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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Boarding school - will I regret it?

294 replies

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:11

dd1 wants to go to boarding school (will cost us around £3k per year max), of course is is competitive entry so she may not get in.

BUT if she does I send her what are the down sides that I haven't thought of. BTW she is very academically able and the school she will attend other wise has been bottom/near bottom of the league tables for years despite huge amount of investment after it failed.

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 25/02/2007 14:26

Boarding school doesn't eradicate the risk of being bullied for being bright or for any other reason, though. I just means you won't see it or have any control over it, and she will have to rely on other people (who don't love her) for support rather than you.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:26

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Original poster

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:26

It is secondary only. Competition is fierce partly academic and then they have a weekend away and they select then so I presume they are looking for children who they think will do well there and cope with it.

I'd like to think I'd be aware enough to look through any show she puts on - her Dad is very perceptive with her too, they are very close.

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:27

it doesn't amount to other people bringing up child they have well long holidays

there are lots of kids whose parents are abroad and divorced like us for example!

Beetrootccio · 25/02/2007 14:28

could she go live with her dad?

CocoLoco · 25/02/2007 14:29

"do you really want other people bringing up your child?"

Well why send them to school at all then, why not home educate and spend all your time with them? Lots of teenagers would rather be spending time with their friends than their parents.

Greensleeves · 25/02/2007 14:29

Yes, most parents of boarding children would like to think that. But it's not the case, unfortunately. Boarding schools teach children how to act normally when they are dying inside, how to detach themselves from their feelings and "get on with things". It's what they were designed for.

Original poster

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:30

There are 6 school years between the eldest two - I really do hope that the local school has improved by then or we would try and move (plus I could work then without childcare costs) but we can't afford to move now.

Yes children can be bullied anywhere. I just want to see if there is anything that I really haven't thought of at all. I don't like the idea of strangers bringing up my child but I could get killed in car crash and that would happen!

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:30

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Original poster

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:32

Her dad only has a one bed flat (and has mortgaged himself to the hilt to afford that) and the schools aren't really any better around him plus he works full time and very odd shifts!

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 25/02/2007 14:32

In Staffs, it was a little place not very well-known

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:32

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zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:32

all you can consider is the best for your child

is the local school that bad

bullying takes place everywhere

she might be happier boarding or she might hate it

I do however get really annoyed that people won't allow the fact that some kids go to boarding shcool and grow up happily not as depressed alcoholics and they have good lving rleationships with fam,ily and friends

daisy1999 · 25/02/2007 14:33

coco [hmm} ???
slightly off the point there I think.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:34

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Original poster

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:34

so cod/greeny what do I really have to go and look at when I visit the school to evaluate what there emotional support is like? Personally I would have rather lived anywhere than at my parents - you can live at home at be scarred for life you know!

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:35

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foxinsocks · 25/02/2007 14:35

have mailed you cod

is she termly boarding Buffy?

I honestly think going to boarding school signifies the start of a new life for a child (where they learn to fend for themselves) and it also changes the relationship you have with her for ever. I didn't mind boarding (but then my home life was all over the place and I didn't board for long) but it can be incredibly lonely.

zippitippitoes · 25/02/2007 14:35

if it's mixed day and boarding maybe it's different ds had friends local to school and went to see them after school just like being at home, sleepovers etc

went to village shop

rode bike etc etc

and as a bonus has a huge number of friends from allover the world too

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:35

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FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:36

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Greensleeves · 25/02/2007 14:36

Sundays at boarding school are terminally bleak and depressing.

Original poster

BuffysMum · 25/02/2007 14:37

yes the local school is that bad for her needs.

We could try and get scholarships to the local private schools (plenty of them within walking distance) but I think you would have to be very strong to be the poor kid amongst so much money etc

OP posts:

fishie · 25/02/2007 14:37

my mum was sent to boarding school and absolutely loathed it, she felt very detached and was never close to her parents as a result. mil was brought up in trinidad and went to school there rather than being boarded back in UK, she was thoroughly happy. its a sad comparison.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/02/2007 14:37

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