Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

[Tsc2011]

My child is in year 4 and so we’re having to start considering secondary schools. We have two good grammars in the area but the state schools available are woeful. The Grammars are very competitive to get in to. I went to one and tutoring for the 11+ was rare but now seems to be the norm, often starting in year 4. My children are both exceeding expectations in all areas at school but my eldest can get very anxious (but we think she would be cannon fodder in the local state schools) and I worry about how she will manage with the test and perceived pressure (note, I’m a principal scientist with a PhD and I struggled with some of the 11+ practice questions I looked at the other day!!). Some parents at my child’s school are opting for the local private school and I’m a bit flummoxed about how people are affording this. We don’t live in a particularly affluent area, one family have 3 in private school and run a very small business.
For disclosure we have a combined income of £130k, fees would amount to £2k/month, increasing to £3k as they got older (more of VAT is introduced). We currently save £1.7k a month in to savings but some of that then gets spent on holidays, home improvements etc so it’s not feasible at the moment to send both.

We’re wondering whether to try for the grammars and if one doesn’t get in we send one to private and if both don’t then we move.

63% of two parents families have parents who work full or part time (in my case, part time is 33 hours over 4 days with one day ‘off’). One extra day’s work won’t pay for two children to be educated privately.

Again, private education is not a ‘choice’ for most families and it’s incredibly arrogant to presume it is.

Have I missed something? How much do you think private education costs. We have bills to pay and a kid in nursery too.

I didn’t say it was a choice for most but it is a choice for a lot more than claim it is.

Many just prefer to prioritise other things which is of course absolutely fine.

It is one of the reasons why the VAT proposal is so unjust.

We have similar income to you and are sending 2 for secondary. When they were at primary we were saving. For the few years they are at secondary together we will run down savings a bit

@Tsc2011
Let me know if you would like private school options in Lancashire. You could live somewhere like Clitheroe which is lovely

There is so much rubbish on mumsnet 😅
Do you even believe what you typed?

Lots of people go without everything, literally, and still can't afford private school for one, let alone two children.

And I hope that your friend has twins in their final year of school because if she is already going without literally anything, she's going to be unable to afford even the "normal" year on year fee increases that private schools make, never mind even consdering VAT.

By being rich.

@Jennaveeve "Honestly, I don’t think many people realise how some people paying for private school are living to pay for it."

Honestly, it sounds as if you don't realise how some people are living full stop.

@fungipie "Very much dependent on County. In many Counties the 11+ and State grammar schools have long gone, and the only Grammar Schools left are very much private."

There are (I think) 164 grammar schools in the country. They are state schools. There are some ex-grammar schools which are now private but have retained the word "grammar" in their name solely for historical reasons. They are the same as any other private school.

OP - if you can move anywhere, look at Hampshire. No grammar school angst and the comps are good overall. Most secondaries here are 11-16 so followed by a sixth form college - Peter Symonds in Winchester gets outstanding results and many students into top unis and there are several other good ones too e.g. Brockenhurst College and Barton Peveril in Eastleigh. I heard a few years ago that Hampshire's GCSE average is better than LAs with grammar schools.

@Tsc2011
if you’re still in Oxfordshire, and want to stay in the area. You can live on the border of bucks, and be eligible for the grammars and a very good local comprehensive. It’s a very small geographical area which falls into this category. It’s sought after locally.

We sent her state primary and spent those 8 years saving so we have a buffer.

We pay from our wages. But we have no debt and savings to cover if required.

No help financially, we are up north which is more affordable/ achievable for average middle incomes x2, if they have one child.

Tbf to @fungipie it is true that a number of counties, maybe even many, have got rid of the state grammar system. None in my county nor the neighbouring ones.
164 schools is not many really.

What we still have are a) private schools calling themselves xxx grammar or high and b) state comps that have chosen to retain grammar in their name (QEGS at Ashbourne for example).

Here are the areas with state grammar schools. For those living in grammar areas, I don’t think many people realise that, in other areas, if a family wants an academically selective school the only option is to go private. Huge amounts of pupils live in non grammar areas

@Another76543 " For those living in grammar areas, I don’t think many people realise that, in other areas, if a family wants an academically selective school the only option is to go private. Huge amounts of pupils live in non grammar areas"

There are lots of things that people want that they have to pay for.

State education, entirely funded by the taxpayer, should not be a postcode lottery, in the same way that the NHS should have equal provision for the whole population.

@Another76543 "State education, entirely funded by the taxpayer, should not be a postcode lottery,"
I agree. An excellent reason for getting rid of grammar schools, so that 75% of children in those areas don't have to go to Secondary Moderns.

I think they should be rolled out further so that everyone has access to them (more parental choice is always good), or alternatively scrapped altogether. All children should have access to the same level of state education.

OP I don’t understand your post tax income. It doesn’t look right unless it’s only one salary and the reduction in the personal allowance is hitting hard.

@Another76543 I'll happily go with scrapped. There is absolutely no way of making the grammar school system even remotely fair.

I do think that there is an argument for having a wide variety of different types of schools to suit different children, but with the option of changing schools as a child develops and changes (a bit like the German system). However, all children should have equal access regardless of where they live, and should all receive the same funding. The system we have in the UK now certainly isn’t working and is failing too many children.

@Another76543 "However, all children should have equal access regardless of where they live, and should all receive the same funding."

That's what the comprehensive system does.