Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

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My child is in year 4 and so we’re having to start considering secondary schools. We have two good grammars in the area but the state schools available are woeful. The Grammars are very competitive to get in to. I went to one and tutoring for the 11+ was rare but now seems to be the norm, often starting in year 4. My children are both exceeding expectations in all areas at school but my eldest can get very anxious (but we think she would be cannon fodder in the local state schools) and I worry about how she will manage with the test and perceived pressure (note, I’m a principal scientist with a PhD and I struggled with some of the 11+ practice questions I looked at the other day!!). Some parents at my child’s school are opting for the local private school and I’m a bit flummoxed about how people are affording this. We don’t live in a particularly affluent area, one family have 3 in private school and run a very small business.
For disclosure we have a combined income of £130k, fees would amount to £2k/month, increasing to £3k as they got older (more of VAT is introduced). We currently save £1.7k a month in to savings but some of that then gets spent on holidays, home improvements etc so it’s not feasible at the moment to send both.

We’re wondering whether to try for the grammars and if one doesn’t get in we send one to private and if both don’t then we move.

Good point well made @bermudatriangel

I am not at all sure that my friend who sent her DDs from age 4 to age 16 and drove 30 mins each way twice a day to facilitate this has had serious benefit (or rather, whether her DDs have). Certs if they had moved instead to be near a really good secondary in the town, they would now have a house worth ££.

No foreign holidays, no renovations, no designer goods, no gold jewellery or expensive watches.

It would cost us over 150K to move house whereas 75K for fees is half the cost. No brainer really

Depends how many children too. The more kids, the more it might make sense to pay to move into a good cat he meant area rather than lay multiple fees. But if you have 1 child, staying where you are and paying fees (especially in a scholarship or bursary might be possible) might be better.

Those choosing excellent state schools over private, often can’t understand why people don’t move and avoid fees. They forget that there are a no of reasons why people choose private over good Comps or Grammars and also that different area schools might have different strengths or weaknesses in the private/state sector. Results is one way to look at schools, but other things such as SEN provision or Saturday sport or the different experience might be deciding factors. People value different aspects of schooling and also other elements of their life such as holidays, cars etc etc differently and also the sacrifices needed for fees varies from person to person.

We've discussed this if my OH gets a job he's applied for.
Neither my two will get into grammar
They won't study or do the work. State equivalent isn't great but I think when exams are looming I'll look at tutoring instead

I'd always worry I'd scrimp and save pay the fees ans they still fail their exams. I went to uni with someone who went to a very good private school and ended up at the same uni as me ( which was a shite one) . I'd feel I'd wasted all that money.

It’s not all about exam results, it’s about 14 years of experiences.

It’s akin to suggesting that all holidays are the same because we all end up at home in the end or that all cars are the same because they all get you to your destination.

Very much dependent on County. In many Counties the 11+ and State grammar schools have long gone, and the only Grammar Schools left are very much private.

‘Sacrifices’ don’t you know?🙄 We’re constantly told that private school parents make lots of these, but what it actually boils down to is forgoing both a ski holiday and a fortnight in the sun, not putting quite so much into savings or perhaps having to make do with last year’s model of luxury car.

For many people it would be the equivalent of their monthly take home pay.

Plenty of private school parents use one entire income to fund the fees and live on the other parents income.

The idea that they all go skiing or buy luxury cars is a mile off.

Ffs my income is 24 thousand a year I’m single and you ask this question

Honestly, I don’t think many people realise how some people paying for private school are living to pay for it.

My very good friend has 2 sons and a kid ranking private school. She goes without everything, literally. No holidays, very old car, no takeaways, worn clothes that really have seen better days days.

Income of £150k, low mortgage and live up North so fees lower

*mid not kid

Household income, or just yours?

Household.
We are also both SE so tax is slightly different.

Believe it or not, in other people’s worlds, one cannot simply devote an entire salary to paying the school fees and live off the other. Both incomes are required to pay the bills and put food on the table. Not for purchasing the luxury of a privileged education FFS.🙄

In my opinion, 14 years of education is about so much more than the piece of paper showing exam results at the end. It’s about experiences, finding out where their strengths lie and a happy childhood.

Combined income only £90k but staff discount of 50% plus scholarships plus grandparents help

This!

My parents sent my brother to a private school because the state one he was allocated was absolute crap. They couldn't afford it, but couldn't afford not it. Father was a shop manager and mother a secretary, both in small/local businesses, so low/average wages. They paid for it by not having holidays, not doing any home improvements, running a clapped out old banger of a car, mother doing a second part time evening job. It was very hard for them, but they put themselves through it for the greater good.

Higher income for us and going without stuff although we still go on holiday a lot. Personally would not want to do it on any lower income I think it would be too much of a sacrifice.

The whole ethos of private schools is completely different to bog standard comps. It's not all about the "certificate", it's about the extra curricula sports/arts/tech, it's about networking, team work, confidence building and nurturing. Private schools usually have a much stronger "friends of ...." or parent/teacher organisation to raise funds for educational trips, extra sports/music/tech equipment, to finance clubs & societies, etc. They also tend to keep in contact with leavers, who will often return to give subject/employer/career talks, and they also tend to do their own career fairs where they invite local/national employers to have stands handing out leaflets and talking to students and usually pretty good careers/Uni advice. The "certificate" is the least of it really! It's much more of a community (via the sports, clubs & societies, arts, etc) and much more geared to career options/opportunities, etc.

We're pretty well off. We spend under £2 on holidays per year. Our cars are 10 years old. I'm not saying what anyone should do but that's a pretty good saving. Most of the kids clothes are off vinted. Equally people can be lucky if they took out their mortgage at a good time.

If we'd wanted private school we'd have bought a smaller house too and or in a cheaper area too and actually only been able to have one kid.

How many households have only 1 person working? Every single one of them could afford private education for a child if they wanted to.

Fewer than half of UK families have 2 FT working parents.