Going to my first swingers party in 3 weeks

[areyouhavingagiraffe]

Hi all, Yup, so as the subject line ways, heading to my first "party" in a few weeks. As a single woman. Think there will be about 50 people there, couples, and some singles. Have wanted to try this for a while, but am very nervous. Have paid for my hotel accommodation already (it is in another City) so that way I don't chicken out.
Have any of you been to anything like this? It is through the FAB site, which I have seen posts of on MN

Oh, and the hotel looks beautiful!

I went to one as a single female. I don't think swingers clubs are the place to start UNLESS you want to join a married couple and play with the woman as well. If that is what you want then ENJOY.

And as for all the absurd judgement from ignoramuses on here....
It's very discreet, respectful, no one touches you unless you allow it, and the place I went wasn't cramped or sweaty. It was clean, professional, relaxing.
I didn't personally join in, but I had an awesome time chatting to the proper characters there.
I use Fabswingers site to recruit Feb when I want them.
These clubs can be excellent for social life.

Sorry,recruit FWB not Feb

@PyongyangKipperbang

If its in Nuneaton (I used to work at the hotel they "played" at) then you will be in safe hands, they are very welcoming to newbies.

Is it true what people say about Nuneaton and Bedworth?

That everybody is related

Obviously you should always ask before touching anyone. "That looks fun. Mind if I join in?" Don't take it personally if you get a polite No or shake of the head. Just smile and move on.

Oh god I am cringing at the thought of receiving 'a polite no' in this situation, eeeeek!

@Hasselhoffsheadband

Obviously you should always ask before touching anyone. "That looks fun. Mind if I join in?" Don't take it personally if you get a polite No or shake of the head. Just smile and move on.

Oh god I am cringing at the thought of receiving 'a polite no' in this situation, eeeeek!

It's not so bad. 😂 You have to bear in mind that there are couples looking for couples, couples looking for women, couples looking for men, men looking for women, women looking for men, women looking for women, men looking for men... straight, bi-sexual, bi-curious, gay...

If someone politely declines, I just assume I'm not what they're looking for that night... 🤷🏻‍♀️

@burnthur5t

No idea :o I have never lived there, just worked there for 6 months before I moved to a different branch!

I went to an open swingers party. Just a social meet no action. I would recommend that first.

This was over a decade ago. I was still grossed out and left early.

May be a good idea to try that first rather than dive right in! Too many unattractive men for me.

Yes people keep referencing killing kittens on here. They are a membership only club and if you are above a certain dress size you wont be accepted.
Swingers clubs are NOT full of gym fit really attractive folk. They really are the cliche of middle age average or more likely over weight folk hanging about in not very many clothes. Its really not sexy.

Oh and I am middle aged and a bit chubby and I still considered myself way to attractive for the vast majority of men there.

@MrsBerthaRochester

Yes people keep referencing killing kittens on here. They are a membership only club and if you are above a certain dress size you wont be accepted. Swingers clubs are NOT full of gym fit really attractive folk. They really are the cliche of middle age average or more likely over weight folk hanging about in not very many clothes. Its really not sexy.

@MrsBerthaRochester I really wish you'd stop spreading misinformation about things you clearly know nothing about. KK absolutely does not have a dress size policy. However they do tend to refuse people who are judgmental of others...

There's so many different types of swinging and kink clubs available so, unless you've been to every type of event, you really can't make generalisations about what they're like.

Why don't you speak specifically about your own experience? Have you been to Skirt Club? Nights of St Francis? Crossbreed? Torture Garden? KlubVerboten? It sounds like you've possibly been to a grotty local club like the one profiled on Channel 5 a few years ago and that's what you're opinion is based upon. However that is not indicative of the majority of high end clubs.

@MrsBerthaRochester, well, I AM gym fit :-)

Unless it is a very upmarket club I think you will find an awful lot of pot bellied men. Yeugh.

Killing kittens DO reject folk based on weight/looks. Fact. No I havent been to every club. I have only been to three but at all three the vast majority of folk were middle aged and not attractive. So Im not spreading misinformation. Im giving information based on my experience.
The misinformation being spread is the idea the clubs are full of hotties and gorgeous guys. They are not. But its good wanking material for the men who should really be hanging about dadsnet.

Oh sorry I have been to four. I went to Torture garden when it was in Edinburgh. Full of posers.

Yes, some clubs do restrict membership based on age and looks, but that’s fine. There are plenty of clubs where membership is open to all regardless of age, size and looks where anyone can attend. And there are some clubs where people (women) who are younger and attractive want to feel relaxed and comfortable and be able to talk to and play with other younger and attractive people rather than have the uncomfortable experience they often get at non-restrictive clubs of having to constantly politely turn down older, unfit, paunchy men trying to get lucky with anything with a vagina.

Have to say, OP, I’ve been on scene for years and wouldn’t advise a woman make her first foray by way of being a single woman at a designated hotel sex party. I think you probably will end up with aforementioned experience of men you wouldn’t look twice at in any other context targeting you - albeit politely, as rules of the club insist, so they don’t get chucked out. You say you’ve booked already and I hope you have a great time; but if you don’t, it might be an idea to try again through club nights (IMG, XBreed, Antichrist, Pinky Promise, Fox and Badge - and if you’re gym fit, KV - which does restrict membership based on looks) which are for dancing and socialising but with the opportunity to go off and play with somebody or somebodies if you happen to take a fancy.

Have you been to Fox and Badge, @ComtesseDeSpair ? It was recommended by a friend and looks amazing! I'm quite keen to check it out.

I’ve been to F&B many times - Alex (and Sinead, though she no longer co-creates) are my friends and I generally know a good percentage of people at a party. Parties are always pretty great, real emphasis on the dress up and performances, the after party tends to be where things get more cosy and touchy.

Sinead now runs her own events under the name Fox Den: they’re smaller, more intimate, more woman-focussed events and play parties, I haven’t been but friends who have have said good things so also worth looking into if it’s your kind of thing.

@ComtesseDeSpair

I’ve been to F&B many times - Alex (and Sinead, though she no longer co-creates) are my friends and I generally know a good percentage of people at a party. Parties are always pretty great, real emphasis on the dress up and performances, the after party tends to be where things get more cosy and touchy.

Sinead now runs her own events under the name Fox Den: they’re smaller, more intimate, more woman-focussed events and play parties, I haven’t been but friends who have have said good things so also worth looking into if it’s your kind of thing.

Fabulous! Thanks, I'll give it a go. 😁

The vast majority of clubs in this country are NOT upmarket or exclusive. They are exactly like the one featured on the tv programme. Grim.

To be fair, not everyone is looking for upmarket or exclusive. The clubs Pinot and I have mentioned cater to a younger, more alternative crowd / particular demographic and lifestyle which isn’t everyone’s idea of a good time. Plenty of poly people are older and ordinary looks wise and interested in getting to know and explore with other older and ordinary people. They tend towards hotel parties and swingers clubs and as long as you’re going aware that the demographic and atmosphere and people are going to be what they are, it isn’t a problem. I doubt they’re all “grim.”

Ah ‘grim’. The mumsnet insult of choice.

What’s grim about consenting adults having sex?

I would estimate around 8 out of male adults over 50 do not wear well.

The thought of going with several pot bellied/bald/bearded men in my spare time of an evening and calling that fun just fills me with revulsion!

Still each to their own.

How exciting! I've been to clubs as a single and loved it! Feel free to PM me :)

There is nothing wrong with consenting adults having sex. Thats why Im on hook up sites. The grim was in reference to my experience of clubs. which were full of not very attractive men trying to have sex with as many far more attractive women as possible.
Im not knocking anyone who wants to go to a sex club or party,as I did. Im just pointing out to maybe not go with high expectations of the standard of men you will find there.