Do the men try to make themselves as attractive as possible
Well, some of them are working from a limited starting point. It takes more than a shower and a shave to turn a beer belly into a six-pack. Mostly they have scrubbed up as well as they can, and you can assume basic hygiene, clean teeth and so on (at least in my experience,) and they will have shaved/trimmed everywhere they want attention... There's a good range of men; some are well fit. Others aren't. Same with the women, everything from stick thin to obese. However, as an overall average, women look better than men, even if you don't wear make-up. This probably fits in with your prejudices - and also with online dating, where the number of really shit profile pictures astounds me. It's not like you have to wait a week for your photos to come back from Boots these days - you can instantly see that it's blurred and missing the top of your head, and yet many men still seem to think this is a good enough photo to promote their datability...
and can you rely on them doing their best to pleasure the women they have sex with?
Again, like the rest if life, depends on the man. Some are very good, and some just want a blow job with nothing in return - which is pretty much like picking up a man in a bar, or meeting a friend of a friend, or through OLD. If you spend some time talking to people beforehand, you're more likely to work out which are going to give rather than take. I don't know why men don't realise that they're much more likely to have a great time if they focus on giving pleasure. Does make me wonder if some women go in the hope of getting decent sex for once...