My boyfriend likes to be fuc*ked up the bum!

[liliboard]

So this is a long one.

And note, I'm deadly serious.

So me and my partner have been together for 11 years. His sex drive is waaaaay higher than mine. Which is cool. But my partner loves anal. And I don't mean my bum! He likes me to fuck him in the bum with, well, anything. Dildo, carrot, orange, my fist.
This all started within a year of our relationship. He admitted he liked some bum stuff and it's just evolved. At first I didn't mind and was interested in the new and exciting sex stuff we were doing. But as time has gone on I have hated it more and more. Dreaded it every time. It's like a chore. I really hate it. When he talks about wanting to 'suck my dick after I've fucked his arse' and 'i want your spunk up me' whilst we're in the moment just puts me off him completely. We've had countless arguments over it and I've just ended up basically saying 'i don't like it but I'll do it because you do'. But it's honestly making me find him less sexually attractive. And I feel it's completely ruining how I feel about him. We've talked loads about it and we even stopped doing it for a while which made me happy but him sad!! He says it's his way of release and takes away stress. And I get that. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot get away from feeling distant from him. I don't believe he is gay. We've got 2 kids together and are engaged (although yes , I know it can still happen) but I think he's maybe a little bit gay? Bi? I dunno.
Anyway. Any advice would be really appreciated and if anyone likes this stuff too , please, let me know!!!

OP he actually sound really manipulative. If he is talking about you cuming in him and wanting to suck the penis you don't actually have ad s woman, then I think he is probably gay.

What kind of an orange, are we talking satsumas or full sized orange you could fit into the cupped palms of your hand?

As an aside, be careful what you stick up his arse. toys have a flared base to stop them being whooshed up inside, and I would kill myself laughing hate it if your next post was about accompanying your DP to A and E to retrieve a rogue carrot.

The word a n a l was edited out of my link, is this a site wide thing?

Can you buy him an electric buttplugs or anal dodo to satisfy himself.

Then I would consider leaving him. He is using coercive control over you. Has he accomadated any of your fantasies.....or is it all about him?
Don't put up with abuse. He sounds bi to me.
Like somebody else said.....do you want to be dreading sex for the rest of your life ?

Hes gay, your his beard

Dont let him use you like this, great having some arse time but would a straight man go on about your dick? Spunk over him? LTB he isnt worth all this.

I bet you second you do leave you will find out hes now loud and proud, or when hes had enough of the lies, just dump your arse for some fellas.

In regards to the orange, next time once hes squeezed the juice let him drink it whilst you pack his stuff up send him on his merry way with a rainbow flag up his arse

Yes have chat with him
With freshly squeezed oranges juice and go from there I guess .... he is so sweet

This is sad

Sad that someone’s asking for help. Sad that the person has said the replies are upsetting her. Sad that people are carrying on teasing

Op you are engaging in sexual acts under pressure. He is not a nice man. Nobody normal wants their partner to do things sexually that they don't enjoy and under duress. I would leave him.

No idea whether this is real but here is how a healthy, respectful relationship works:

Person A: I don’t like doing this sex act
Person B: that’s fine

This is not how a healthy, respectful relationship works

Person A: I don’t like doing this sex act
Person B: we’re going to do it twice a week.
Person A: ok

I understand all the other things he provides, his role as a father, financial security but those don’t come at the price of your happiness.
Simply speaking, you need to tell him that your relationship is on the line here, he either stops getting you to do this or your relationship is over. Then you will find out if you really DO have the relationship you think you have.

Best of luck to you.

Sorry, didn’t mean to put ‘sex act’ in bold, I was trying to put it in inverted commas .

Oh dear

He likes to be dominated and I guess this is a dominant thing

Do you think he's been watching fetish porn? He's probably picked up some of the language he's been using from there if so.

Regardless, as many people have said, the real issue is he's making it all about what he wants and ignoring your wishes.

OP, has it occurred to you that he can stimulate his prostate himself?
You say he likes to be dominated but in reality having you service him when you have repeatedly said you do not like it is him dominating you.

If this is true ? I'm shocked you have been doing this for 11 years ??

If you significantly cut down on the bum sex or stop altogether this could mean he goes elsewhere for it. Possibly to a man or men...
I had an ex who was a great cook, lovely guy, good fun, fantastic dad, but we split due to sexual incompatibility. Nothing like this tho.
It’s actually self abuse if you do sexual stuff you do not want to do, even if it is within marriage and/or to make the other person happy.
Do you see yourself doing this at 50, 60 years old? How does it make you feel to know that to maintain a happy relationship with this man, you must do what makes you unhappy for the rest of your lives together? I’d be planning to leave him and stop the bum stuff at once cold turkey.
From what you’ve said he’s likely bisexual and uses you to fulfil his need for sex with both women and men, without really having sex with an actual man. Have no doubt this is what he is thinking about during the aforementioned activities. How can a biological woman spunk in him with her cock? And sucking ‘your cock’ after it’s been in his bum... just yuck 🤢 How can you kiss him even several days after that?! Even if he brushes his teeth after, you know what he’s done.
Really hope you don’t do any of this stuff you hate again - life’s too short and you’re worth more than that! X

*Fucaked. There is every chance, that cake is involved

Is that like Fucakke? Where a host of men cover your face with cake? I could be persuaded by that.*

That's it, I'm done

My ex h constantly pushed my boundaries sexually (and every other way). I love that my current DH is 100% vanilla.

I've been in a similar position and it completely changed the way I saw him. The relationship ended. I am not averse to experimenting but when it becomes the norm and your needs aren't being met it's not a good relationship.

He says he doesn't imagine that it's an actual penis , but what else would he call it?

So, following this trail of logic, what he actually means is "I want to suck your carrot"? I mean, I suppose it's possible, but I'd be a bit skeptical.

1. I don't care how nice he is. He is sexually abusing you OP. It is that bad. Stop doing sexual acts that you hate NOW.
2. There are some nasty childish people about. Bet you all sport 'get me the manager' haircuts. Just saying.

If he likes being dominated, have you tried going full dominatrix on him? Then you can tell him to shut up when he starts talking and command him to do what you want him to do.

Hi all, and thanks for the reports.
We've had a look behind the scenes and the OP has been on MN for ages. We're going to move this over to the sex topic area now.
Best wishes to you OP

I posted (seriously) up thread saying you're incompatible sexually. Now there have been updates.

You're still incompatible, but it's more disturbing that he knows you're not into it but is perfectly happy to have you doing it. Twice a week.

He does not have a right to sex!

You do have a right to sexual satisfaction. And while you think you aren't that fussed by sex, it would be interesting to see how much you remained uninterested if you had a man who gave you multiple orgasms twice a week and didn't grab your boobs and bum to "show" his attraction to you.

And really, if you told him you wanted multiple orgasms twice a week and to stop his bum sex, would he say Fine? I think not.

You are allowed to break up with somebody for any reason you want. You're also allowed to for no reason. If him going to a dominatrix isn't possible for you, then please stop placing your happiness so far below his that you can't even answer the question "where are you in all this"...

Your children btw won't be damaged if you break up. They will if their mother continues down the road of unhappiness because she's a sexual slave to their father.

Two threads down from this one on Active is a thread called " Ring thickness"
Sorry, but I howled.