To the regular posters on the Sex topic threads

[justcallmebozo]

I don't post much on forums, bit of a lurker. (lurker?? - probably could have found a better word to use on a sex thread!!)

Quite surprised to learn that you are all apparently one-handed typists/teenage boys/sleazy 40+ pervs/men pretending to be women, and now also paedophiles. But in almost all that I've read on here over the past few months, I've found you regulars to be very polite, respectful and decent in the way you post.

Not sure if my opinion means much on MN generally, i'm not the typical poster, what with me being a woman who likes sex, doesn't much like children, doesn't hate men and doesn't blame every man for things that one bad person has done to her in the past. Just wanted to say please don't go, don't abandon ship. (Did Jude really go? She talked a lot of sense. I hope she comes back soon)

Hope MNHQ see sense soon and take it off Active so it can go back to how it was before.

That's a fair point, I love mumsnet due to the varied topics and unlike facebook not full of bots jamming the convos ect

Hi all. Sorry for radio silence. As others have said, it was all getting a bit much yesterday. I've swung between being highly amused at the lunacy of some posters to feeling really down about the judgement.

@HornyBee, @Surplus2requirements and others have taken a real battering. I hope you guys are ok. ❤️

Interesting response from Justine. Whilst it's encouraging that she supports the freedom to have threads about sex, I wish they'd taken action to resolve the issue. I share concerns that the "eeewww... gross!" crowd will continue to make life difficult for people who genuinely want support and advice.

I do think we can help to avoid arguments though by being mindful about the language we use and the tone of threads. The pussy pump thread yesterday was awful timing. Although from a regular poster, it looked like a blatant request for wank fodder. I think we need to tread carefully for the foreseeable future...

I'm good 🙂 Wasn't any personal attack. And I chose to engage with the enemy. I try to walk away but then I just cant help it 🙈

People don't understand what a nice, non judgemental, friendly place this was. They genuinely can't accept that's how this board used to be. Or that women use it! It's a shame they can't get their heads around it. They just have the mindset of sex talk=perverts.
Another reason I liked this board was the lack of dumb ass, mindless comments made by people who have nothing to actually add or any interest in the actual thread, that I see on a lot of other boards.
But hey, maybe one day we'll get back to that again.

The thing I'm struggling with is the doubt at every new thread. Is it a troll seeking proof of pervy sleaze, an actual perv wanting a wank, or just an ordinary request for advice in a safe space?

These are thoughts I'd never even entertained before.

The good news is HQ has detected no uptick in predatory DMs.

The other unexpected effect of the changes in my view is an increase in threads I would ordinarily expect to be posted in Relationships but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I'm an occasional reader and contributor here, and have got some very useful advice here over the years. Just to say how well I thought the regulars here fought their corner.

Absolutely! Such a lovely bunch 💗

I don’t understand why sex chat had to be removed. Didn’t use it personally, no need to, but we are all (presumably) adults, and if they want to do cyber sex, then what’s the issue?

I can't help thinking all these troll posts that keep coming up on the sex board (one just now about sex dolls) are in response to MN saying they've not seen an increase in male users etc and basically the sex board hasn't been an issue.
This board used to get maybe 1 or 2 new posts a week. It was quiet.
And now the trolls are coming on and they can be all like 'oooh told you so- look what's its bringing in'. Dirty sex board perverts fault. It has always had trolls like the rest of the site but now it's so on show its the 'sex board' fault. We're even blamed for troll posts about sex popping up in other areas. (And one made by a genuine poster who they accused of being a paedophile!)

@HornyBee nicely said!

@HornyBee yep, it isn’t fair!

I'm guessing the image for public relations

@Soubriquet
@Hawkins003

is it the thread where people post their age and who they’re interested in chatting to? It’s still there

JustineMumsnet · Today 11:44

Hi again... Wow so this took off overnight! It's pretty clear from the strength of feeling and reaction to my post that this isn't so much about the actual affects of moving the Sex topic into Active, or the fact that individually you can avoid seeing it by hiding it, it's as much about tone and feel of the site. As such it seems to me there's no point us waiting for the data and so we'll remove Sex from active shortly.

One of the issues that we've got is that Active is very much the home page of Mumsnet for many - and as ComeTheFckOnBridget says lots of other sites do this differently.

When we launched follow topics last month, many users asked for a way to see a feed of the latest threads from the topics they're following - we're working on that feature at the moment and it will be ready to launch soon and I think over time it could be that Active then evolves to become more of an index and less of a landing page. But we'll see how the introduction of feed goes and what the take up is like before thinking about any further changes.

One thing that's been useful about this discussion is that it's made it clear we should formalise our guidelines on how we moderate the Sex board. As we've said, we have not, over the years, had any particular issues with this board (wrt to pervs, sex pests etc) but I agree we could communicate some clearer boundaries with regard to safeguarding and expected behaviour, so thanks to all who've mentioned that - we'll get on to asap.

Something I want to put on record is that this decision to move Sex threads into Active conversations had absolutely zilch to do with the Smilemakers partnership. There was no pressure put on us to make this move and at no point in any thinking about this did Smilemakers come up. Over the years we've literally turned down millions of pounds from brands because we've categorically refused to engage in disingenuous marketing and/or take money from those brands which don't make parents' lives easier - I think we've shown that we're pretty good at resisting commercial pressure.

Thanks as ever for the feedback and good weekends to all Flowers

I've just read an update from Justine which says that Sex is being removed from Active. I just want to add my thanks to @Surplus2requirements @Mermaidparades @HornyBee and others who have taken so much flack in recent days on behalf of all of us who are regular posters on the Sex Board. Clearly it's made all the difference and is hugely appreciated. Many, many thanks. 👍 😊

Good news it's being removed from active.

But they're still not happy over there and doubt they'll stop until the sex chat thread is removed.
I'm sure MN won't ever go as far as to remove the whole sex topic as some people are requesting!

It's a good result 🙂

Yes @HornyBee some seem to be really on a mission but hopefully this will take some of the wind out of their sails.

I don't see a problem with MN formalising mod guidelines and being clear about what isn't acceptable.

That's the puzzlement, how can you have a parenting based forum but not allow the very topic that enabled the people to become parents

*one of the main ways that enable people to become parents

I’m so glad, being on Active wasn’t working for anyone.

'They' have been grumbling and complaining about the very existence of the sex board for years, regarding it as a haven for herberts. I'm pretty sure they'll be distracted by something else pretty soon.

Question for anyone: what was that about a deleted thread?

Result. Well done everyone for your patience and determination in not letting all this getting you down.

I am very proud of you all 😘😘😘

There's been a few but the oddest decision I've seen is moving a thread called Kink, asking advice of how to humiliated her partner (who likes that) into 30 Days Only.

Stated they're both married to other partners so the results are a little predictable

Result. Well done everyone for your patience and determination in not letting all this getting you down.
I am very proud of you all 😘😘😘

@Rieslinger just when I thought I had my praise kink under control ffs! 😜

I've just seen the update. Now it's time to celebrate!

But I've also just seen all the posts about wanting Sex Chat removed. It's not my thing, but i'd absolutely defend others' right to use it without being attacked.
I'm guessing if MN were going to delete it they would have included that in this morning's update?

I will add to my comment yesterday to say that the regulars didn't just fight their corner well, they stuck to the point with considerable restraint (or should that be restraints?) in the face of some severe provocation.

The anti-sex crew didn't get one single result that the regulars here didn't also want. You guys really showed them up.