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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Boarding school - will I regret it?

294 replies

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:11

dd1 wants to go to boarding school (will cost us around £3k per year max), of course is is competitive entry so she may not get in.

BUT if she does I send her what are the down sides that I haven't thought of. BTW she is very academically able and the school she will attend other wise has been bottom/near bottom of the league tables for years despite huge amount of investment after it failed.

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zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:14

how is it so cheap are you getting it paid for by someone else?

if she wants to go and gets in then if she likes it apart from missing her during term time (is it full boarding or weekly?)

then none really

if she doesn't like it/settle in then you can take her out

CAMy · 25/02/2007 14:14

£3k per year

Are you sure? Where is that school?

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 25/02/2007 14:14

the effect it will possibly have on your relationship.

I went to boarding school, and being among friends instead of with my parents meant that I confided in friends and even teachers if I needed someone to talk to. I would never talk to my parents now about anything. I think boarding school had a huge part to play in that.

gothicmama · 25/02/2007 14:15

costs of extra activities uniform food etc

NotanOtter · 25/02/2007 14:16

buffy - i would have loved it - does sound awfully cheap

gothicmama · 25/02/2007 14:16

sorry you would need to consider those and the emotional side of it all

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:16

Message withdrawn

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:17

fees are means tested.

They are encouraged to come home every 3rd weekend and you can go visit them during the week and we live close enough to do this. I lived with my parents and I never told them anthing and still never do?

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katelyle · 25/02/2007 14:19

Why would you want to do something which means that your daughter is away from you, home, home influences, siblings, pets etc for more more than half the year? I can't see an upside, personally. Just my opinion though!

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:19

is it a state boarding school then?

Beetrootccio · 25/02/2007 14:19

3K per year? or term?

Some boarding it s good some not - I would not like my kids to board at the school they are at now for example.

NotanOtter · 25/02/2007 14:20

lots of children round us board and seem very happy
I think certain children thrive- my daughter says she would like it

day pupils are £3000 a term round us and boarders at lest £6-7 k

still seems cheap

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:20

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BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:21

can afford the other costs as ex will go halves on it all (although I can't see the younger ones going but don't think academically they are in the same league anyway).

She is very sociable - we hardly ever see her as she's always out.

Will I just miss her too much? Or will absence make the heart grow fonder?

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zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:22

I still can't get my head round the costs

at that rate the fees would be fully paid and the boarding subsidised too

surely the competition must be huge

that aside my ds has just gone to college after secodnary boarding and he finds it strange if i ask him if he minded boarding think his last reply was it was better than having to go every day

he has picked a college to go to which is exactly like his school so it can't have been that bad

Beetrootccio · 25/02/2007 14:23

what age is she?

Greensleeves · 25/02/2007 14:23

I boarded and "seemed very happy". Despite the self-harming and alcoholism and general suicidal out-of-controlness that my parents knew nothing about, because they weren't there.

I wouldn't let my children within 50 yards of a boarding school. I want to bring them up myself, not outsource them to strangers who are doing it for money.

But I know lots of people feel very differently, including some of the people I went to school with. Tough decision.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:23

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BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:24

The reality is though if I don't send her she will go to a really bad school ie it will be a good year if there are more than 5 pupils who carry on their edcation past 16! She is very bright and I can't see how it will cater for her needs - I just see the being bullied for being bright, wanting to work etc

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FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:24

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CocoLoco · 25/02/2007 14:24

Boarding has changed a lot, there are so many holidays and exeats, there's flexi boarding, there's email and mobile phones so you're not cut off from your child - a majority of the older ones at my children's school board, mine might when they're older, if they want to (my 12 year old would like to board now!)

It depends on the school and the child. I think I'd have been happier boarding than I was at the day school I went to.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:25

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zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:25

but presumably her sibs will have to go to the really awful school..maybe you should consider moving to a better catchment area and or splitting the 3k between them for extra education

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:25

Message withdrawn

daisy1999 · 25/02/2007 14:25

do you really want other people bringing up your child?

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