Terrible bullying- can I remove dd from her private school- right before her GCSEs?

[Seniorschooldesperation]

I’m currently desperate for advice.
Dd is 16 and has been at her current private school for 5 years. Throughout these 5 years dd has been the target of a group of bully girls in her year group. There was a very serious incident 3 years ago that resulted in the suspension of several girls and the expulsion of one.
The main antagonist has never been punished. This bully is very devious and clever and insatiable in her appetite for dd.
Recently the bully ( female also 16) has dramatically upped her behaviour. I believe the reasoning behind this is she’s leaving after GCSEs in June so she can do what she wants.
So this week this bully actually elbowed me in the back (yes a parent) and followed my husband and I around parents evening heckling us - apparently no one noticed this.
The bully has been asked to keep out of my dds house while an investigation takes place but consistently disobeys and shouts through the Window to other students and has entered twice in 2 days.
Currently such is this bully’s sphere of influence - no one talks to my dd anymore. Dad sits in her dorm at lunch and hides there alone at every opportunity (dd only boards on a Friday night but has a dorm). Dd is ridiculed and jeered at by said bully and all of dds ex friends who’re now the bullies friends. They block her from leaving lessons talk trash about her and recently along with writing on a wall saying dd is a man there was a photoshopped photo sent around to students saying dd is a transgender man.
The investigation concludes today. However the bully has been laughing uproariously at her friends who are being interviewed and she’s heavily involved in shaping the outcome. Which will be nothing.
Dd is currently calling me begging me to come and collect her.
What the hell do I do?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated

I am rooting for you so much.

Your DD will never forget this. She will never forget how you and DH had her back, stood up for her and most of all. You believe her. She will carry this for life.

for you all. Give DD a hug from me

Forget about the money. It is a sunk cost and your DD’s well being is for life. You are doing the right thing OP.

Forget the school call the police, ths almost afult assaulted you as well as your DD. She is also breaking the equality act with the trans stuff.

Threeten the school with court action for not protecting your dd

threaten sorry for the typo

I will pm you. Just a bit busy at the moment. I wrote a speech so I didn’t go off piste. Yes, we were faced with three members of staff and not just the Head. DH might encounter this.

Thinking of you!

I have found just repeating things very helpful in the past eg:

School: dd did this
Parent: well that was after this...

Your DD has been so brave. I remember reading an article about how the Duchess of Cambridge had to be pulled out of Downe House due to bullying, teenage girls can be absolute bitches.

Even today dd has received several emails today in her school account from a fellow pupil - who is semi friendly with dd and sometimes dd hangs out in her dorm.
The email is accusing dd of stealing items from her dorm.
I will not be surprised if the stolen items do indeed turn up in dds dorm room- the fact that dd hasn’t been in school for days doesn’t appear to matter.

And the bully will have put the ‘fellow pupil’ up to it. But you won’t be able to prove a thing. It’s exhausting.
I’m really impressed with your approach above and letting DH deal with the negotiation and setting down your terms!

It’s part of the ostracism. Vile!! But she’s out of it now so ignore it and block! Hope she’s not replied.

Is there a way of blocking contact from the bully's minions?

You have to involve the police and tell the school that the will not be getting another bean from you from now on.

Tell them you’ll go to local press too, let their neighbours know what kind of shot show they are running.

You have all been utterly failed by them.

quad not really - it’s a school email. I suspect dds been set up but the real thief didn’t know I’d taken dd home early on Tuesday— which is just as well because I received an email from the deputy head on Tuesday telling me they had put more staff in the house to ensure the bully couldn’t come in, (the bully doing what she’s asked and staying away is apparently not a possibility), and of course she was in the house on Tuesday.
Dd told me that while the emails have upset her it is a world away from the day she would have had if she’d have been in school.
Everyday it’s something and the bully’s net is wide.

Dh has just left for the meeting and my stomach is in knots. I’m not really sure why because we’ve got a plan and dd is not going back no matter what.

Shut the curtains and stick a movie on for you and DD if you can. It will make the time go and be super cosy x

honestly, I would now do exactly as Georgia suggested. I'd phone the police - regardless of the outcome of the school's investigation.

With the latest update from OP, it seems this nasty bully is like a virus infecting anyone that comes within its reach. People seem to lose all sense of rationale once she has spoken to them and simply follow her instructions. Sounds like an all round horrible school.

This thread is the most unbelievable thing I have read in a long time. The bully girls family must have some kind of influence in the school. I just can't imagine how she is getting away with it otherwise. How can teachers witness this bullying and turn a blind eye? Sounds like they are scared of the bully themselves.

There are probably people reading this whose DDs go to that school. Please please name and shame them - even if you wait until after GCSEs.

Thinking of you Op. Good luck to you all. Hope it all works out for the best for your DD 💗

This thread is the most unbelievable thing I have read in a long time. The bully girls family must have some kind of influence in the school. I just can't imagine how she is getting away with it otherwise. How can teachers witness this bullying and turn a blind eye? Sounds like they are scared of the bully themselves.

There are probably people reading this whose DDs go to that school. Please please name and shame them - even if you wait until after GCSEs.

Thinking of you Op. Good luck to you all. Hope it all works out for the best for your DD

Sorry for the double post!

Bullying like this does happen. A girl at my dd’s school was victimised by pupils and teachers alike. A parent witnessed some of the bullying and contacted the school about it. She didn’t even receive an acknowledgment.

Good luck to your dd in the meeting.

The most important thing here is that your dd will remember you and her dad fighting for her.

She can do GCSEs and college in her time. Education is a marathon and not a sprint.

I've been following your thread. You've done the right thing by keeping your DD home. She sounds very resilient. I hope her 6th form years go at least some way to redeeming this experience.

Good luck with the meeting today.

I was bullied all through senior school - by the age of 14 I was having suicidal thoughts - and my mum did nothing.

You and your dh are being absolute heroes, @Seniorschooldesperation, and I hope that your dh’s meeting with the school gets the results you all want for your dd.

I've nothing useful to add but as someone who was bullied I am cheering you on and hoping your dd feels loved and supported.