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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

213 replies

Tsc2011 · 04/02/2024 11:50

My child is in year 4 and so we’re having to start considering secondary schools. We have two good grammars in the area but the state schools available are woeful. The Grammars are very competitive to get in to. I went to one and tutoring for the 11+ was rare but now seems to be the norm, often starting in year 4. My children are both exceeding expectations in all areas at school but my eldest can get very anxious (but we think she would be cannon fodder in the local state schools) and I worry about how she will manage with the test and perceived pressure (note, I’m a principal scientist with a PhD and I struggled with some of the 11+ practice questions I looked at the other day!!). Some parents at my child’s school are opting for the local private school and I’m a bit flummoxed about how people are affording this. We don’t live in a particularly affluent area, one family have 3 in private school and run a very small business.
For disclosure we have a combined income of £130k, fees would amount to £2k/month, increasing to £3k as they got older (more of VAT is introduced). We currently save £1.7k a month in to savings but some of that then gets spent on holidays, home improvements etc so it’s not feasible at the moment to send both.

We’re wondering whether to try for the grammars and if one doesn’t get in we send one to private and if both don’t then we move.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 20:38

"The very reason many use private schools is because they don’t live near decent state schools so of course you’ll find a high percentage claiming the local state option is poor."

OK. What I don't understand is that the vast majority of lower performing state schools are in areas of social and economic deprivation. Which are not the areas where people can afford private schools live.

Confusing, eh?

LostInTheBog · 14/05/2024 20:46

A mixture of very high earners - international banking, tech, project management etc, inherited wealth and grandparents paying. But the expense is not the only con attached to private education and even those schools on the TES shortlist for independent school of the year can have what seem to those used to the State system to have strange and opaque ways which Ofsted would drive a carriage & horses through.

So even if you think you could put one of your children through private school, please go in with your eyes wide open & don’t just see the surface of it.

Heatherbell1978 · 14/05/2024 20:50

CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 20:38

"The very reason many use private schools is because they don’t live near decent state schools so of course you’ll find a high percentage claiming the local state option is poor."

OK. What I don't understand is that the vast majority of lower performing state schools are in areas of social and economic deprivation. Which are not the areas where people can afford private schools live.

Confusing, eh?

But people with money can either choose to move to an area with an excellent state school or choose private if their catchment state school isn't great. So either way that leaves the poor performing state school with lower income families.

Fedupdoc · 14/05/2024 20:57

We have one in private prep currently (fees around 14k) with combined income of 130-140k. Our second doesn’t start for 3 more years. As of next year our combined income will be £180-200k. Truthfully private Ed is a huge sacrifice. We know our children would be fine at state. We aren’t keen on grammar (same sex setting, competitive culture) but we love the school and it’s a choice we have made. Not because we think it will guarantee results, but purely the style of teaching/experience.

I agree look around schools before making a decision. I do think different schools suit different children.

CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 21:59

@Heatherbell1978 But people with the money to go to private school are incredibly unlikely to be living in the catchment of poorly performing state schools in the first place!

Saschka · 14/05/2024 22:02

TheChosenTwo · 04/02/2024 12:00

Some people earn more money than others.

Yep, this is basically it. Or they have rich grandparents.

I have a colleague on the same pay as me, and she has three in one of the local private schools. Her FIL is paying. £90k per year 🤯

Saschka · 14/05/2024 22:03

CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 21:59

@Heatherbell1978 But people with the money to go to private school are incredibly unlikely to be living in the catchment of poorly performing state schools in the first place!

They might if they’ve spent all their money on private school fees!

If I was sending DS to private school, we’d be in a one bedroom flat somewhere cheap, because that’s all I’d be able to afford.

Chewyspree · 14/05/2024 22:12

We have a combine family income of £100k ish. We have one DC in private school. Been there 9 years, 6 more to go.

  • We drive one car. It’s old.
  • Holidays are staying with family and house sitting for friends. No package deals etc.
  • No take always, ever.
  • We eat out a few times a year, I’d say 6 max.
  • No adult gifts at Xmas & b’day, little things so DC can see we have something to open.
  • DH has one main job and does another job occasionally as freelance
  • I have about 5 or 6 income streams. I am always looking for my next job/client. I do anything and everything. My career had to end to afford the school
  • absolute clear minded focus on the goal - which is the sChoi lol fees (£1,800 p/m)
  • our house is very very small and very cheap to run
  • no credit cards, no debt, no savings either.

We are affording it and we have what we think is a nice life. We are a happy family. There is, incidentally, no money for the labour VAT increase. We are not one of those families who will just find the 20%. We’ll leave the school at that point.

edited to add, we have 3 state high schools in 3 miles of our house (live in a city). All rated inadequate.

Heatherbell1978 · 14/05/2024 22:33

@CurlewKate I live in the catchment of a fairly average state school. The area itself ranges from £1m+ old houses to council estates. Not dissimilar to a lot of towns in the central belt of Scotland where the catchment of a school takes in a very wide demographic. Most people in my area who can afford it send their kids to private school. Decent area, not great school. But much cheaper to live than the city centre where a 3 bed home in the best catchment school is £600k+.

Charlie2121 · 14/05/2024 22:41

CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 21:59

@Heatherbell1978 But people with the money to go to private school are incredibly unlikely to be living in the catchment of poorly performing state schools in the first place!

I do. Not all poorly performing state schools are in bad areas.

nearlylovemyusername · 14/05/2024 22:53

CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 21:59

@Heatherbell1978 But people with the money to go to private school are incredibly unlikely to be living in the catchment of poorly performing state schools in the first place!

Incorrect. There are plenty of areas in e.g. London where pretty challenging council estates are next door to reasonably affluent areas. This creates vicious cycle when those middle classes are horrified for their kids to mix with council estate kids, many of whom also have EAL, and it's cheaper to send them private, esp if 1-2 kids family, than to move to equivalent house in a "properly" wealthy area. Then school catchment area expands to catch lower socio-economic layers from wider area and so on

Peanutpirate · 14/05/2024 23:05

We have quite a modest house compared to many others where we live as school fees are our priority as DC are so happy and thriving at their private school. Mother in law does help out with school uniform occasionally. I’d sell a kidney to keep my kids there. Hopefully I won’t have to.

Turmerictolly · 15/05/2024 00:01

Chewyspree · 14/05/2024 22:12

We have a combine family income of £100k ish. We have one DC in private school. Been there 9 years, 6 more to go.

  • We drive one car. It’s old.
  • Holidays are staying with family and house sitting for friends. No package deals etc.
  • No take always, ever.
  • We eat out a few times a year, I’d say 6 max.
  • No adult gifts at Xmas & b’day, little things so DC can see we have something to open.
  • DH has one main job and does another job occasionally as freelance
  • I have about 5 or 6 income streams. I am always looking for my next job/client. I do anything and everything. My career had to end to afford the school
  • absolute clear minded focus on the goal - which is the sChoi lol fees (£1,800 p/m)
  • our house is very very small and very cheap to run
  • no credit cards, no debt, no savings either.

We are affording it and we have what we think is a nice life. We are a happy family. There is, incidentally, no money for the labour VAT increase. We are not one of those families who will just find the 20%. We’ll leave the school at that point.

edited to add, we have 3 state high schools in 3 miles of our house (live in a city). All rated inadequate.

Edited

You'll be in a precarious position if Labour do carry their policy through. The sensible thing would have been to save a bit and just do private for secondary.

twistyizzy · 15/05/2024 06:06

CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 21:59

@Heatherbell1978 But people with the money to go to private school are incredibly unlikely to be living in the catchment of poorly performing state schools in the first place!

Wrong. Maybe in London but not true for the NE. As I have said numerous times, Northern schools get less funding per pupil that Southern schools and NE schools have some of the worst outcomes in England. There also isn't the level of wealth up here than there is in the south.

WarningOfGails · 15/05/2024 06:40

@Heatherbell1978 dont forget rural areas. There are no outstanding schools in my area at all, the rest are good and inadequate, and due to location/distance parents don’t have much choice. However there’s also only one private school so not much choice there either.

WarningOfGails · 15/05/2024 06:42

twistyizzy · 15/05/2024 06:06

Wrong. Maybe in London but not true for the NE. As I have said numerous times, Northern schools get less funding per pupil that Southern schools and NE schools have some of the worst outcomes in England. There also isn't the level of wealth up here than there is in the south.

students in Devon have the lowest funding per head, so it’s not the southern schools, it’s probably just south eastern/London!

twistyizzy · 15/05/2024 07:34

WarningOfGails · 15/05/2024 06:42

students in Devon have the lowest funding per head, so it’s not the southern schools, it’s probably just south eastern/London!

Thank you. Yes it is easy if you are sat in the catchment of a well funded state school in London to decry the need for private schools. Very different story elsewhere in the country.

Pipsquiggle · 15/05/2024 07:35

NDmumoftwo · 14/05/2024 17:27

We have two in private school one in senior and one in prep. We put aside £4k a month to pay for this - that includes fees, lunches, transport, trips etc etc and we have a "buffer" of £50k in case one of us is made redundant etc.
We've been frugal for a long time to be able to afford this - overpayed our mortgage for years, etc etc, so our outgoings are low.
We're both lucky to have decent salaries - around £12k per month between us after tax.

@NDmumoftwo

So you have a huge household income (circa £250k) which enables you to pay for private education.

shepherdsangeldelight · 15/05/2024 07:39

Saschka · 14/05/2024 22:03

They might if they’ve spent all their money on private school fees!

If I was sending DS to private school, we’d be in a one bedroom flat somewhere cheap, because that’s all I’d be able to afford.

That's a bit "chicken and egg" though isn't it?

You can't say I sent my children to private school because my local school was awful; whilst admitting you chose to live in a less affluent area because you wanted to send your children to private school.

If you have private school money, you have options to live somewhere else and use the state education system.

Chewyspree · 15/05/2024 07:52

Turmerictolly · 15/05/2024 00:01

You'll be in a precarious position if Labour do carry their policy through. The sensible thing would have been to save a bit and just do private for secondary.

😂we won’t be in a ‘precarious position’ - we will just leave the school. It’s not a maybe for us.

We weren’t to know 9 years ago all the things that would happen. We made our choice, this is our reality.

Chewyspree · 15/05/2024 07:55

shepherdsangeldelight · 15/05/2024 07:39

That's a bit "chicken and egg" though isn't it?

You can't say I sent my children to private school because my local school was awful; whilst admitting you chose to live in a less affluent area because you wanted to send your children to private school.

If you have private school money, you have options to live somewhere else and use the state education system.

I dunno. My house is a 3 min walk from DC school. It’s one of the reasons we moved here, to cut time and petrol costs. The house is a 3 bed terrace. Cost £280k in 2018.

We can’t afford to move, and certainly not to the areas with the good state schools. Not even to the area with the ‘good’ state schools.

Heatherbell1978 · 15/05/2024 08:06

*That's a bit "chicken and egg" though isn't it?

You can't say I sent my children to private school because my local school was awful; whilst admitting you chose to live in a less affluent area because you wanted to send your children to private school.

If you have private school money, you have options to live somewhere else and use the state education system*

Well not necessarily. We bought our detached 4 bed in a decent area in 2014 for £320k when eldest was a baby. Secondary school has gone downhill since then. It's cheaper for us to send him to private school than shell out £700k+ for a 4 bed house in the great state catchments closer to the city.

Charlie2121 · 15/05/2024 08:23

If you have 1 DC and a poor local state school provision it is nearly always more financially viable to stay where you are and use private schools rather than move to the best local state school catchment area particularly with interest rates now being higher than in recent years.

EarthlyNightshade · 15/05/2024 08:50

Charlie2121 · 15/05/2024 08:23

If you have 1 DC and a poor local state school provision it is nearly always more financially viable to stay where you are and use private schools rather than move to the best local state school catchment area particularly with interest rates now being higher than in recent years.

This was how it was with some of my friends. The two with one child stayed in the mixed catchment and used private schools, those with 2/3 children moved to the outstanding catchment.

Hoppinggreen · 15/05/2024 09:21

CurlewKate · 14/05/2024 21:59

@Heatherbell1978 But people with the money to go to private school are incredibly unlikely to be living in the catchment of poorly performing state schools in the first place!

We do.
Nice area but shitty catchment.
There are plenty of houses worth £400k plus here (North so thats a lot) but the local State school is in Special Measures

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