To become a 'sex worker'?

[HazelnutAfterDark]

I know it is not AIBU here but I daren't post there (and name changed obvs)

Let me explain:

I have been single and no sex for about 4 years now. This is by choice. I've had a terrible heartbreak when I having a fling with a guy I was highly interested in and he showed the same level of interest back...until he didn't anymore...and out of the blue, with little explanation, we were done. He tried to come back, but I couldn't trust.

This left me scarred, maybe because how the break up happened - he literally changed gears without warning or red flags - and also how I perceived all the good moments to have been fake. But overall it was pretty awesome while it lasted.

Since then I have never met anyone comparable or that I could be attracted to and I tried everything. I took a break from OLD and stopped caring about meeting men casually and naturally.

Thing is: I love sex and I am good at it. But I don't like to masturbate, it isn't the same as enjoying another body, but I do it from time to time. I climax easily but it is underwhelming.

I'm heterosexual and always preferred monogamy too. I have no curiosity about anything else but... there is something that has been part of my fantasies since a very young age which is... to get paid (either cash or gifts) in exchange of sex. It turns me on for some reason. And I acted upon it only once when I was very young, with a guy slightly older than me, who were fascinated by me - he knew exactly what the T&Cs were and this was his only chance to have sex with me - he gave me money to buy a pair of shoes I wanted - telling him what I wanted and how much it cost, was part of the whole fantasy for me. I felt pretty awesome and don't regret a tiny bit but never did it again.

Later on I had a situationship with a guy who would take me to restaurants, hotels, little trips and give me lots of gifts. I liked it but the things he gave me were not my choice so it wasn't very exciting. I kept going because I liked sex with him and he was attractive / interesting.

At the moment, I would not be able to entertain a relationship or a partner - I'm working hard, studying hard and facing some challenges with my child (their health) - so ideally I want to have casual encounters, drama free and fun only when I can, when I need and when I want...and I am thinking, why not throw my kink and fantasies in the mix? Obviously I will have a choice to choose the men i'm willing to play with, whereas a real sex worker might not have that luxury.

It is also because I want to have real sex rather than masturbate only, but the causal ONS with random men will not satisfy me or be "worth it" in my mind at the moment.

I believe sex if healthy for the body and the mind and will open me up, even maybe to try real romance in the future.

For the record, I'm financially fine and support myself with normal work. This would be more for the excitement rather than money. Especially since I have not been able to get excited or interested in men via the normal 'route.'
I have been married twice and both times for the right reasons. The first divorce left me with only with half of our joint savings and the second divorce with absolutely nothing. First guy was on my financial level and second guy below my financial level, so I did not marry for money and I never would. I'm not a gold digger.

Don't be nasty please. I understand this idea will not be okay or match some people's values. And I don't know what my question is, maybe just curious to see ion someone 'gets' it, or has similar inclination, or is doing it?

Not really about relationships really, more about sex, maybe get it transferred into the sex topic before the pearl clutching starts.

Obviously I will have a choice to choose the men i'm willing to play with, whereas a real sex worker might not have that luxury

What would make you not a real sex worker? You might get to ‘choose’ but you are still just as at risk of being raped and murdered as the rest of them. There’s also the risk word could get around and affect your child’s life or your real job. It’s a shit idea OP.

I would be looking for a friends with benefits kind of arrangement much less risky.

Visit sex/swinger clubs

Visit sex clubs

This is a bad idea. Men who visit sex workers are not good people. Why put yourself in a potentially risky situation? It makes no sense and you have a child to think about.

Try fab swingers and feeld

i get that it’s a kink but it’s a potentially risky one !

can’t you find a like minded FWB instead

I’d be scared of the danger side of it.

I actually understand where you’re coming from I once got paid by a handsome trainee doctor and enjoyed every minute of it. But it was a one off. How would you keep yourself safe from crazies….especially as you have a child who depends on you.

true

in my mind it would be more like a FWB situation with someone vetted, but I appreciate the odds of finding such man / men

If you could find that situation then I’d say fair enough. But it doesn’t sound very realistic to be honest, not in a safe way. Guess it depends who you no!

for some reason, this gives me the ewwww

I don’t want it to be a ‘social’ occasion nor I’m interested in couples, groups etc

I have absolutely no problem with anyone getting paid for sex as long as it was completely their choice and not because of a pimp,drug addiction or to be able to eat etc.As long as you can insure your safety and it doesn't affect your child,why shouldn't you.

You would be a “real” sex worker. You would not hold the power here.

How do you plan to “vet” clients?

Sex work is a customer service position. You’re paid to fulfil the requirements and needs of the man hiring you and the likelihood of obtaining regular enjoyment out of it to meet your own needs is slim. Think of it akin to liking fashion and being a retail assistant in a clothing shop: the crossover is minimal at best.

Find yourself a friend with benefits and agree that it’s “just sex” with little else required.

You don’t have to participate in a group setting it can be 1-1. Try joining fab swingers site a good place to meet guys just for sex. I used it for years and had a great time.

same way people do with dates, prospective boyfriends?

The types of men who feel entitled enough to women's bodies to pay for access are not the type of men who would give two shiny shits about that woman's safety, health, or enjoyment.

This.

Delusional. With all due respect you’ve already been divorced twice, have a child with health issues and don’t need the money. You need to examine what gives you a thrill about being paid for sex. Oh and focus on your child.

just sex would be easy for me to find

I guess what I have in mind in nearly impossible - although I experienced it twice years ago

They take a risk and try and trust them mostly. That’s a surprisingly naive response from you. Chatting to someone won’t tell you if theyl attack or rob you will it?

I have to disagree with you there!
yes granted, there are a few unsavoury characters, you can’t say they’re all bad people

100%

Case settled

I don't see why it would be a problem, but if it was me I'd be worried about people finding out, I guess it depends how bothered you are about that.

as others say there are plenty of other options but it seems that your kink is the getting paid for it part

You can’t really suggest that only a few of them are bad either. The good ones, will be rare and very hard to find, not necessarily be into OPs arrangement of doing things either.