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Original poster

How common is it for men to like giving oral to women?

157 replies

SexBoardQuestions · 11/08/2023 17:39

I’ve slept with three men. None of them have even tried to give me oral. One said he had with a previous partner and didn’t like it. The others didn’t even try. Am I unlucky or is this normal? Well I know it’s not normal, but is this wildly out of the norm or only slightly out of the norm?

And for the men answering, I kind of think you will skew to the ‘yes I love it’ side, but you’re already showing your interest by being on this forum. So how about other men you know? Do they like it?

Women - what shall I do? I kind of feel it’s becoming a dealbreaker. With current (fairly new) man I’ve mentioned it a couple of times briefly, out of the bedroom. I feel like I don’t want to ask in bed as maybe he doesn’t want to (fair enough) and I’d rather a man wanted to do it, and asked ME rather than me asking HIM.

OP posts:
LadyChilli · 25/08/2023 21:47

I don't think I've ever had a regular partner who doesn't at least give the appearance of thoroughly enjoying it. I took that at face value as I like giving BJs. Everyone enjoys different things and that's their right but I'd probably get slightly paranoid if a partner didn't like going down on me.

DixonD · 25/08/2023 22:54

LadyChilli · 25/08/2023 21:47

I don't think I've ever had a regular partner who doesn't at least give the appearance of thoroughly enjoying it. I took that at face value as I like giving BJs. Everyone enjoys different things and that's their right but I'd probably get slightly paranoid if a partner didn't like going down on me.

My DH definitely likes doing it - sometimes I can’t get him to come back up!

Saraooo · 26/08/2023 14:35

I read somewhere that it is a cancer risk (HPV virus)z

Shifter · 26/08/2023 14:39

Absolutely love doing it. Love a good 69 too with her on top.

User1789 · 27/08/2023 19:07

How old are you? Men didn't start giving oral as routine, until their mid-late-20s onwards ime.

NameChangeEmbarressed · 27/08/2023 21:05

User1789 · 27/08/2023 19:07

How old are you? Men didn't start giving oral as routine, until their mid-late-20s onwards ime.

I hope this isn't true as a lot of women would be missing out in their early relationships.

I can't comment about this further though as I've only ever slept with my husband (and him with me). We've been together since we were 17 and 18 and he's always made it a priority, right from when we got together. Pretty much every time we have sex.

weathervane1 · 27/08/2023 22:52

A similar thread from a while back. I said then and I'm happy to repeat it now: giving oral is a wonderful thing to do. I'd rather give my partner oral than receive a blowjob and whilst I love penetration, my penis can't taste or enjoy the wonderful scent of a woman and it's not really capable of stimulating as much as my tongue can.

Is oral sex a regular thing in your relationship? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sex/4715682-is-oral-sex-a-regular-thing-in-your-relationship

Disturbia81 · 31/08/2023 10:42

Partners- not so much sadly.
Men just met for sex- they seem to live for it

Lovelynames123 · 02/09/2023 17:46

All the guys I've been in relationships with have done it, and seemingly enjoyed it, plus a good few one nighters.

It would be a deal breaker for me, it's my favourite thing!

HoneyBunnii · 02/09/2023 20:44

@SexBoardQuestions seeing everyone complain of not getting it regularly made me want to kind of add my situation hoping it might make you feel somewhat better about yourselves lol... i have been in two relationships (one short term and current long term/marriage) and i have never experienced oral in my entire life.
I love my husband alot and wouldnt change him for the world but it is abit sad thinking that i will never get to experience something that seems to come as a natural part of sex for everyone else :( i mean, i did give it a few times but he can never hold back long enough and finishes real quick which means i dont really get anything in return so stopped giving it...but i have never been on the receiving end.. i havent bought it up with him because i guess he is just those type of people who is a clean/hygiene freak and i dont want to put myself in a position to just be rejected because it is going to make me feel really bad.. but you guys should feel super lucky that you have experienced it unlike me (i am now in my exact mid 30's and doubt i will experience it in the next 30 years either) its not something that im gonna end my relationship over though because he is a good husband in every other way

Thisisworsethananticpated · 03/09/2023 20:33

It’s great if the man really likes doing it

and if they don’t like doing it - a gentle finger massage does the same

I wouldn’t have it as a deal breaker
is the sex otherwise good ?

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 05/09/2023 02:26

AuNatrel · 17/08/2023 10:33

I have a question about this. Is it common for men to be turned on by a woman's smell and taste when giving oral? My own partner has said mine drives him wild. I assume it doesn't normally have that effect for bi and lesbian women - or does it?

Whether giving head gets you hard/wet is a pretty reliable diagnostic test for whether you fancy someone. When I first performed cunnilingus, I was very nervous beforehand because I wasn't sure whether I'd like it. When I got down there, it became clear that I had nothing to be nervous about. So yes, giving head is crazy hot for bi and lesbian women.

35dadof2kent · 05/09/2023 09:37

Genuinely my favorite thing to do, i would do to my wife every time if she would let me, since birth of children shes not been as keen, but 1. turns me on so much, 2. pardon the graphicness but it gets her soaking and if i can make her cum first it makes it feel so much better when we go full PIV

Simon12 · 06/09/2023 16:07

Have not read other replies
I absolutely love to give oral for me it is just lovely
a pillow under the ladies bum for the perfect angle and to reduce my neck strain and wow take my time and to feel an orgasam build then explode on my face is lovely then to gently tease for another it is my favourite thing I think the secret is to just take time
we both love oral and I know my wife will enjoy reciprocation!
I never understand how guys can want their ladies to give them a bj if they are not delighted to do the same
so to answer the question am and always have been a massive fan

Username5656 · 08/09/2023 19:40

Absolutely love giving oral sex, I’d happily do it for hours. I can’t imagine why someone wouldn’t want to do it!

PermanentTemporary · 09/09/2023 06:30

Imo there is no such thing as a man who is 'good in bed' but not keen on giving oral. That unfortunately doesn't mean I havent had relationships with men who dearly loved and fancied me, and who I had pleasure with, but who just weren't interested in giving oral in any real way.

I didn't encounter a man who really loved doing it, and who was good at it, until I was forty nine years old. Too long.

Giving oral to the women I've encountered has been fantastic but then they have orgasmed. I can imagine that without an orgasm as feedback it is harder, and I've never come from oral. Yet.

MovedonfromMartin · 09/09/2023 10:51

@PermanentTemporary I didn't cum from oral until this year and I'm in my 50s. Wow, it was worth the wait! Orgasms don't come easy to me (pun intended) but it appears I just needed the right buttons pressed by the right man and I found him!

DGConsultant · 10/09/2023 17:03

Most men I know love It. Conversely, a mate told me recently that he'd been with a partner and she didn't enjoy oral, and that really disappointed him. Everyone is different, I suppose. You should ideally enjoy mutual oral for a good sex life.

CallumDansTransitVan · 10/09/2023 17:39

One of my favourite parts of sex. Love sensing how my partner is getting more aroused while I do it which turns me on more.

BarryTaylor · 10/09/2023 18:19

CallumDansTransitVan · 10/09/2023 17:39

One of my favourite parts of sex. Love sensing how my partner is getting more aroused while I do it which turns me on more.

Absolutely. Making my partner orgasm through giving her oral gives me a massive buzz.

lilkitten · 20/09/2023 20:30

StarlightLady · 14/08/2023 15:28

At the end of the day, nobody can deliver like another woman. It’s a case of full understanding about how the (female) body works.

I recently gave oral to a woman for the first time (along with fingers, as that's what I like to receive at the same time). I asked for honest feedback, she said it was amazing. She did orgasm, so I guess it was!

lilkitten · 20/09/2023 20:34

Ok, I have slept with a lot of men. IME most are keen. Some are so keen they would happily do it for an hour which is too much for me as I like a bit of variety. The key though is communicating that you'd like it, as they may think you don't want it. I'm poly & kinky, so it's quite normal to have a chat before I play with a new partner about things you would like and things you wouldn't, and to what degree. Now I'm used to discussing boundaries beforehand, I think it's making for a better sexual experience. I find it's the same with men, some don't say that they would like me to give them oral but they would quite like it.

CallumDansTransitVan · 21/09/2023 13:54

lilkitten · 20/09/2023 20:34

Ok, I have slept with a lot of men. IME most are keen. Some are so keen they would happily do it for an hour which is too much for me as I like a bit of variety. The key though is communicating that you'd like it, as they may think you don't want it. I'm poly & kinky, so it's quite normal to have a chat before I play with a new partner about things you would like and things you wouldn't, and to what degree. Now I'm used to discussing boundaries beforehand, I think it's making for a better sexual experience. I find it's the same with men, some don't say that they would like me to give them oral but they would quite like it.

Agree totally. I've said the same on another thread. We are all adults, discussing what we like or don't like in (or out) of the bedroom whould not be anything to be coy about with a sexual partner. If both parties are on the same page over something, then fantastic. If one isn't up for it, then no judgement and no loss no foul imo.

mysexboardname · 21/09/2023 16:13

My DH absolutely loves giving me oral, but only when groomed - but can't really blame him there as the feeling is mutual

I'd suggest a 69 next time you're in bed...

IcyLilacZebra · 21/10/2024 03:09

Been with dh 8 years he's probably only been down on me 4 times at best not that it bothered me because he knows how to make me scream with pleasure yes I do wish he would do It more but it is what it is I personally love giving him oral and making him have that pleasure

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