Is bigger really better?

[Frankie20018]

Having a debate with my bf. He thinks all women prefer a man with a bigger penis (What qualifies him to know this I don't know) I personally don't think it matters. What do you all think?

how does a man get his penis size? I heard it was from his father. If thats the case are brothers the same size anyone know hmmmm?

Here's a question for you....

I hear people say it's not the size, but what you do with it that counts.

This phrase has me thinking what exactly is meant by that, specifically?

The reason I ask is that by the very nature of the penis and vagina, during penetrative sex, what can it do other than go in and out?

Therefore is that phrase just a vague reference to being good in bed overall, or is there a big difference between how one mans thrusts in and out and how another man thrusts in and out that renders size secondary?

If so, please can you enlighten me as to what good thrusting in and out is compared to poor thrusting in and out?

The term “good in bed” refers to the whole package, to which penetration is just a part.

Thrusting for any significant time can actually be uncomfortable, particularly at first, gentle easing with an increase in speed, possibly slowing down again presents more enjoyment. Thrusting or pounding can be very much porn inspired.

The best sex method is the c word, communication!

@StarlightLady

I understand the good in bed narrative, but that doesn't address what is meant by 'what you do with it that counts' comments you so often read.

I'm intrigued as to what that actually means.

@confusedDH
Well ‘bad thrusting’ would be that incredibly fast, banging, using the woman like you’re masturbating sort of thing. A good thrust, would be a good hard slow thrust, holding the position whilst your close to her clit, repeatedly & then changing it up with some good paced thrusts. It’s also about knowing what positions work best for her; get a good angle & it’s heaven, a bad one & it’s just plain uncomfortable/painful 🤷‍♀️

@Bubblegumgal

I guess I must just be terrible in bed.

I've tried every possible combination of angle, speed, rhythm, timing etc I can think of to no avail.

I guess I just married a women who gets very little out of penetration.

Or sex in general.

@confuseddh
Tbh very very few men are amazing in bed. Most can’t get a woman to cum through penetration. There are probably some tutorials on the internet & effort is always appreciated whether it works or not 😊

Goes both ways I guess, I've only ever had one woman who could make me come from oral, the rest have been pretty hopeless.

I was just curious what was meant by 'what you do with it that counts'.

ConfusedDH

I think, partly due the title of this thread, you are taking “what you do with it” a little too literally. It really goes beyond the penis and the orgasm.

Thanks, I thought as much but just wanted to confirm it was figure of speech, rather than some sort of technique I was missing out on.

Another one saying that big ones can think that because they are big it means they can just fogoe any technique. Bigger is most definitely not always better

I only ever once made a woman, current DW, orgasm through PIV, trying the CAT position. Obviously a fluke because we didn’t ever manage it again. With my first DW and perhaps three or four women in my single years they would have follow up orgasms during PIV if they had orgasmed already from oral or fingering. I’m just slightly over average length and girth, wouldn’t call myself big or long. It is annoying when in movies/tv (and I don’t mean porn) in their excitement a couple go straight to penetration without any foreplay and within a short time she’s having the most intense orgasm ever, no wonder boys and men get the wrong idea. I think the expression “what you do with it” is more about foreplay and sex in general and not what you do with your penis.

I think it also helps of the woman is horny, up for it and longing, rather than passive, only mildly interested and not that. bothered if the orgasm is absent, as per my DW.

It's a yes from me too.

@confusedDH

Many women do not cum from piv.

In fact I would say it's the few in my (limited) experience.

Fingers and tongues, communication and attitude are far more important.

I've also met a lady who had never had an orgasm - but loved the intimacy of sex and enjoyed it.

i would say so...as long as not too large when becomes really painful and i cant take it all. def not too small. im happy with DH prob around 7 inch although never measured lol

@outdooryone

I'm more than aware of this - but it helps if your partner is 'up for it', enthusiastic and as you say, communicative.

Very difficult if there's little or no appetite and sex is shrouded in a cloud of 'elephant in the room'.

Ah, now that's true.

So size isn't everything, attitude is more important...?

(That said, size helps it seems from feedback...)

A lot of women struggle to bring themselves off, so what chance does some poor fucker have?

Ultimately, great sex happens in the mind and relies on two people wanting each other, right there, right then.

Willy size, big or small, has little to do with that.

@Christian77. It is a myth to suggest a lot of women struggle to bring themselves off. Women who don’t bring themselves off are often inprisoned by their upbringing.

A fair number of men struggle to bring women off though.

@Christian77 as a woman, I have never struggled to bring myself off.

And I orgasm regularly with PIV, I do communicate with my partners.

I found that If I felt alone when having sex, then I was doing it with the wrong person.

Definitely not. Depends on your own anatomy.

I am very small - anything too long or too much girth is really painful and restrictive. DH is well endowed in both respects and sex hurts initially every time so we have to be careful. Some positions are totally off the cards.

My ex had the most ridiculously sized penis I’d ever seen - he was extremely tall, and it was massive. Sex was like torture. I really liked the guy but sex was impossible. Needless to say it didn’t last long.

The reason I ask is that by the very nature of the penis and vagina, during penetrative sex, what can it do other than go in and out?

I read stuff like this and wonder how men manage to get through life being so clueless. If you think your only options during PIV are identical thrusts in or out, I don’t know what to tell you.

A lot of women struggle to bring themselves off, so what chance does some poor fucker have?

Oh the things men tell themselves! What a load of bollocks.

I couldn’t get off from PIV when I was younger - as I’ve gotten older it’s much easier. I don’t know if that’s my DH understanding my body or a physical change over time. I’ve had partners who would try for a long time and nothing. Now it takes less than a couple of minutes for my first. Although I’ve usually already had a couple beforehand which helps.

If a woman can’t cum from PIV then it’s a good idea to try a curved g spot vibrator and experiment and see where you get. I never found mine until I was 30... after that things changed significantly!

It's a yes from me!

I thought PIV orgasms were a myth until I met my b/f. I'm 50 and only ever experience 1 with my ex in my whole life. My b/f is very thick in girth and oh boy, it's absolutely the best. It has totally spoilt me for anything less. Sex is bliss with him. It's like we are made for each other. What he does matches with what I need. It's not something you can work on, it either works or not. Every time I feel like a virgin and it's the same for him. Absolutely wonderful! It also means that even when we are in situations when sex is not on the cards, the tension, anticipation, sexual chemistry is there.