School/home contract...

[TaperJeanGirl]

Dd1 is starting secondary in September, I have just had the school/home contract through the post...and I don't agree with all of it! Some of it is common sense like making sure they are in school in correct uniform and on time, and similar, the part I don't agree with is the detentions, they want me to agree to them being able to keep her up to 15 mins after school without notifying me, this will cause problems on the 2 weekdays she does an outside school activity, and also cause me huge problems because I will be collecting her at 3.15 and then going on to nursery and school for my younger dcs..they also give out Saturday morning detentions..can't they even do this? Again, this would mean her ( and possibly 3 more of my children ) missing an out of school activity, that's paid for in advance, I suppose what I'm asking is did anybody else disagree with the schools contract? The after school detention is easily sorted if they could just text me or let her text me to tell me she will be 15 mins late and I could do the other pick ups first, but the Saturday morning detentions just won't be happening...can they withdraw her place if I don't agree?

Two pencil cases, so that they are less likely to leave their stuff at home. Saves having to check every single day.

I have a sporty boy, and we have two pairs of trainers, two sets of sports kit etc. We just keep a clean set in his games bag at all times, and he carries ALL of his books with him (which I think is madness, but he's happier doing it that way).

Ds's school have a supply of very basic filled pencil cases you can buy from the library for £1.

My ds has several times passed up some of his lunch to avoid a detention!

The no notice detentions came about through government policy in response to parents refusing to allow their children to attend detentions.
However, for most schools this is, quite frankly, just not practical. My own school has a policy of 24 hours notice (at least) and a letter is sent home. I tend to also call/email as sometimes letters don't make it home.

I didn't agree to after school detentions, saturdays were not issued due to teachers not wanting to be there on saturday.
I have been known to go in and take my child out if it was necessary.

They should be prepared to work around after school activities and have detentions at lunch/ break time.
Of course they should be a deterrent and I have nothing against them as a form of discipline, but not outside school time.

What about those who use school transport and can't get home any other way.

OP, in my experience, students tend to leave their pencil cases at home, not all students and not all of the time but it's quite a frequent occurrence in Years 7 and 8. It makes it annoying for them and the teacher as typically they will be trying to borrow a pen from a different friend in each class, who will probably be sat on the other side of the class, and then get in trouble for talking or being out of their seat at the start of the lesson. In lessons where more than the basic equipment is needed (e.g. Maths - compasses, calculator, protractor) it is a real pain to have forgotten the pencil case.

Also sometimes students leave them behind at school at the end of the day, typically in the last lesson of the day when they're "rushing" off to the bus / see friends / after school club / locker, etc.

Therefore it can be a good idea to keep the "school" pencil case in the locker or always in the school bag, then have a separate "home" pencil case on the homework desk at home - the stuff in this one could be a bit more basic. Then it doesn't matter if siblings (or parents) borrow something from the "home" pencil case and forget to put it back.

"I have been known to go in and take my child out if it was necessary."

Blimey. I wonder how that attitude transfers itself to your children!

It must be mortifying for a secondary school kid having their mum marching into the school.

I was thinking the same, BerriesandLeaves!

Let's hope she doesn't get a Saturday detention which you refuse to take her to. That would cause a huge issue. We had that happen once and the boy ended up with an internal exclusion (he walked out of this because his mum said he didn't need to do it) and then a fixed term exclusion, his mum sent him into school because she didn't agree with it, he got sent home. Ultimately he was permanently excluded a year later. The sad thing was that he really wasn't that bad, he just had his mum constantly telling him he didn't have to do what the school said. With a more supportive parent he would have got through, I'm sure.

OP - don't spend your time looking for excuses and reasons why your child shouldn't have the same rules applied to her. It will bite you on the bum in years to come. If you accept a school, you need to also accept that it is a fixed price menu and not an à la carte selection when it comes to rules and procedures.

Probably be a massive drip feed in a minute Locked. "My children went to school on the Titanic and it was 14/4/12."

as the teachers are generally experienced, intelligent, sensible professionals, they will understand that children transitioning from primary school may need a little leeway whilst they get used to secondary school

to an extent yes. I remember walking downstairs one day and seeing my son's PE kit sitting by the door. I toyed with the idea of taking it to schoool for him, effectively bailing him out, but (a) I didn't know when his PE lesson was, and (b) he needed to learn. He came home and said he'd had a breaktime detention as it was a first offence, but not an after-school one. He hasn't forgotten since. But breaktime detentions aren't recorded anywhere and parents aren't told. The after-school ones are generally for more serious infractions but would include things like forgetting or not doing homework, or leaving your Maths equipment at home. I do think it's a bit unfair at ds's school because not everyone has a locker, as they don't have enough of them, and so they have a ballot. I'd assumed as he didn't get a locker in year 8 he'd get priority for year 9 but they don't' work it like that. So we didn't bother putting his name in the ballot this time. But obviously, if you don't have a locker, you are more likely to leave things at home.

gillybeanz
"I have been known to go in and take my child out if it was necessary."

What do you mean by necessary?

They should be prepared to work around after school activities and have detentions at lunch/ break time.

Why should a teacher/s miss their lunch because your child has misbehaved?

Boney The teacher will be on duty or in a meeting at lunchtime anyway...

Boney

My ds1 excelled at a team sport, he was needed every day straight after school.
He played at county and then National level.

His school had whole class detentions and single detentions after school.
I wasn't prepared for him to do them and neither was his coach.

He could be detained every lunch time and break if he had misbehaved, but after school was non negotiable.

I would be the same with dd if she was state school, but not applicable at her school as any detentions are time tabled and they don't miss anything of importance, probably Maths or Science.

DS school have an exclusion room where disruptive kids are sent to for disrupting a lesson - so the rest can learn - these are recorded -

They have homework stamps and homework clubs at lunch of homework isn't completed

They have behaviour stamps and can go straight to detention - usually parents informed as it takes place in Thursday's and Friday's after school

Sport teams won't take them if they receive detentions -

Parental meeting are called for violent behaviour of any sort

Things still happen but I'm confident the staff deal with it.

If she gets a detention you should support the school and not whine about a missed after school club - younger kids or not -

Most kids do conform to school rules - others obviously need extra help - but the rules still apply.

Several of our students are involved with a development programme for a premiership rugby team. They are expected to maintain reasonable grades. School work and detentions take priority over training. Most coaches I've come across feel the same. Not everyone who plays at that level at that age makes it (for a variety of reasons).
Negotiation with teachers is often possible, but this attitude of my child will NOT do this ever doesn't tend to go down well.
To be fair it's perfectly possible to avoid a Saturday detention or indeed an after school. In my time as a form tutor at my current school (11 years) only 3 have received an after school and none a Saturday detention. They should not be common occurrences or they lose impact.

Doctor

There was no negotiating at this school, and detentions were handed out like smarties.
I wasn't going to put up with it and don't agree with whole class detentions either.
Don't get me wrong I/we had no problem with any other time and would fully support the school, we can't be the only parents not to agree with after school/ saturday detentions.

But if you pull your child out of an after-school detention they are deemed to have deserved, you aren't supporting the school, are you Gillybeanz?

Most schools/teachers don't agree with whole class detentions.
To be quite frank, if in the incident I referred to up thread the parents had said 'they didn't agree with Saturday detentions' and not supported the school, I would have pressed charges as I had every right to do.

But gilly if the detention doesn't happen after school then the teacher has to miss their break or lunchtime. And that's not acceptable when they get no time at all. That school was very poorly led if all children had after school detentions, except for those whose parents felt it was "non-negotiable".

PE staff where I have worked have always been supportive of whole school behaviour policies. So too are the vast vast majority of parents to be fair.

LockedOutOfMN
The teacher will be on duty or in a meeting at lunchtime anyway...

Not generally, I know of no state schools where teachers are paid during lunch. Unless it is a separate paid lunch duty, in which case they will be on the playground.

gillybeanz

So what did his coach do that made him behave?

Boney, we may not be paid but I am busy most lunch times doing extra curricular activities or supporting students who have asked for my help.

Teachers didn't miss lunch during detentions when I was in school - we were just left in the room and told we had better be there when they come back (the one time it happened to me the teacher forgot to come back). I expect it would have been escalated to after school detention if weren't there when they came back.