Sorry to ask but how are people affording private education?

[Tsc2011]

My child is in year 4 and so we’re having to start considering secondary schools. We have two good grammars in the area but the state schools available are woeful. The Grammars are very competitive to get in to. I went to one and tutoring for the 11+ was rare but now seems to be the norm, often starting in year 4. My children are both exceeding expectations in all areas at school but my eldest can get very anxious (but we think she would be cannon fodder in the local state schools) and I worry about how she will manage with the test and perceived pressure (note, I’m a principal scientist with a PhD and I struggled with some of the 11+ practice questions I looked at the other day!!). Some parents at my child’s school are opting for the local private school and I’m a bit flummoxed about how people are affording this. We don’t live in a particularly affluent area, one family have 3 in private school and run a very small business.
For disclosure we have a combined income of £130k, fees would amount to £2k/month, increasing to £3k as they got older (more of VAT is introduced). We currently save £1.7k a month in to savings but some of that then gets spent on holidays, home improvements etc so it’s not feasible at the moment to send both.

We’re wondering whether to try for the grammars and if one doesn’t get in we send one to private and if both don’t then we move.

Hard work for many years with own business, no help from anyone ever. Husband first of his family to go to university and one of only three from his comp high school to go on to sixth form.

We pay all of the fees and any extras from our own income in the form of salary and dividends. At least 50k per year for two at senior school in Surrey. We have no mortgage and any VAT increase won't be a problem.

Combination of high joint salary and help from parents. Sometimes I do wonder though whether it would be more beneficial to send them to a state school and invest the money for them instead… It’s an awful lot of money. If mine were clever enough to get into a grammar school then I would probably go that route.

Family wealth.

We only have one DC, when he was at an independent school we paid the term upfront and there was a big discount for doing this. I don’t think they allowed paying whole year upfront because the annual price rise was often at time of Spring budget/end of financial yr.

At the time we earned around same as you but had smaller mortgage/house. They had bursaries available but I don’t think you’d qualify on your sort of salary.

I’d try moving to somewhere with schools you like better.

Re tutors - most people get one for private school entrance exams

Just to say, DH makes about the same gross and brings home about £6k per month. However, since we only moved to London a few years ago, we are not on the property ladder, so pay £3500/month in rent, as we live reasonably centrally. We have two children, so with a bursary, we still paid £3k per month for an independent school. As you can tell from the math, this did not work and we had to stop after a year. It's crazy that DH makes a substantial amount of money but it's completely impossible to send our DC private. At our old school, I think it was mostly expats with work paying, grandparents, and exceptionally high earners.

RadicalRadishes The issue here is your rent - £3.5k is astronomical. We're about to start private school fees for DS (eventually for DD as well) with a slightly higher income (£7.5k take home after large pension contribution) but our mortgage is £1.4K. There's no way we could even consider it if our mortgage was £2k higher.

3.5k is insane. We have higher household income but also made sure we’d paid off our mortgage prior to needing to pay DS fees.

We will both retire early though so need to make sure we have enough put away to pay the remainder of the fees as we won’t be earning for at least half of his school years.

We live in Central London. We couldn’t have a mortgage at £1.5k per month unless we had a 1bed flat or purchased 20 years ago. Our flat is well-located but is otherwise nothing special. We’ve not been in London long, so we didn’t have the luxury to buy a property pre-children.

You could supplement with private tutorage.

DH was much older by the time we had kids and had paid off the property etc.

Additionally school fees have gone crazy. There was no need for them to go so high. We don't need state of the art facilities. In the end, all we wanted was good academics but they started competing with each other, upgrading this that and the other to the point it's like a 5 star luxury experience which I find embarrassing.

I feel like I'm paying for a lot of stuff my kids will never ever use. It's bonkers and out of control to the point of no return.

I'd have gone for the 'value' range of private school if it had existed but sadly it didn't. The money is eye-watering even though we have it.

The money is eye-watering even though we have it.

Not any more you don't. 😁

You appear to be willing to relocate / consider a wide swathe of the country, are you both self employed or will you move jobs? Are you only willing to consider areas with grammars, which clearly impacts on the local non selective or would you consider an area with a good comprehensive? What does a good comprehensive mean to you in terms of progress, results and curriculum offer?

A little aside question to the OP and other in similar parts of UK. Do you think continuing to have state grammar schools has basically impacted negatively on the other state schools?

I’m always fascinated by their continued existence. Where I grew up the last cohort who could attend a state grammar school started secondary in 1973. We moved back to the city to be near my parents. There are 8 secondaries, only 2 might be described as ones parents feel are not great.

@New2024 i can’t speak nationally but in my local authority area, the the comprehensives in the grammar school area do better than the comprehensives in the non-grammar school adjoining local authorities.

That’s despite the comprehensives in the grammar area ‘losing out’ on the top students. So in my area at least the existence of the grammars seems to raise attainment for all the schools

OP, how much equity is in your house? If you move, could you reduce your mortgage payments and opt for private if the kids don’t get into grammar or a good comp?

OP,
At the heart of it, it is priorities!

For many, it is a considered decision. Not just a default one.

Some decide to put their money into private schooling for a variety of reasons:their perceived benefits, in some cases due to poor schooling in their area and in some cases due to additional needs and a host of other reasons.

When a family have the extra cash, some choose to put it into pensions, better holidays and better housing and lifestyle.

I know of a family who have a daughter in grammar but were not sure if the younger sibling will get in. So, they decided to bid a house close to a very high performing comprehensive. The reality is these houses don't come cheap. They certainly have the money to send both to private ( their new house is million plus, in the poshest street in town), but have chosen not to.

If you are reliant on the household income, in the case of Day private schools, many parents are making lots of balancing budgets and using monthly payment plans. It may be different for the boarding types, where the fees go significantly higher even for day pupils.

Things might be different if you have a lumpsum and there may be clever investment options. Not sure if it brings any tax benefits though. Someone else might know more.

move somewhere with good comprehensive options. All private school kids end up as awful adults.

🤣
You know the opposite argument to this is "all state school kids end up on the dole" don't you?
How many privately educated people do you actually know? What experience do you have of private schools?

DS won a scholarship, so I pay half fees. I'm a single mum and have an income of about a third of yours.

I knew ds was bright, but the local state schools were not good, so I started saving when DS was in year 3, scrapped holidays except school trips completely, cut back on my spending where I could.

By the time he started in year 7, I had three years' fees saved. Now he's doing his gcses, I have enough in savings to cover the A'level years plus a little extra. He's on track for 8s & 9s. We're nearly there. 🙂

@Rosesanddaisies1 also this isn't a post discussing the pros/cons of private school so your comment is unnecessary

Very interesting.

Years of frugal living despite above average salaries. Pensions/mortgage/ISAs are looking healthy in our mid 30’s. We can stop saving for a few years while the kids are in education, then start up again after.

For those saying giving them a house deposit is better, I disagree. Education is priceless. Hopefully they’ll go on to earn multiples of what we earn.

I know people who have done it on incomes below £100k. For them, the key was having paid off their mortgage early. That freed up a considerable amount towards fees each month. Additionally, they had a good chunk of savings and drew several hundred pounds per month from that towards the fees.

These are people who have had decent public sector jobs but have never quite got into higher tax rate territory - but with 2 of them earning just below £50k each they also receive child benefit. They bought fairly young, had some benefits of rising house prices and overpaid their mortgages,so by the time their kids entered private school (into Yr3 - did infants in state schools to save fees and vice more time to built the savings pot) they were in their early 40s and had just become mortgage free. With the mortgage payments still there, they wouldn’t have been able to do it.

These are also people who will look to retire early. They’ve maintained paying into their public sector pensions and by mid to late 50s will be able to stop working.

Work pays for ours, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to afford it without some lifestyle changes.

The advantage of buying a house near a good comprehensive school is that you have an asset that you can sell at a time of your choosing. Unless the performance of the school nosedives, the house is likely to retain or increase its value.

In contrast, money spent on private school is gone. The only "return" you will get on it is the advantage you think your child may have drawn from it compared to a good state school option. For some people that may feel significant, but much less so for many others.