AMA Swingers clubs.

[MrsBerthaRochester]

Anything you ever wanted to know about Swingers clubs/parties but were afraid to ask? And yes I know there is an mn Sex topic but its full of hairy handed trolls.

I was asked the question. That was my answer.

We didn't start going to clubs to develop her body confidence but it happened as a byproduct of going to clubs.

@GentlemanJayFab

Please remember we didn't swing.

The confidence I referred to was body confidence.

When you are surrounded by semi naked people of all shapes and sizes you begin to realise that it doesn't matter that you are not a size 8.

I can relate to this.

The idea of being naked in public was initially mortifying. However, standing at the bar in nothing but my heels and discussing with another woman which gin cocktail to try was incredibly liberating. I went from being self-conscious to being very confident in my own skin.

You quickly realise that we're all different shapes and sizes but that all bodies are beautiful.

Exactly this.

Personally as I like stripping off it's very liberating for me too.

@GentlemanJayFab

Please remember we didn't swing.

The confidence I referred to was body confidence.

When you are surrounded by semi naked people of all shapes and sizes you begin to realise that it doesn't matter that you are not a size 8.

Ok, it seems I’m not quite with it on terminology, i thought swinging also covered having sex in-front of others, whilst people watched.

I only ask because I’ve always struggled massively with body confidence, even though I’m slim myself. It’s something I wish I could change but struggle to.

Playing in front of others. Enjoying being watched. If you want to call it swinging that's ok by me.

We never swapped or played with others though.

One thing I've found about "swingers" they are all looking for different variations of "swinging". I don't think I've ever met two couple the same.

Thanks for replying @GentlemanJayFab.

This is a question for anyone that swings. If swingers swap partners, how do you cope with feelings of jealously, what if they’re more attractive than your partner, better chemistry etc?
Do you have rules about only playing with certain swingers?

I know couples that swing.

Their relationship with each other is different so they are able to involve others without getting jealous.

There are rules that must be adhered to and a complete trust that they do not contact independently a person who they agree to engage with.

Some people would not entertain the thought of their partner going with another and would see it as a betrayal but for swingers it's different. Maybe it excites them ...

@SparklingStars10

Thanks for replying *@GentlemanJayFab*.

This is a question for anyone that swings. If swingers swap partners, how do you cope with feelings of jealously, what if they’re more attractive than your partner, better chemistry etc?
Do you have rules about only playing with certain swingers?

Most swingers have rules they stick to. Some will only meet with others once so as to avoid "attachment".

Feelings can become tangled. I am not saying it's easy. I've seen all sorts of things go wrong.

I've seen lots of couples falling out in clubs, including some friends I know.

It's a bit of a minefield but if you navigate it with care it can be done.

@lmnoh

I know couples that swing. Their relationship with each other is different so they are able to involve others without getting jealous.

There are rules that must be adhered to and a complete trust that they do not contact independently a person who they agree to engage with.

Some people would not entertain the thought of their partner going with another and would see it as a betrayal but for swingers it's different. Maybe it excites them ...

Yes I do wonder how some people are able to push those feelings aside, whereas others can’t. It sounds like rules are quite an important part of swinging which makes sense.

@GentlemanJayFab

That’s makes sense really, I guess if both parties stick to the rules, it’s more likely to prevent any problems.

What sort of things do people fall out over at the clubs?

[quote SparklingStars10]@GentlemanJayFab

That’s makes sense really, I guess if both parties stick to the rules, it’s more likely to prevent any problems.

What sort of things do people fall out over at the clubs?[/quote]
One part of the couple not sticking to their rules. One part of the couple feeling left out.

Too much alcohol is often involved. Lol.

@SparklingStars10

Thanks for replying *@GentlemanJayFab*.

This is a question for anyone that swings. If swingers swap partners, how do you cope with feelings of jealously, what if they’re more attractive than your partner, better chemistry etc?
Do you have rules about only playing with certain swingers?

Open and honest communication is crucial, as are clearly defined boundaries.

DP and I met on a swingers site so were able to have those very blunt conversations from the start. We agreed to be each others' primary partner so we always put our relationship ahead of any other. We started playing at parties but only with each other. Then we moved on to soft swap then hard swap, but always in sight of each other.

I'm a bit of a masochist but DP isn't particularly sadistic, so we had lots of conversations about "outsourcing" that need. We met a guy through our circle of friends and, having established some rules, I would pay him a visit on my own. Sometimes DP was interested in what I'd done, other times he didn't want to hear.

We've been to workshops about insecurity and jealousy. We recognise that it comes from a place of fear, of losing each other. But he's not "mine", I don't own him or control him. I can't hold onto him if he really wants to leave. And vice versa.

It helps that we can separate physical attraction from love. I can fancy the arse of a guy and want to shag him, that doesn't mean I want to leave DP or that I love him any less.

Equally, he might tell me he fancies a woman 20 years younger than me. The thought enters my mind that she's slimmer, prettier, but I can dismiss it as just that - a thought. Just because I think it, doesn't make it true. I know he loves me for all the things I am, not just how I look. So I'm very secure in our relationship.

And there's almost an implied security in having an open relationship. We don't cheat, there's no need to, we just ask for permission. That said, we don't always have our cake and eat it... sometimes we say no!

[quote SparklingStars10]@GentlemanJayFab

That’s makes sense really, I guess if both parties stick to the rules, it’s more likely to prevent any problems.

What sort of things do people fall out over at the clubs?[/quote]
We had an argument at a party last year. I was having fun. DP was tired and not feeling it. He felt like a spare part and wanted to leave. We left. I huffed a lot in the taxi. He made it up to me back at the hotel... 😂

Thanks both @PinotPony and @GentlemanJayFab, I feel enlightened now 😂

One more question, is you don’t mind, do men sometimes get performance anxiety, if they’re being watched?

@SparklingStars10

Thanks both *@PinotPony and @GentlemanJayFab*, I feel enlightened now 😂

One more question, is you don’t mind, do men sometimes get performance anxiety, if they’re being watched?

I guess so. It can happen in any situation at all ages I would think. Never really thought about it or noticed.

One thing to bare in mind. Not all people have sex in open rooms where people watch. Some prefer to get a private room. A lot of people prefer private over open rooms.

If you're concerned about things a private room may be better.

Some people go to clubs and never play with anyone else apart from their own partners.

@SparklingStars10

Thanks both *@PinotPony and @GentlemanJayFab*, I feel enlightened now 😂

One more question, is you don’t mind, do men sometimes get performance anxiety, if they’re being watched?

Yes, that happens. At Ministry of Sound it was a standing joke... "25 years ago people were asking me for Ecstasy, now it's Viagra they want!" 😂

We attended a party with some newbie friends and the guy was just completely overwhelmed with all the sights and sounds. In the end, I politely handed him back to his girlfriend and they went to find a more quiet, secluded area to play together.

such an interesting thread , I have spoken to a lady who runs a swingers club over the weekend and found it fascinating although terrifying

I was on FAB for a while. One of my pics - in which I was fully dressed - made it to the top spot!
I didn't meet up with anyone for sex, but loved the chat forum. I've never been to a sex club, but from what I read on the FAB chat, some of you have the wrong idea about them. I got the impression that they're respectful, super friendly places.
A question for the OP:

• do most men cum when they have sex there? I assume they might need some assistance from pills if they want to go at it again.

Pills....

Why?

(male here)

To get it up again, especially if they're a certain age ...

Depends on the man. Some practise edging. Some need a blue pill from the outset. I suspect if they struggle with erections in the first place, they're less likely to decide to go swinging.

Some single men don't have sex with anyone. Some men in couples only play with their partners and not others.

Some men will have sex a few times. Some not at all. If you get there at 9 and leave at 2 there's plenty of time to "recharge your batteries".