread (linked from elsewhere on MN) and read all 33 pages. My heart goes out to everyone who contributed and I hope that things have since improved for each and every one of you.

CarbGoading · 14/03/2026 23:11

AtYourPleasure · 15/04/2025 10:42

I was talking about this just the other night with a male friend. His take on it is that: women know they are going to go off sex when they get married and have kids. They should be upfront about it.

Women have enough of a sex drive to conceive and wait until they have kids to decide that they hate their husbands bitterly and want to harm them as much as possible.

The only thing the husband has done wrong, is get married. And that marriage BTW... he didn't want to get married - he didn't want a life partner. He only did it because you wanted it.

I asked what he thought about the women who were in sexless marriages because of their husbands lack of drive and he said he didn't believe it as men are wired to provide sex.

Is he right? Do women bitterly hate their husbands and do this on purpose? Are men lying about not having a sex drive?

Yes he's right. When a girl turns 16, they get invited to a meeting in the woods. There, they are inducted into the secret knowledge of how you have to pretend to like sex to get a man you don't like to marry you, so you can have a baby, then torture the man with sexlessless for the rest of his life. When I had my initiation I asked why we couldn't just have babies without getting married, seeing as the culture had changed and I didn't fancy being tied to a guy I don't like for years. But at that point they made me drink from the chalice and I fell asleep and had the weirdest nightmares about flying on the back of a giant owl, so when I woke up I agreed with them on everything and never raised it again.

NCForThatForumM · 19/03/2026 08:51

CarbGoading · 14/03/2026 23:11

Yes he's right. When a girl turns 16, they get invited to a meeting in the woods. There, they are inducted into the secret knowledge of how you have to pretend to like sex to get a man you don't like to marry you, so you can have a baby, then torture the man with sexlessless for the rest of his life. When I had my initiation I asked why we couldn't just have babies without getting married, seeing as the culture had changed and I didn't fancy being tied to a guy I don't like for years. But at that point they made me drink from the chalice and I fell asleep and had the weirdest nightmares about flying on the back of a giant owl, so when I woke up I agreed with them on everything and never raised it again.

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I knew it! I bloody knew it! That's exactly what I thought happened!

Except the Owl bit, I wasn't expecting that.

🦉

CarbGoading · 19/03/2026 10:57

NCForThatForumM · 19/03/2026 08:51

I knew it! I bloody knew it! That's exactly what I thought happened!

Except the Owl bit, I wasn't expecting that.

🦉

Edited

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No one expects the owl 🦉

Pgov · 22/03/2026 16:30

Have you ladies tried sexting, it could be a middle ground to blow some steam off :)

FuckNugget69 · 22/03/2026 20:35

Sexting who? The husbands who clearly aren't interested in sex? 🤔

wizzywig · 22/03/2026 21:08

Sexting doesnt really hit the spot with me. I want a real life man to genuinely want me. Its killed my confidence to be in this type of marriage.

Pgov · 22/03/2026 21:16

FuckNugget69 · 22/03/2026 20:35

Sexting who? The husbands who clearly aren't interested in sex? 🤔

haha no, another guy or girl you can connect with online. Feel free to DM happy to hare my experience.

AtYourPleasure · 22/03/2026 21:20

Pgov · 22/03/2026 21:16

haha no, another guy or girl you can connect with online. Feel free to DM happy to hare my experience.

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You're looking to explore your bi side ... so are you only looking for women to DM you?

Pgov · 22/03/2026 21:23

AtYourPleasure · 22/03/2026 21:20

You're looking to explore your bi side ... so are you only looking for women to DM you?

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Yes I am exploring, and no not looking to get DMs for that purpose. Just had a nice experience thought I would share as I found relevant to the group.
The DM was suggested to be able to provide context without spamming the thread and going on a tangent discussion.

Star548 · 22/03/2026 21:59

I feel like I have been co-parenting with DH for a while now. We used to be so intimate with each other, but then slowly that disappeared and communication became solely focused on DS. We would bicker more and more and I would feel so rejected and unappreciated. I started sexting with a friend from school and I think that help alleviate some of my feelings of rejection. He lives abroad so I’m unsure if it would ever become more than just sexting but it’s nice to feel noticed once in a while, although sometimes it’s hard as the time difference doesn’t always work. But That has actually in turn helped my situation with DH as I feel like I am not constantly seeking something he was clearly not going to give me