Anal sex

[feelinghothothot]

Any real advice on how to enjoy this without biting the pillows? I've tried it a couple of times but I know dp would love to do it more. I'm also keen to get into it. Lube, toys - can someone steer me right?

your language is victim blaming...you may not have meant it that way but it doesn't change anything

I am reminded of the pointless circular arguments I have with my 15yo

I have to throw the towel in with those when it is clear the hand ain't listening....

how do you see the potential to perform every sex act under the sun with any other compatible human as the same thing as the assumption that every other human being wants to do everything with you, or that it doesnt matter whether they do or not? i dont accept that thats a normal way to think at all and i've said it's not what i meant.

I don't really read it like that either, rink. I take it to mean that if you like something, then you don't know whether that is something that the other person likes unless you ask.

So, if you assume nothing is "on the table" then you never ask, because you assume the answer is no.

So if there's something you like, you need to ask, and find out if it's a yes or a no. If you never try to find out then you're never going to get anywhere.

I can sort of see what you're saying but I don't take what MF said to mean that at all.

THANK YOU whirlpool, that is EXACTLY what i meant! and i too do get what they mean, but i refuse to accept that it has anything to do with what i was saying and no, i wont be moving on from that because its pretty serious shit, man. you cant go round accusing people of victim blaming rap apologising etc etc and expect them to just say 'oh, ok'. No, i won't have it.

rape* not rap lol different thing entirely, and if you all jump on me for apologising for flo rida then it's OVER!!

This is getting very boring.
Shall we discuss pegging?

i already burnt the table and renamed it the cup as nouns are so important to you guys. i did hope it would serve to demonstrate how ridiculous it is to get so bogged down on which receptacle i chose though.

lol @ pegging

Me and my friend both (separately) saw a prog on BBC2 when we were about 19 and we realised in the pub after because it was about unusual sexual practices. And there was a couple who were into pegging, and they showed it :/ (what the hell was this doing on BB2 or C4 or whatever the hell it was 20 years ago???) anyway we both commented that the strap on she was using on him was very small. Which brings us back to this whole empathy issue!

As a sexual health professional:

Make sure you relieve your bowels
start with lots of lube and one finger, then two, then three to relax
Then slowly try the penis, gently and with lots of lube, and make sure you are relaxed

But if he is big, it may just hurt!

I do enjoy a bit of line drying

that lovely outdoor sunshiney smell your smalls get

enjoy it, AF, you seem to need to

that's a snidey dig, MF

go you

what next for me

I need a good fucking, is that it ?

wow....just, wow.

not surprised you read victim blaming in my posts with that kind of mentality tbh

can you explain how else I should have taken that observation about what I am in need of ?

funk me - NO!!!

Well well well.... There was me thinking "isn't it nice that MN has now got a sex section where we can have a mature, liberal, debate about something that is supposed to be FUN"

I was just wondering how long it would take for MN Royalty to descend (all Hail the Queen of Sheba) and start telling us all that our husbands are twats and that if they try to reassure then that's really coercion which is really RAPE.

The OP was after tips to ENJOY a perfectly legal practice. If you're so vehemently against it and you find the whole topic "grim" - no one asked you to click on the thread. There is a separate section for the Dworkin Brigade in feminist theory. Please take your judgment, bile and name - calling there.

Heaven knows what you've done to the thread on Submissive Sex.

I see 'everything on the table' as meaning everything is open for discussion. Everything always requires consent - nothing can be assumed.

I do think it is impossible for a woman who genuinely enjoys anal sex, to discuss it or offer any advice on how to do it, without being accused of making life more difficult for other women. I don't have anal to try to be a cool girl - I do it because I like it.

Porn is out there that gives a completely unrealistic portrayal about all sex, particularly anal - that's not something we can do a whole lot about, but we can work to educate people about the reality. That includes the fact that most women don't do it and that it does carry different risks to PIV and oral sex.

The whole issue of consent needs to be discussed much more. What is it, what does it mean, what does it look like, how do you ask etc. It is through better understanding of consent, that the problems of coercion can be reduced, and the abuser who manipulates the 'everything on the table' can be exposed for what he is.

MH, I am not even going to attempt to engage with that transparently goady post designed to do nothing more than reignite an argument that had died down

Why are you even engaging in this thread? The OP asked for tips on ENJOYING something - not a lecture from you (and Innocent) that "There's far too much of it. No one is persuading or coercing you to take part in this.

Your concerns about coercion, rape and "Creepy Fuckers" should be in Feminist Theory. That's precisely why MN set up a separate space here.