Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

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My child is in year 4 and so we’re having to start considering secondary schools. We have two good grammars in the area but the state schools available are woeful. The Grammars are very competitive to get in to. I went to one and tutoring for the 11+ was rare but now seems to be the norm, often starting in year 4. My children are both exceeding expectations in all areas at school but my eldest can get very anxious (but we think she would be cannon fodder in the local state schools) and I worry about how she will manage with the test and perceived pressure (note, I’m a principal scientist with a PhD and I struggled with some of the 11+ practice questions I looked at the other day!!). Some parents at my child’s school are opting for the local private school and I’m a bit flummoxed about how people are affording this. We don’t live in a particularly affluent area, one family have 3 in private school and run a very small business.
For disclosure we have a combined income of £130k, fees would amount to £2k/month, increasing to £3k as they got older (more of VAT is introduced). We currently save £1.7k a month in to savings but some of that then gets spent on holidays, home improvements etc so it’s not feasible at the moment to send both.

We’re wondering whether to try for the grammars and if one doesn’t get in we send one to private and if both don’t then we move.

They don’t all receive the same funding though. Those in the North invariably receive less.

Sorry-that's what a properly run comprehensive system does.

And children are streamed academically for all the main subjects, and are taught those subjects in groups of the same level, just as they would in a Grammar school, be it private or state.

Just to the east of Harrogate, Wetherby is having a new school built and Boston Spa is outstanding across all areas.

My advice is to choose a state school and spend some of the money you save on tutors, music lessons, sporting hobbies, enrichment activities and holidays. You will still have money left over after all of that - these private schools are EXPENSIVE - and you will probably have a much better quality of life too. So many people I know have been pouring money into their kids’ education only for them to end up at the exact same universities as contemporaries from comprehensives. The only real difference is that the private school kids generally seem less well able to study independently as they have been spoonfed all the way through A levels.

@fungipie "And children are streamed academically for all the main subjects, and are taught those subjects in groups of the same level, just as they would in a Grammar school, be it private or state."

If you mean set, not streamed then I agree with you. Most comprehensive schools do.

I have one at comprehensive in a grammar school area, and one due to go to the (stupidly competitive) grammars this September. And 20 years secondary teaching experience.

The top sets in the comp will be just the same as any grammar school. My eldest is far better there in top sets and thriving than they would have been struggling/slogging it out in the grammar school. Although bright, he struggles with self esteem and confidence and it was definitely the right choice for him, and it was his choice. Took 11+ etc.

Youngest is a different character and has got a grammar place which I think will suit that child.

So you have to see what's going to be the right environment for each child.

We require solely on income. We are planning for our DS to do his full 14 years at private school.

We paid off our mortgage before he was born and have been saving since he arrived to ensure we have a decent pot to fall back on if anything happens with work.

We will be retired before DS finishes school so if needed we can use some of the tax free pension lump sum to fund the last of the fees. With 45% tax relief on pension contributions it’s an efficient way to fund the later years of schooling.

Apologies, I have not RTFT. Have you looked at Ripon Grammar? If you are willing to move to North Yorkshire within catchment, or just outside, and tutor for a year or so (assuming your child is performing well) you should get in. I have no personal experience but it is what all my neighbours have done and they are delighted with the school. It also does v well in state school league tables.

I think there is a lot of grandparent help that doesn’t get talked about that openly, people will have done well re the timing of low interest mortgages etc. I think going forwards with the vat rises you’ve got to be looking at £200k plus to afford fees for two kids and even then with some planning and advance savings. Mortgages alone will be rising over the next few years as people come of fixed. I do think demographics will change where the pool of people who can afford it will shrink.

I think increasingly we are going to see more grandparents who offered a few years ago without quite realising what they were taking on and THEY will be in financial trouble from it. Thinking 'about £10k a year, we can do that' and then finding it's easily £15-20 k per child, for three children, for year after year after year, as their own costs and needs escalate.

DD's school offers an insurance plan to pay the tuition in case of illness and perhaps some other misfortunes. I believe it costs £50/term and it's opt-out, i.e., you're automatically billed for it unless you tell them you don't want it. It's provided by a private insurer, not by the school itself, and I've been fortunate enough not to need to find out exactly what it does or doesn't cover.

Around London there's also a lot of grandparent help that takes the form of housing, e.g., grandparents either bought a house in London 40-50 years ago and parents are now living in it with them, or grandparents downsized and used the proceeds to buy a house that the parents now live in. Technically, not (yet) an inheritance. I know several people who are probably earning less than £150k household incomes sending multiple children to private schools because their housing costs are de minimus.

Same here.

We earn way less than you do, OP.
No family inheritance or even help with childcare. The exorbitant nursery fees made us realise that we can afford a private secondary school.

What is this 'choose a state school'? We were allocated a place - take it or leave it. There was no alternative. And that school had just been judged inadequate by Ofsted who openly said it wasn't safe, and subsequently wound up the trust before handing it into the care of a new trust, causing years of disruption.

You must live in a more densely populated area with a choice of state senior schools. Not everyone does.

I tend to find that people who "don't understand" the need for Private Education have an at least half decent State option

We’re in Scotland where DD went to her catchment secondary school as do most students here. Said school is in the lower half of league tables and takes students from a wide demographic. In the 6 years she was there, there were daily fire alarms, disruptive students and the like but my goodness, what a fantastic education she received. She had some amazing teachers who went over and above what’s expected of them. She’s now finished 2nd year at Edinburgh University and is doing far better academically & on a social level than many of her peers who were privately educated.

The bottom line is there are good and bad teachers at every school and if a student wants to learn then they’ll do it at whatever school they’re at. I would recommend sending your kids to a local school & save what would have been spent on school fees to help them through university.

@Hoppinggreen "I tend to find that people who "don't understand" the need for Private Education have an at least half decent State option"

Really? I tend to find that people who talk about the need for private schools don't understand the meaning of the word "need."

I wonder what you mean by 'cannon fodder'?

This surprised me as well. Unless there is uni debt or some other debt coming out each month?
Surely however you earn £130000, you'd take home more than that?

We have two in private school one in senior and one in prep. We put aside £4k a month to pay for this - that includes fees, lunches, transport, trips etc etc and we have a "buffer" of £50k in case one of us is made redundant etc.
We've been frugal for a long time to be able to afford this - overpayed our mortgage for years, etc etc, so our outgoings are low.
We're both lucky to have decent salaries - around £12k per month between us after tax.

Pension contributions. I consider them separate to savings as I suspect OP does too.

Most state options are at least half decent. It's very strange how so many private school parents don't live near any of them.

(Not counting specialist SEN schools here; totally appreciate many of these children aren't accommodated in the mainstream state sector).

Wow so now we are happy for half decent?
Considering Northern schools receive less funding than Southern schools and that the NE has done of the worst outcomes in England I don't accept half decent!

The very reason many use private schools is because they don’t live near decent state schools so of course you’ll find a high percentage claiming the local state option is poor.

If the state schools near me were of a high standard I wouldn’t be using private schools. I’d much rather not have to spend 250k+ but don’t really have much choice.