Bizarre /funny things a partner did during sex

[lottieandmia]

A guy I was seeing used to start twitching the side of his mouth before he came. The first time I happened I thought he might be having a stroke! But no, it was just a thing he did.

Another one said 'I'm yours, you're mine' over and over with every thrust - after that performance he never saw me again!

@pineappleeyes

I remember on another thread someone said the bloke said 'there you go' just after he'd climaxed

OMG my ex used to say that!

@SirGawain

whilst she was on top her chicken fillet fell out of her bra and landed on the guy's face Was it literally a chicken fillet or is that a euphemism I'm not familiar with?

A boob enhancing padded thing. Slips into the bra to make boobs look bigger. Made out of silicone. Looks like a chicken fillet.

One of my ex's used to do this weird sobbing/whinny combo when he came, sort of
boo hoo boo hoo boo hoo whinny whinny
boo hoo boo hoo boo hoo whinny whinny.
Then he'd lay me on my back and want to go to sleep while suckling on me, the weirdo.

Lovely last ex when we were messing around, I'd say 'sing the song, sing the song' when he was on top.

The song : Gawd I miss that man.

Pull out method and he'd cum on my stomach then would rub in to the cum with his dick and smudge it all about for as long as it takes for it to be very awkward for me. Weird. I'd have cum right up in my belly button it was awful.

@SirGawain

whilst she was on top her chicken fillet fell out of her bra and landed on the guy's face Was it literally a chicken fillet or is that a euphemism I'm not familiar with?

@dumdumduuuummmmm blimey.. the things I've learned on MM..

@TiffanyIceberg that song has just made my DH laugh so much he’s wheezing (as am I!)

I fear it will now feature in his repertoire of ‘seduction songs’ whereby he sings loudly in my ear and I demand to have sex in order to end the appalling racket.

When I was with an ex we decided to try sexy talk during sex. I literally never know what to say so he went first and came out with ‘fuck the gash’ 🤔 😆 I pissed myself with laughter and because I couldn’t stop laughing we had to stop the session. I had another partner who made these God awful grunting sex noises when he came. I used to actually cringe when he did it. He got dumped fairly quickly.

@tiffanyiceberg LOVE THIS SONG

I met a girl on a work trip and went back to her place
as she came she started to cry, I was really worried I had done something wrong, triggered something, hurt her etc it took here a while for her to tell me she always crys when she cums (different language)
we did end up together for around 6 months which was great fun while it lasted

Thanks for the seamless jump from 2017 to 2022 - I would have missed ‘Horse it into me’ otherwise