To the regular posters on the Sex topic threads

[justcallmebozo]

I don't post much on forums, bit of a lurker. (lurker?? - probably could have found a better word to use on a sex thread!!)

Quite surprised to learn that you are all apparently one-handed typists/teenage boys/sleazy 40+ pervs/men pretending to be women, and now also paedophiles. But in almost all that I've read on here over the past few months, I've found you regulars to be very polite, respectful and decent in the way you post.

Not sure if my opinion means much on MN generally, i'm not the typical poster, what with me being a woman who likes sex, doesn't much like children, doesn't hate men and doesn't blame every man for things that one bad person has done to her in the past. Just wanted to say please don't go, don't abandon ship. (Did Jude really go? She talked a lot of sense. I hope she comes back soon)

Hope MNHQ see sense soon and take it off Active so it can go back to how it was before.

I’m gonna regret googling anal hooks aren’t I?

Or not…I just get actual coat/bag hooks

One of my key struggles with MN is that it seems you have to hate men, hate sex, and hate anyone who doesn't! It is laughable to think people are getting their rocks off here when there are a million other, far more salacious ways they could be doing it. Everyone has the ability to ignore or delete, so why does it matter.

Pretty much

Update over on site stuff!

JustineMumsnet · Today 17:20

Hi everyone. Thanks for posting - and sorry for the delay in responding. We’ve been discussing the posts here and on the myriad of threads currently running about the Sex topic pretty much all day.

Cards on the table - we put the Sex topic into Active a few weeks ago and we should have given people the heads up, so they could hide the topic in advance. Since then there has been a huge amount of feedback - most of it negative. Perhaps we’ve been naive in underestimating the impact and potential unintended consequences - to be honest we’d meant for the topic to go into active when we introduced the ‘hide topic’ feature a while back - it was an oversight that we didn’t. Then roughly a year ago we changed the time from registration from 90 days to 7 - we believe this is a sufficient delay to deter trolls and, since this change, we’ve not noticed any increase in trolling on the topic. But we accept there could be a wider knock-on consequence here with the overall tone on the boards and it’s something we’re monitoring closely.

Our primary motivation for putting Sex in Active was, as it always is in these cases, to increase visibility to this part of the site for those who need advice. We know that the sex chat threads have been referenced a lot but the majority of threads on the topic are discussing things we know are important and relevant to a significant percentage of MNers - such as post-partum sex, erectile dysfunction, and lack of sex drive. We wanted people to be able to find these threads and, hopefully, find some useful advice and support. It was never our intention to ‘sex up Mumsnet’ - we believe that sex is a pretty regular part of life and hence threads involving sex have always been posted across the boards.

We certainly acknowledge that the sex chat threads are divisive but we cannot see any evidence that it’s driving more male users to join - as far as we can see the men on the sex board are regulars who’ve been using this forum for some time, it’s just their presence is more visible.

Of course the last thing we want is to encourage a load of sex pests onto Mumsnet and I can promise you that we are monitoring this very closely and will of course have a re-think if we see any evidence of it. We’ve also pinned a notice to the top of the topic asking users not to send unwanted PMs. We’ll ban anyone who does.

The thread referenced in the OP was deleted this morning. We had several reports from posters who said they regret posting and it was clearly making a lot of people very uncomfortable so we took it down.

Please do keep letting us know if you have any particular concerns - I can promise you that every report and every post on Site Stuff is read and carefully considered.

Seems like a win for common sense!

Good to hear!

Although I still agree with the sex thread not being in active, as its clear that the vast majority of people on both sides of the arguement don't want it there.

@Thisismysexforumname yep, I thought that too!

So in spite of all the negative feedback, they won't take it off Active, they won't change from 7 days back to 90 days, nothing about the inappropriate adverts, or the deal with Anne Summers.

So what exactly are we celebrating?

Yes I agree it needs to be removed from Active. But its positive the sex chat thread is still allowed (for now). I genuinely thought that might go. 😈

Hopefully peace and tranquility shall return to this corner of Mumsnet soon! I’m very sad about how the nastiness towards @Surplus2requirements was tolerated on the other thread.

The freedom of speech and democracy within the mumsnet guidelines

@justcallmebozo besides can we be sure it's the majority or not?

I'm surprised there's no limit or warnings for people on the number of their posts that get deleted before they are banned. When MN are deleting like 10 posts a day from someone is there not a point where they actually get banned? Or are they happy for that person to continually post things that are not with TG...

I really hoped the board was going to be removed from active.

Who is going to post anything they feel vulnerable about with the risk of half a dozen replies of Eeeeuuugh!!!

Yes exactly.
Here's to hoping they get bored (wishful thinking!!)
My "favourite" troll has hit an all time low this evening and made me really sad. But clearly I'm overreacting as I've reported it and her vile comment is still there and nobody else seems bothered by it...

Anyway
Anal hooks! That's a new one for me! 🙊

Hopefully the ick response will end now since Mumsnet HQ have spelled out their stance so clearly.

I can relate to the sadness, that moment you realise they don't care about anything but their hate triumphing and will trample over anything, including their own sense of decency to get there.

On the forum I moderate I tend to leave vile comments as far as possible so at least others can see what they're like so maybe it's not for nothing.

Thats true. I think it's just me being overly sensitive tbh. It wasn't personal but it hit a nerve.

@HornyBee similar here, I'm a bit on edge for others reasons and a bit of tit for tat can hit harder than it normally would.

I just wish people could talk and listen with the aim of understanding but many just want to win whatever the cost.

It probably doesn't matter much

@HornyBee
@Surplus2requirements
I want to send hugs to you both, you’ve both had a rough time from this. 💗

I understand your perspective, but if I remember correctly back in the day when they first created the sex board, there were many pearl clutches, back then saying why we even needed the board as I remember saucy topics usually were in a mix of chat, and aibu etc, so with that regards it seems some cannot win,

Exactly how i feel @Surplus2requirements
If it's left in Active, it's not going to get back to the nice calm polite place it used to be. Because ever time any of the ranty man/sex haters get a bit bored, or feel in the mood for a bit of an scrap, this is the place they'll come to.

I kinda get why some are so resistant to this board, god knows there's enough abusive men in the world but I've always felt this to be a place where women and men could both talk from a vulnerable place without fear of judgement.

I don't know of anywhere like it