As the Tiffin results day looms, a second 2019 SW London grammars and indies thread

[FlumePlume]

A new thread to avoid the doomsday scenario of running out of posts as envelopes are opened on Friday, waiting lists move (or don’t) and e-mails are opened on 1 March.

1ndig0 indeed!

We decided holding out for Tiffin when in our hearts we won’t send DD there was just prolonging the agony, and DD is very happy and relieved that we will no longer be quizzing her about WHS vs Tiffin and her not wanting to let us down in some way. Too much pressure on young shoulders.

So right, Jimjam, we also decided not to prolong our dd’s uncertainty and worry about choosing ‘wrongly’, and just go for SPGS, without hanging on for Tiffin or the hope of a WHS place from the waiting list.

Good news FlumePlume! Your DD is going to a fabulous school and I hope she is very happy there.

Indigo - where did you choose in the end? Lost track

We decided the same about TGS. No point prolonging the decision when our hearts weren’t in the school. So relieved to have made a decision. Well done all of those who have firmed up offers. Good luck for tomorrow for those waiting for state options/waiting lists.

@1ndig0 your point on boys and girls is spot on. I have a DS and DD and the number of options open to DD is far wider than DS in SW London. There is definitely a discrepancy. Anyone up for opening a top SW boys school?

Send your deposits this way

Hi, I've just found this thread, some great info, thanks all. We're stuck trying to decide between a WHS offer and an academic scholarship for Surbiton. (We've turned down KGS which we love - older DD goes there), but cannot all agree on final choice.
Any advice on either would be much appreciated...need to make a decision tomorrow!

We did the same thing last year. We'd been thinking of Tiffin since forever but in the end we just liked SPGS more and thought it would be bad to hang on to more than one offer when other girls were waiting. We accepted SPGS before state offers came out and declined Tiffin as soon as we received the offer. Hope our decline made someone else really happy!

Do the Tiffin results come out today? Am hoping that they will nudge the Wimbledon waitlist in our direction..

Bool - in the end, we went for G&L. I was told yesterday that we were “very unusual” for choosing it over SPGS, but it was a personal thing. We know a lot of people with DDs at G&L and nobody has a bad word to say. We just felt it was the right level of academic pressure v pastoral and I’m all about good mental health (hopefully)! going into the teen years. Not that G&L will be exactly pressure-free, of course. I see friends of my elder DC at LU who who were the high fliers going into Year 7, who are finding it all too much by Year 11 and trying to drop subjects / in therapy / other worrying behaviours. It really has been quite scary to see. There is so much pressure on these kids. All these schools are top of the league tables nationally and there’s a reason for this. DD also turned down an academic scholarship at another school more into town which we absolutely loved and might have gone for had it been equally convenient to G&L. This is despite the fact, on paper, G&L gets something like 98% A-A* and this other school gets around 86%. So those are the “headline stats” they tell you on the open days, but it’s hard to gauge how that would translate into the different levels of pressure once in the school?

Anyway, what’s done is done and thank god for that! Glad to hear everyone is making their decisions.

Congrats 1indig0*. You've done the right thing for your DD. It's hard when you have this 'should' pressure from others and yourself, but you've stuck to your guns. As you say, all of these schools will by pressurised (and they will all be high achieving - it's easy to forget that when you're in the bubble of deciding one school against the other!) but pick the one you will know your DD will be happier at. You will get the same brilliant teaching at G&L. I know girls there who are very happy and parents rave about it. Well done.

jitterbugs. Which is closer / easier to get to? Is your DD sporty? Surbiton is definitely the sportier school, but loads of other activities, clubs too. Surbiton is a bit cheaper, and the scholarship will make it even cheaper. Add up what you will save over the years. Does this make a difference to you? Your DD is obviously a very clever girl. She will do just as well in either school. Which one do you think she will be happier at?

Thesunalwaysshines Wimbledon is 15mins walk which is why DH and I are preferring it. Surbiton good transport links from Wimbledon. She's v sporty which is one of the reasons DD likes Surbiton and yes about 5K cheaper per year which would be v nice but trying not to let it away my decision. DD wants Surbiton because most of her friends are going there (seems WHS v hard/weird to get into this year).
I know she will do fine at both and she is "typical" WHS girl (even though they assured us they don't just pick alpha girls). DD really liking the fact that she got scholarship to Surbiton and that has been such a confidence boost due to recent Dyslexia diagnosis. I am undecided whether being middle in WHS is better than Scholar at SHS? Still leaning towards WHS due to no travel...

Jitterbugs- agree that if wildly different journeys go for closer.
DD is in year 7 at WHS and is very happy. She has friends at Surbiton who are also very happy. It is a much bigger school though.
Neither have huge amounts of outside space on site so that's not really a deciding factor.
DD loves being in the middle of Wimbledon.
I know a few people with kids at both WHS and KGS and they say they are very similar in terms of pastoral care, types of parents etc.

Crossed posts!

As you say, transport good to Surbiton from Wimbledon, but 15 min walk appealing. Tough if her friends are going there too. If she weren't sporty, I would say WImbledon, but the sport at Surbiton fantastic. For me , all this combined I would say Surbiton (plus £35K saved towards Uni!), but obvs your choice!

I am curious as to how you handle it if, as per jitterbugs above, you want one school and your DD wants another?

Jitterbugs. Sounds like WHS will be great for your DD!

In reference to academic schools and mental health issues. This can happen in any of them. Nurturing or not. However, where I have seen this to happen. It is most the result from the parents who pushed the kids to the limit to get a place into these schools. Unfortunately, schools do not seem to pick up this at the selection process. Even thought they claim they do.

@jitterbugs sounds like your DD is set on Surbiton. Scholarship, sporty and with her friends. Ufff decisions decisions!

Ps. On the alpha girls thing, I know two girls who got WHS, but not KGS, and one who didn't get G&L but got WHS. However, I think somewhere on this thread, someone with a DD who got SPG but not WHS. I think it will be a mix.

@1ndig0 congrats on G&L!

Jitterbugs my daughter is YR 7 Surbiton and we live in Wimbledon.
We turned down WHS but only off the wait list.
Surbiton is incredible for sport , we have been blown away by the sheer amount , dedication of staff and the successes. My DD represents the school in football, hockey, athletics and more.
However she is also taking part in plays , fashion shows, choirs etc there is so much going on.
She has scholars in her class and they seem to be well catered and its great they are setting the academic bar high as well.
Travel wise the great thing about Surbiton is they group via locality - her class is majority Wimbledon. She travels on the train and it has massively boosted her independence, and organisation.

There are buses but many seem to prefer the trains.
There seems to be a wide mix at Surbiton of girls from many backgrounds, talents and abilities.
Surbiton does have its faults but we are delighted so far and very confident we took the right option.
I think if your DD likes sport and competing then you cant go wrong with Surbiton.
If you have any questions feel free to DM or ask away .good luck with your decision !

Good luck today for all those needing/wanting state offers x

WHS waiting list is definitely moving! Two friends have had calls this morning. Could be worth getting in touch if you’re on the WL and say you can be straight there with the deposit!

Good luck with the state offers too.