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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Boarding school - will I regret it?

294 replies

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:11

dd1 wants to go to boarding school (will cost us around £3k per year max), of course is is competitive entry so she may not get in.

BUT if she does I send her what are the down sides that I haven't thought of. BTW she is very academically able and the school she will attend other wise has been bottom/near bottom of the league tables for years despite huge amount of investment after it failed.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 25/02/2007 14:37

Oh yes, you'll have "friends all over the world" (mostly Japan ) but be a stranger in your own family.

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:38

lol

weekly boarding is the answer then

or if you worry send to the local school

but don't believe the if she is bright she will do well anywhere theory that is ground out all the time either

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:38

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foxinsocks · 25/02/2007 14:38

you'll miss her terribly too buffy

AntEater · 25/02/2007 14:39

how 'NORMAL' is the cod ???

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:39

she will still be the por kid at this school won't she?

state boarding schools if that is what it is are packed with rich kids too

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:39

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fishie · 25/02/2007 14:39

oh yes cod that is the worst thing about my mum, she doesn't have any close friends she never learned how to make them.

daisy1999 · 25/02/2007 14:39

seems to me like you've already decided to send her. Personally I had children in order that I could be there for them when they needed me. I'd hate to think that they were living somewhere where the only emotional support was someone who was paid to do it and that there was nobody there who was just for my child and had an emotional attachment to them. Nobody to give them a cuddle when they needed it.

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:39

that'll be china actually greeny

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:40

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WanderingTrolley · 25/02/2007 14:40

I went to a day school that did the whole repress-your-feelings, shut-up-and-put-up, be-happy-here-or-you're-a-weirdo thing.

Guess it depends on the school, I know someone who was happy at boarding school (though she is now a hooooooge control freak, not sure if related)

Can you send her and take her out if she hates it, maybe move to an area with a better school in the meantime?

foxinsocks · 25/02/2007 14:40

I will always remember some poor child wailing out of her dorm window at night - she was HOWLING for her mum and you could hear her wails right from the other end of the school (shudder). Poor little thing.

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 25/02/2007 14:41

also think about the relationship she will have with her siblings. her siblings will get to eat home cooked food every night, sleep in their own bed, get up and eat breakfast at their own table. she will have none of that.

"it signifies the start of a new life for a child"

that's right, the start of a new life, which you won't be a part of.

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:41

how far away is it?

if it is just because it is cheap and seems possible then not good reasdons imo

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:41

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Greensleeves · 25/02/2007 14:41

On the upside, she'll be an expert liar, be used to showering in freezing cold water and be able to drink half a bottle of neat vodka without wobbling

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:41

Message withdrawn

Original poster
BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:41

It would be termly boarding - 10 weeks I think but with at LEAST 2 weekends at home within that time.

I shall go visit her every Sunday then and during the week?

I found secondary school a huge shift a lot of growing up on my own etc. Perhaps because I didn't have a loving supportive relationship with my parents, I just don't understand what she would be so different? I had to do everything to do with school/my life on my own if I couldn't walk/cycle/get the bus there then I couldn't do it. I was bullied for 5 years never told my parents and I lived home, I was depressed, suicidal, skipped school etc etc etc they never noticed.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:42

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RustyBear · 25/02/2007 14:42

My BIL is a diplomat, so he & my sister had the choice between boarding school & changing schools every three years.

Both my DNs went to exactly the same boarding schools, from the age of 8 but have turned out totally differently - one is very independent & organises himself efficiently, the other has the organisational skills of a starfish.

Both of them are very close to both their parents though.

Not sure what (if anything) this shows - but I do know I'd never have sent my two to boarding school.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:43

Message withdrawn

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:43

your reasons are getting worse tbh

too much reflection on you put on her

I feel doesn't sound like a good match to me yet

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 25/02/2007 14:44

and I was actually happy at boarding school.

I made lasting friends, friends who I am still friends with today despite them living halfway around the world.

I learned to be independent

I wasn't bullied

wasn't depressed

didn't do drugs or alcohol

but the effect on my relationship with my parents is irreverseable.

I would never send my child. he is a child. as a parent it is my job to bring him up, to nurture him. not to send him away to be brought up by someone else.

WanderingTrolley · 25/02/2007 14:44

you people are murdering my malory towers/st clare's illusions you know.

Should we write a follow up, where the twins are crack whores and that Billy with the horse is dribbling and mumbling into her, er, supermarket trolley?

Sorry for being flippant - clearly boarding school can be v grim.