How much is everyone really getting?!

[Ruskyrobins24]

For those in long term relationships with small children...
How often do you actually have sex?!

Just turned 50 and most often it's 4/5 nights a week, sometimes more, sometimes a bit less.

It was very sparse when the kids were little though, life gets in the way and it's not the same for a while. If you love each other you can come through it and match your new changed libido

When you get older it's like a second youth.

It massively varies with us. we had sex about 6 times in the whole of last year (pnd), this year we lost count before we got into March (not that we keep count, just last year was ridiculous). It also depends on our relationship. We up and down alot and tbh we probably have sex more when we're hating each other. But, once or twice a week is more than enough for me. I can't understand how anyone could want it more than that, it's boring as hell. Ide rather be sleeping 😂

As often as I want.

I get ragey if there's more than a day gap & I don't even like that.
Proper miffed & get stroppy, apparently I'm a sex pest....
A couple of times a day usually or more if we push the boat out.
Our relationship has so many bad bits but I love the boy with all my heart & I've never fancied anyone so much which makes for a heady combination !

I'm 34, our daughter is 3.

Increasingly I realise that one of the major problems in our sex life is that I just don't give it long enough. 15 mins is pretty standard, a quickie is 5 mins or less. Can't really imagine 2 hours, what on earth would you be doing for that time.
I suppose I'm influenced by masturbation, perhaps that's the problem. I always thought porn sex was ridiculously drawn out, but perhaps it's actually more normal than I realised.

Late 40s, btw. I don't want it all that often!

Neither does DH, so it works out well.

mummypig I had the merina coil removed 6 months ago and my sex drive went through the roof, unfortunately DH seems to have stayed at previous low levels. I guess that's just what he's been used to and he is always up for it now but I'd like him to initiate it sometimes too.

Mid 30's been together since our teens one DS who is 9.

We have sex almost every day, on weekends it's usual for us to have sex 3+ times a day.

This weekend just gone for instance, we had sex twice in Friday night, three times on Saturday and five times on Sunday.
(I'm only counting piv, although we using inc a bit of oral in our sessions I'm not counting oral on its own as 'sex')

We both have high sex drives and the sex is incredible.

We have a 3.5 yo DD and last had sex a few months after she was conceived. This month will mark 4 years of celibacy for us. Initially, I was the one who went off sex, due to pregnancy hormones, weight gain, traumatic birth, etc. But DH has a very low sex drive, so has been pretty unconcerned about the situation. However, my libido came back with a vengeance a couple of years ago and I now spend most days climbing the walls! I am so, so jealous of all of you who are getting it several times a week with sexy partners, grrr...

Been though really rough patch health-wise so had dropped to nil, trying to get back to once a week to begin with but DD is nearly 15 and always in her room watching DVDs so we"re stuck to when she's out / staying with friends. Mind both now in our mid-40s & been married 19 years and together for 21 so we've also had the 3 - 4 times a day times (& managed to recreate this last time DD was away) so getting there!

Last had sex in april 15. Been with other half 3 years. Miss sex. He takes ages to climax. So wont contemplate a quicky. I miss the connection.

He says still fancies me. Not so sure.

Well, late 30's here, husband early 50's.
Many moons ago, when we only had 2 dcs. Our sex drive wasn't particularly affected. But I was working regular hours & he was home 2 weeks away 2 week. So we could fit it in quite easily.
Sex was painful due to PGP with dcs3 & my sex drive nose dived after she was born. It sort of took 5y to recover. Unfortunately we now both work shifts & half the time don't share a bed at night due to this. 3yo dc4 also bed shares and we now have teens that hang around the living room til late. All of this means it's hard to fit sex in without being walked in on. So after dc4 it had gone down to a handful of times a year. We're now up to 1-2x a month. Generally a weekend morning after dc4 has vacated the bed. We're building an extension now. Hopefully once dc4 has her own bed, we'll be able to increase it a bit more! I do miss those daily sex days.

Both of us mid 40's, been together 29 years. DC are teens, or at least will all be in the next 5 months

I'm a night owl, DH definitely isn't so it tends to be a couple of times a month. Rarely PIV as I don't really like it (I have joint problems, tends to get uncomfortable quickly and that's no fun) and there's far more things we enjoy doing. I don't mind, we're close in other ways and I have a skilful right hand and enough time alone...

We're both 40, with a 3yo. Been together since we were 19. We didn't have sex for over two years after giving birth (traumatic birth and after, plus PND), and not much since then - can't remember the last time. Most of the time I am fine with this, and if DH isn't, he hasn't said (and I have asked); we have cuddles which I much prefer. I have never had the fantastic sex some people talk about in my life - had nice, but not mind-blowing - and it's just not that important to me. And I got fed up with doing it so often when we were TTC!

Oh god. Once a month if that. I have zero sex drive at the moment. Dh tries his luck every other day or so. He's always good about it when I say no. It must be so frustrating for him. However I try and make an effort occasionally and do try to enjoy it when it happens. Part of me does feel happy that it's out of the way for a while.

On verge of rampant affair due to dp's complete lack of interest in me. We're in our thirties

TrappedNerve I wouldn't cheat on him. Don't lower yourself to being an adultress. If it's that bad, could you give him an ultimatum and stick to it? He has to choose between making more of an effort, or an open relationship. Or you want to end the relationship.

It was every other day until fertility problems killed our sex life. It seems to have taken the shine off sex somehow knowing we can't make a baby ourselves. I'm trying to find the groove again but it's just too sad 😢

Used to be once a year for about 10 years. I adored by husband and was with him for 20 yrs but that finally finished us off, I left him when I was 39 and am now with someone else and have sex about 5 times a week, could be more but not normally less. Im 42 btw and got one 7yo.

Mid 30s, been together 15, married for 10 years. Children 5 & 2 year old. At the beginning were very matched together but then I suffered a breavement which made sex feel like a betrayal to the grieving process. Never really got my sex drive back. Since having kids we have gone 6 months without sex, H always initiate it but I now make myself say yes to him when he asks now. Average once a month & it is a chore but once I get into it it's ok. Last dtd Sat night.
Well..... After reading this post last night (Mon night) amazed at how active some people are as a result I initiated it last night much to the delight of my H!! Feeling nice today if not a bit horny still

ginfever, I am sorry for your loss.
To feel that having sex with your OH is "betraying the grieving process" is quite sad. Could you ask your GP for some help to get you through the process.
Intimacy can be a very healing thing too.

It's difficult, I get thrush 8 out of 10 times after sex, we have treated him, tried condoms etc, nothing works. I also have IBS, I get stomach pains after. So you can't really blame me for having a low sex drive huh?

I fancy him like crazy and we are intimate in other ways.

As for how often it varies. Sometimes once a month, sometimes no times a month and other times I might stretch to once a week.

DH had a low sex drive, but recently it's much higher, which is a shame for him.

We're both almost 40, we've been together for 10 years, my DS is 6 and DD is 3. I've got major health issues but we still typically have sex 3/4 times a week. I've just had a heart surgery and we've been struggling a bit with that as one of the first days we did after the procedure some of my stitches broke and I had to go back to hospital and explain what I was doing

Never never never. It was a problem from the beginning, and it's never really got better. It has killed my self confidence. I feel ugly, judged and found wanting. The only time we had a sex life was when we were ttc. I love him desperately, and I'm not leaving, but sometimes I wish we'd never met, and that I'd lived a different life.