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Original poster

Going to my first swingers party in 3 weeks

137 replies

areyouhavingagiraffe · 03/02/2022 15:03

Hi all, Yup, so as the subject line ways, heading to my first "party" in a few weeks. As a single woman. Think there will be about 50 people there, couples, and some singles. Have wanted to try this for a while, but am very nervous. Have paid for my hotel accommodation already (it is in another City) so that way I don't chicken out.
Have any of you been to anything like this? It is through the FAB site, which I have seen posts of on MN

OP posts:

AverageGuy · 10/03/2022 08:38

@millytint44 - firstly, single ladies are always welcome at any kind of swingers events! Quite a few clubs allow them in free or for a very small fee. If you are at all bi, then the worlds your lobster!

I'm not in the North East unfortunately, so can't give any personal recommendations, but there are quite a few clubs in that area. I'd suggest looking at Fabswingers, which details six clubs, and has some reviews. It's also a good place to find out about local social & swinger events.

As for looks, beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Original poster

areyouhavingagiraffe · 10/03/2022 08:58

@millytint44 Hello! I would echo @AverageGuy. Join Fab. I have been on there for a few years (joined just before covid) so have been browsing events ever since lockdown ended / inbetween lockdowns (whenever that was). I'm 44, so similar age to yourself. Anyway, been procrastinating for ages and I think it is just about finding the people that sound right for you. I have had loads of invites to things but some of them sound like a f**kfest. I like the concept of the night starting out like any other night out, people in a bar mingling, and then....well you can guess what happens. How it happens, I don't know. I sort of blinked, and then I was on a big bed, having a wonderful time, ha ha ha
I am on the look out for the next event now!

OP posts:

Explorer233 · 10/03/2022 12:27

@areyouhavingagiraffe
I m also on Fab very recently and was able to contact the person who runs one of the local clubs very helpful .
I m also chatting to a few women that I may have a social meet with . It’s a bit of an eye opener not for the faint hearted 😂

Fruititty · 10/03/2022 16:42

If a single lady went along and didn't want to actually join with the sex or just wanted to take part in a little bit of touching for example, would that be frowned on?
I am absolutely fascinated by the idea but when it came down to it I may not be all in, if you see what I mean.

GentlemanJayFab · 10/03/2022 18:35

[quote areyouhavingagiraffe]**@millytint44* Hello! I would echo @AverageGuy. Join Fab. I have been on there for a few years (joined just before covid) so have been browsing events ever since lockdown ended / inbetween lockdowns (whenever that was). I'm 44, so similar age to yourself. Anyway, been procrastinating for ages and I think it is just about finding the people that sound right for you. I have had loads of invites to things but some of them sound like a f*kfest. I like the concept of the night starting out like any other night out, people in a bar mingling, and then....well you can guess what happens. How it happens, I don't know. I sort of blinked, and then I was on a big bed, having a wonderful time, ha ha ha
I am on the look out for the next event now![/quote]
I am going to a Fab social this weekend. It will be just like any other night in a pub but with this you can go up to talk to people who are also there to meet people. You can swap numbers, usernames.

Some go back to a hotel after. Some will be going onto the two clubs that are in town.

It's a really great night.

MrsBerthaRochester · 10/03/2022 18:39

To answer one of the questions yes you can go and not go the "full way" so to speak but as a single woman you should be aware that you will be followed around and possibly touched without asking.
I have only ever seen one guy thrown out for following folk about and being a nuisance. Single men who do this are known as the "wanking dead" and they will try and cop a feel if they can. As I said not glamourous.

Original poster

areyouhavingagiraffe · 10/03/2022 20:08

@Fruititty, I found there was absolutely no pressure to get involved. I hadn't planned to, but could help myself, ha ha
I think it depends on the event, type of people. I am sure there are some places which are hideous, but honestly from my limited experience, I left with a smile on my face. And a very sore bottom from all the glorious spanking

OP posts:

PinotPony · 10/03/2022 20:44

@Fruititty

If a single lady went along and didn't want to actually join with the sex or just wanted to take part in a little bit of touching for example, would that be frowned on? I am absolutely fascinated by the idea but when it came down to it I may not be all in, if you see what I mean.

Hey @Fruititty

At the parties I attend, there's absolutely no pressure to do anything at all. Some people stay fully clothed all evening, just chatting and watching others. I've been to parties on my period and still had a great time.

You just have to be clear when communicating what you want. "No, sorry, I'm not quite ready for that yet" is easy to say. Nobody would judge you or get arsey.

I've never been followed around by guys or touched in any way without consent. I'm conscious of guys looking at me but that's ok, I'm looking at them too! I feel safer at a KK party that I do in a conventional nightclub, where men just grope anything on the dance floor.

Fruititty · 10/03/2022 23:56

That is all very reassuring thank you xx

1forAll74 · 13/03/2022 04:32

They always make me laugh, when there have been tv documentaries about swingers clubs on,

GentlemanJayFab · 13/03/2022 10:29

@1forAll74

They always make me laugh, when there have been tv documentaries about swingers clubs on,

They don't show them in the best light. They pick up on all the bits people would find funny. You can get out of it what you want.

Jumpking · 13/03/2022 17:36

I'm loving hearing about all your experiences. I'm starting to think I might want to go be nosey and see what happens at one of these nights.

easylemonsqueezy · 13/03/2022 17:47

Grim
Urrghh sex parties...
Nope
Be clean x

MrsBerthaRochester · 13/03/2022 18:02

The swingers show that was on I think channel 4 last year? Was actually a good representation. An old granny forlornly hanging about in the hot tub.
They are grim and not sexy in the slightest.

Original poster

areyouhavingagiraffe · 13/03/2022 18:26

The party I went to was nothing like the channel 4 doc. No old grannies at all. Just beautiful sexy people, who looked great and were so much fun

OP posts:

easylemonsqueezy · 13/03/2022 18:57

@areyouhavingagiraffe

The party I went to was nothing like the channel 4 doc. No old grannies at all. Just beautiful sexy people, who looked great and were so much fun

You must have very low expectations bless you

easylemonsqueezy · 13/03/2022 18:57

@MrsBerthaRochester

The swingers show that was on I think channel 4 last year? Was actually a good representation. An old granny forlornly hanging about in the hot tub. They are grim and not sexy in the slightest.

Yep 👍

MrsBerthaRochester · 14/03/2022 08:38

The men that go to these clubs/parties will literally fuck anyone or anything. As a woman on Fab you can have no photos at all and you will get hundreds of messages a day from guys begging to meet you because you are just a hole. Any hole is the goal.

GentlemanJayFab · 14/03/2022 09:01

@MrsBerthaRochester

Not everyone but a lot yes.

MrsBerthaRochester · 14/03/2022 12:35

Yep everyone. Thats why so called "straight" men on there are meeting other guys or tvs. They dont care whose hole they fuck. So many think its basically a free hooker site.

GentlemanJayFab · 14/03/2022 13:13

@MrsBerthaRochester

Yep everyone. Thats why so called "straight" men on there are meeting other guys or tvs. They dont care whose hole they fuck. So many think its basically a free hooker site.

Well from my experience of clubs and parties, many men, women and couples are far more choosy than you are suggesting.

MrsBerthaRochester · 14/03/2022 13:44

Are you a guy? Because if you are and you are creeping about on this site posting in the sex topic....well tells me all I need to know really.

PinotPony · 14/03/2022 13:46

@MrsBerthaRochester

That's rather insulting to @GentlemanJayFab, @AverageGuy and my own DP. Yet again you are tarring "everyone" with the same brush based on your own bad experiences. Can you open your mind a smidgeon and accept that not "all" men who enjoy swinging are utter wankers?

If you have such a low opinion of the male population on FAB, one might question why you're on there. Is it just to insult people?

MrsBerthaRochester · 14/03/2022 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

AverageGuy · 14/03/2022 14:45

@MrsBerthaRochester

Quite frankly couldnt care less if Im insulting creeps hanging about on a womans forum. They can do one to Dadsnet.

Mumsnet - for parents by parents - it's not a women's only forum.

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