Amazing guy but the sex

[BrionyM]

Seeing a man for a few months. Gradually fallen in love and he has many wonderful partnership qualities. We seemingly have strong chemistry, always kidding and touching and affectionate outside bed.

The first time we tried sex we had intercourse twice, lasted a few minutes each time before he went soft. He went down on me & fingered me but I didn't cum which bothered him.

So over the last of week he stopped masturbating before we met. This time we didn't attempt intercourse at all. Again he went down on me and it felt amazing but I didn't get there so he gave up after 5 mins.

We did some mutual masturbation and he's otherwise asked if I can 'be patient'. I adore him so want to give it time but sex is very important to me. How much time would you give to see if things improve?

Yeah I get that.

Would it help to set yourself a timeframe for how long you'll wait to see significant improvement?

He might be the greatest guy in the world but you're just not going to bond if this goes on and on. Well, I definitely wouldn't.

@YouDidntEvenAskIfSheWasThereMoriarty yes I think a month - 2 months tops, if I feel things are starting to improve.

He's the best possible life partner potential I've met for years so I want to give him a chance. He clearly wants it to get better.

If not, I'll end it in time for summer.

That sounds really reasonable.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that this is a teething issue.

@BrionyM
Was it you, him or both of you who wanted to wait before having sex?
And if it was him then what did he say to you?

He was clearly hard enough last time, I think he just worried he'd lose it. Next time I'm just going to hop on. 🙂

Memories have come flooding back for me @BrionyM ...

Taking ages to get him hard with my hand and my mouth.

Hopping on when he's fully erect... Only to feel him shrivel up inside me within 30 seconds.

There is no worse feeling in the world.

The disappointment they show in themselves, you trying to make them feel better when inside you're screaming. "IT DOES MATTER"

Things get going again, but he dare not enter for fear of a repeat.

Ex used to get me off with his mouth and fingers, then make me lie on my front so he could finish himself off while rubbing my bum.

For me, oral is an ok orgasm for me, but penetration is where I'm at and where I hit my highest highs. Our sex life just wasn't enough for me, and there's only so long a girl can be repeatedly disappointed.

I truly hope you have a different outcome.

For me, oral is an ok orgasm for me, but penetration is where I'm at and where I hit my highest highs.

Yes, this. I like having something to grip on internally. But something like 80% of women don't come through penetration, so it won't affect everyone the same.

I reported a couple of them to mods - I don't care about their squabble and wish they'd shut the heck up.

He sounds v inexperienced so use that to your advantage, tell him what you want, show him what you want and don't let him stop until you've got what you want. Also you mentioned he's stopped masturbrating during the week. As a man we all know rnd 2 lasts longer so stopping is only making it worse himself so when he's with you and he's had no sexual release beforehand he's definitely not going to last long.

@Anotherbloke1 thanks.

He was with his last ex for 8 years and yet he also says he is inexperienced. I assume he seems variety/number of people rather than actual sex.

He supposedly abstained from sex for the week but then didn't cum last weekend. Makes me wonder if he actually gave in and masturbated before seeing me.

Seeing him tomorrow. I'm going to be much firmer about what I want because giving up due to low confidence leaves me high and dry.

Seeing him tomorrow. I'm going to be much firmer about what I want because giving up due to low confidence leaves me high and dry

you’re gonna put pressure on the situation which will definitely make it worse, it’s not gonna go away easily, it’s gonna take time. Seems like a lot of hassle and hard work for a new relationship. He should get this sorted before starting to see anyone new really.

I’m confused as to why your stance has changed between this week to last? Maybe you have had a chance to think about things? Thinking him being with same person doesn’t qualify for inexperienced? I’ve only slept with 3 people so far in my life but I wouldn’t say I was inexperienced as had sex so many times just with the same person? Maybe it’s an excuse for the problem he has .. think just approach tomorrow relaxed and see what happens though. If you don’t think it’s gonna work you can end it after the weekend. I am behind you though, I have a high sex drive and it’s good you’ve experienced the issues now rather than later! Good luck keep us posted x

Oh dear, he's already talking about having a migraine before our date. I smell a no sex excuse coming 😂

@Secondstart1001 he has also slept with 3 women including his ex, so I'd hardly say he's inexperienced. We will see how the weekend goes!

@BrionyM agree with you and yes does sound like a convenient coincidence. It’s sad to think sex gives some anxiety ..

Oh flipping hell. He's coming across as a bit of a wet blanket to me.

@Secondstart1001 some improvement...

We both came this time although not through intercourse. He did fuck me for longer but ultimately still lost his hard on.

He's mentioned twice how 'tight' I feel during sex and says his dick is quite sensitive. I have a feeling this might not work in the end as it's about how your parts fit together. I've never been told I'm tight by anyone but a FWB.

He says if it comes to it he'll get Viagra but at 30, he shouldn't need to rely on that imo.

I also got a full body massage so can't complain too much...it was definitely hot all round, but need to see how it goes.

@BrionyM it sounds like it was much better but tbh my partner who is well endowed loves the tightness of my vagina. I’m 5ft and he is 6ft1 and he never has an issue and he’s 42 so older than yoour man. Sounds like he is making the effort and intention to use viagra too! He realises the issue is him and not you and it must be so frustrating. Did it at least feel good when there was intercourse? Did he stay over as morning sex worth a try x

Thanks for update! Some improvement is better than no improvement or deterioration especially as nothing materially has changed apart from maybe some more open communication about sex?

OP does he smoke / drink / use any recreational drugs? Sorry if this has already been mentioned as only picking up now after your update. If yes to any of these needs to try and cut down as this can effect erections.

I agree with you that I don’t think viagra is the answer especially as there isn’t even a clear diagnosis. Whilst it has still only been a short time I would still reccomend blood tests, blood pressure check, GP looking at what medications if any he takes as they could be simple fixes and if they’re all normal, thinking about counselling. As I’ve said before only you will know how long you’re willing to stay with him whilst this is all going on, but what I would say is that it’s unrealistic to expect quick changes when there has been no intervention and the fact that there has already has been some improvement is a positive sign!

good luck! Hope it gets and stay hard ;)

So now he’s blaming you? Interesting.

This is so weird...

You being tight and his penis being sensitive is an issue for him? That's kind of the whole point for men...

I don't know girl... Someone seems off about this whole situation.

As I said before but based on OP’s previous posts, run. Plenty of other decent men out there without these issues.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain I always hear there's plenty of decent men but have barely them in 5 years of dating. Or at least, I've met nice guys, but that doesn't mean we click on a romantic level. That click is rare for me.

Last guy I dated was perfect in bed but personality was crap. It's typical.

@Theboymolefoxandhorse he doesn't smoke but drinks a bit during the week. Yes last time was better and we had talked more beforehand. I am willing to give it a bit of time but am also dubious about Viagra as you are - he's young and fit otherwise. In the end, I need a full sex life. I'd be sad to move on but will if I have to.

Has anyone said tight foreskin yet? That would track with too tight and penis too sensitive, could mean sensitive in a painful way.

Have you tried dating in real life as opposed to online?

Online is as much part of real life these days as going down the pub.

True, true.