How much is everyone really getting?!

[Ruskyrobins24]

For those in long term relationships with small children...
How often do you actually have sex?!

Momentary - you come across as sad about your situation and I can completely relate except for the fact that I don't love him anymore. How can I when I am treated so badly? When my feelings aren't important as is (he's admitted as much)

Do you talk about it? Are there health problems? What would YOU like to happen?

I get the wishing id never met him. When I did, I had very poor boundaries and boy did he cross them. So I wonder is it all my fault? My head spins with the magnitude of it sometimes.

Sadly, the rejection and feelings of ugliness and unworthiness have permeated into my professional life and I am in a dreadful situation there aswell.

I figure I must have been Genghis Khan in a past life....

Never give up on you Momentary

It's been probably a year, and I am quite happily 'celibate' got three children under 8yrs and have absolutely no desire for sex with dh or anyone else! The difficulty is, he's a man with a sex-drive.

We are exactly the same except it's less than once a month 😳 I am not bothered about it but he makes little remarks here and there and it gets to me. I just don't feel like it and feel why should I if he won't even kiss and cuddle?

Ahem
As an older woman can say do it whenever you get the chance as it will be less urgent in 30 years time.
Don't look back and say "I wish I'd had .ore sex"

tillly- what is an "older woman"?

Tilly, I'm not sure that is good advice.
When I look back to my 20s I probably had too much sex, often because it was expected of me and i wasn't assertive enough to say no. So I often went through the motions because I felt a sense of duty.
So rather than " do it whenever we have the chance" surely do it when we really want to.

Bizarre advice from Tilly!

I get thrush 8 out of 10 times after sex
I had that problem many years ago - it was a nightmare.
I eventually got on top of it with an anti-candida diet for 3 months with lots of pro-biotics. I started very strictly then gradually reintroduced foods. I went from having thrush almost constantly for a couple of years, to almost never and I haven't had it for years now.

We do it for 3 nights in a row the week I'm ovulating because I'd just go insane otherwise

We hardly ever do it other than that, maybe just once. My reason is that eldest has just turned 13 and I can hear her footsteps walking around, going down the stairs for a drink, etc. I really just can't switch off and it has killed our sex life.

We used to do it 3 nights a week or so.

The longest we went without it was when I was breastfeeding the babies for a year or so and that too killed my sex drive, mentally and physically.

I feel sorry for my dh and I notice that we are much happier the week (!) we do have sex.

We do it for 3 nights in a row the week I'm ovulating
We hardly ever do it other than that, maybe just once.
That's really sad. You're only having sex to get pregnant. That can't be good for your relationship.

I should have clarified, I'm not TTC! Family is complete (Just very horny then)

Anecdotal I think MNetter meant that she only really wanted sex around the time that she was ovulating, rather than she was trying to get pregnant per se.

As for me, it used to be a couple of times a week. It's more like once a week right now and that's more because I feel sorry for DH as I'm 19 weeks pregnant and have a toddler and a stressful full-time job and I'm just so permanently tired right now sex is quite low down my priority list.

I can't believe how much sex everyone has and with small children as well. It has shocked me and I feel worried that something is wrong with me now.

I'm late twenties and been with my partner for 8 years with no children and we manage 1-2 times a month. I feel bad because I do enjoy it when we do it. I love sex and fantasise a lot about it but not about my partner. After 8 years I don't feel excited about sex with my partner. But I think I would feel that way about anyone I was with for a long time....or at least that's what I tell myself to stop myself from freaking out!

I don't think it's a problem to fantasise about other people but it really doesn't sound like you actually fancy your partner that much hoppity.
I fancy the pants off my DH after 20+ years and 2 kids.

Sorry Mnetter I misunderstood that, but if you can manage 3 times that week, I'm sure you can have a few quiet shags the rest of the month.

I've always had a high sex drive, so it's got to be at least once a day for me, except when I'm on, then I don't want to know! My youngest is 10, and I cannot understand my friends who say they are to tired, or have not got the time. It's a priority for me, so I make time!

DH and I are both 40 and we've been together 14 years. We have DCs age 8, 4, and 3. Our sex life fluctuates so much. Things like pregnancy/BFing, work stress, extended family issues, travel, kids, age, physical and mental health all affect it in positive and negative ways. After DC2 was born, PIV was incredibly painful for almost a year, but we were actually intimate 3-4x/week. On more than one occasion we've gone up to probably 6 weeks with no form of sex at all. These days we probably average once a week, though it's often 3x in one week then 2 weeks without. We're both pretty happy with that I think, considering how knackered we always are.

I have teenagers who seem to have ears like guard dogs and the slightest movement has them checking it out. Usually aim for once a week but more than that is very welcome!

Both late 40's, been together 25 years. Usually 2-3 times a week, we both work shifts so sometimes we need to plan in advance but it's important to both of us so we make the effort. Would say we are having more & better sex than ever, suppose it will reduce at some point but we both love it so that won't be any time soon.

Bridgetoc. Envious. Id be the same if I could!

About once every 3 months atm We def still fancy each other, plenty of affection and steamy kisses, but we both work long hours with long commutes and have DD (3) so are perpetually knackered. No idea how people with multiple kids maintain any semblence of a sex life! Also I find when you get out of the habit, it kind of gets weird trying to instigate it, iykwim

Friday night, Saturday morning and night, Sunday morning. Always some or all of these and through the night. Occasionally mid week but to be honest we both like going to bed in the week without having to bother. May sound like a routine but we're both happy. Know we're getting it and have a nice week sleeping.
That said I am grumpy if I don't get the Saturday morning shag.

Mov1ngOn I'm lucky because my DH is very supportive of me and we have an open relationship of sorts. I really don't think I could cope with not having enough sex, but a lot of my friends treat it like a chore. They think I'm a bit strange, but I don't think I am. Is your partner not into it Mov1ngOn ?

Bridge - low drive :( Going to the doctors about it. I don't want an open marriage but we are so mismatched. We have "interesting" sex together at times and have similar interests, its just his drive doesn't seem to be there. Really weird.

About once a week here. Ideally I'd prefer twice a week but I'm happy with once a week.

Been together 16 years, youngest (3) now sleeps pretty well so probably averages about every 2nd day. I would prefer more for majority of month - having come off pill pre kids my libido is ridiculous now.

Mov1ngOn Sorry to hear that. It must be very frustrating for you.... Fingers crossed that the Dr can help!