To become a 'sex worker'?

[HazelnutAfterDark]

I know it is not AIBU here but I daren't post there (and name changed obvs)

Let me explain:

I have been single and no sex for about 4 years now. This is by choice. I've had a terrible heartbreak when I having a fling with a guy I was highly interested in and he showed the same level of interest back...until he didn't anymore...and out of the blue, with little explanation, we were done. He tried to come back, but I couldn't trust.

This left me scarred, maybe because how the break up happened - he literally changed gears without warning or red flags - and also how I perceived all the good moments to have been fake. But overall it was pretty awesome while it lasted.

Since then I have never met anyone comparable or that I could be attracted to and I tried everything. I took a break from OLD and stopped caring about meeting men casually and naturally.

Thing is: I love sex and I am good at it. But I don't like to masturbate, it isn't the same as enjoying another body, but I do it from time to time. I climax easily but it is underwhelming.

I'm heterosexual and always preferred monogamy too. I have no curiosity about anything else but... there is something that has been part of my fantasies since a very young age which is... to get paid (either cash or gifts) in exchange of sex. It turns me on for some reason. And I acted upon it only once when I was very young, with a guy slightly older than me, who were fascinated by me - he knew exactly what the T&Cs were and this was his only chance to have sex with me - he gave me money to buy a pair of shoes I wanted - telling him what I wanted and how much it cost, was part of the whole fantasy for me. I felt pretty awesome and don't regret a tiny bit but never did it again.

Later on I had a situationship with a guy who would take me to restaurants, hotels, little trips and give me lots of gifts. I liked it but the things he gave me were not my choice so it wasn't very exciting. I kept going because I liked sex with him and he was attractive / interesting.

At the moment, I would not be able to entertain a relationship or a partner - I'm working hard, studying hard and facing some challenges with my child (their health) - so ideally I want to have casual encounters, drama free and fun only when I can, when I need and when I want...and I am thinking, why not throw my kink and fantasies in the mix? Obviously I will have a choice to choose the men i'm willing to play with, whereas a real sex worker might not have that luxury.

It is also because I want to have real sex rather than masturbate only, but the causal ONS with random men will not satisfy me or be "worth it" in my mind at the moment.

I believe sex if healthy for the body and the mind and will open me up, even maybe to try real romance in the future.

For the record, I'm financially fine and support myself with normal work. This would be more for the excitement rather than money. Especially since I have not been able to get excited or interested in men via the normal 'route.'
I have been married twice and both times for the right reasons. The first divorce left me with only with half of our joint savings and the second divorce with absolutely nothing. First guy was on my financial level and second guy below my financial level, so I did not marry for money and I never would. I'm not a gold digger.

Don't be nasty please. I understand this idea will not be okay or match some people's values. And I don't know what my question is, maybe just curious to see ion someone 'gets' it, or has similar inclination, or is doing it?

The type of men that pay are usually dirty, smelly and disrespectful. Have a read up of sex worker experiences.

Are there registered escort agencies you could sign up to? Might be safer? Your list of requirements is long here - you have to find someone who you find attractive, who also finds you attractive, and you have to get along but not well enough for it to be an actual relationship and he has to be willing to pay you. Good luck.

I know and I have an enough of an open mind to agree with arguments that are opposite of my ideas when they are sensible and make me consider other angles

No they are not

lol true

and I’m studying but the money is not to put me through college either

my course is all already paid for by my employer, so no worries on that front

If you think you have been scarred by a bad break-up, lets see what words you use when instead of being paid for sex you want to have, you are treated like a sub-human fuck-toy by a man who, because he is paying, behaves as if he owns you (and he's not careful about his possessions).

Your OP reads like a tacky magazine article ('Readers' Wives'?) and has a completely unrealistic view. 'Vet' your clients? Yeah, because men who use (and 'use' is exactly what they do) women in this way NEVER lie and present a benign public face, dearie-me, no, never! Prostituted women (sex worker is such a sanitised euphemism) have similar levels of PTSD to soldiers who have experienced combat. For good reason.

This, totally. I know OP has leapt to the conclusion I’m against her plan on moral grounds, it’s actually because she clearly has baggage and is indulging in a fantasy which will not alleviate that suffering, but more than likely make it much worse.

what career?

I already have a career

you clearly didn’t read or understand my OP properly

”phisically I have what it takes” meaning: I’m not sugar baby age anymore but when I was I had plenty of opportunities - just didn’t choose them. I was much more romantic. Now that I’m older I’m still attractive it seems like, or so I’m told.

There was a thread on here some months ago by a sex worker telling how it really is and it was horrible to read.
Imagine the poor women forced into doing that, why would you put yourself at risk voluntarily?

Having opportunities for sex work isn't flattering. Men choose young, insecure women who are easily influenced - not the most beautiful.

And that’s the big difference

No pearls here.

Your proposition is a risky way to get what you want: STIs, violence, the person who pays the piper calls the tune (which might be a tune you do not like), nasty smelly misfits, breaking up marriages etc. etc. ........

Breaking up marriages ?

ok then

am I saying I will stand in a dodge corner wearing high heels, red lipstick hoping any man would stop and pick me up?

if you can’t see the difference by the scenario above and what I have in mind is okay, no worries, no explanation will fix it, and it is fair enough

I think some things are best kept as a fantasy to be honest. Especially when you have a child that would be very badly affected if you were beaten up/killed. You say you'd vet them the way people going on dates vet people - but they do that by meeting in a public place and having a meal or whatever - you don't want that though so I'm still not clear on how you are vetting them.

I don’t know and I wouldn’t sign up to - not private enough

I guess I’m asking for the impossible. It will probably remain a fantasy as practically not fisible.

But you understood well what I’m looking for and thank you for that

Maybe you should see about being a dominatrix? And tell the punters they have to bring you a specific gift . You would be in control then ?

nope, not into that kind of thing either

What a demeaning description of women who are paid for sex. Whether you see yourself as a more high class version or not OP, he’s still shagging you for money - and to him it will likely be not that much money comparatively, small change to a man of the kind you are looking. You cling to the idea you are in control because you pick the guy (although presumably picking from a very niche pool, those looking for an older woman who has had a child vs a 19 year old beauty) but the reality is the buyer controls whether it happens or not.

I was thinking that. Maybe through fetlife. Encourage gifts and presents rather than being employed...

Hi Op

I totally agree with other posters thoughts on this 💡 idea,

It's a shit idea really, essentially/mainly cause of the safety aspect,

I also wonder the potential aspect , could have affect even more so your attitude to relantships and love ❤️ too ect,

I don't think you have really thought this through,

It's envitable that doing this line of work. Will mean having to do the Deed, with someone you wouldn't normally find even slightest acctractive,
Also how many men would you have to satisfy who would have appalling B.O, or Halitosis (bad breath,) problem,
Or
Sooner or later having to deal with men who have some real weird Kinks about then ,and you have to play along with them, be like bloody actress ?

I think if you signed up to fetlife you would find plenty of men with a financial domination kink which would fulfil this for you.

I give up on the thread you all, the OP was clearly bad written or some of you refuse to understand

BTW it is not supposed to be work

Enjoy the duscussion if you decide to go ahead

Can't you get one of those sugar daddy type set ups where he likes being told to buy you stuff and sends you money? Apparently some people are into that.

Wouldn't any of these sites be of use?

(I only typed 'sugar daddy sites' into Google. I have no insight into this topic!)

Good luck OP, I hope you can find what you're after.