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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

School/home contract...

204 replies

TaperJeanGirl · 27/07/2016 20:25

Dd1 is starting secondary in September, I have just had the school/home contract through the post...and I don't agree with all of it! Some of it is common sense like making sure they are in school in correct uniform and on time, and similar, the part I don't agree with is the detentions, they want me to agree to them being able to keep her up to 15 mins after school without notifying me, this will cause problems on the 2 weekdays she does an outside school activity, and also cause me huge problems because I will be collecting her at 3.15 and then going on to nursery and school for my younger dcs..they also give out Saturday morning detentions..can't they even do this? Again, this would mean her ( and possibly 3 more of my children ) missing an out of school activity, that's paid for in advance, I suppose what I'm asking is did anybody else disagree with the schools contract? The after school detention is easily sorted if they could just text me or let her text me to tell me she will be 15 mins late and I could do the other pick ups first, but the Saturday morning detentions just won't be happening...can they withdraw her place if I don't agree? Confused

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leccybill · 27/07/2016 21:15

Maybe time for a chat about how secondary will be vastly different to her old primary, which sounds extremely relaxed, and how she maybe needs to screw her head on.

Agree about the faffing- I get mine to pack away 5 mins before the bell but some are still re-organising their bag, looking for jackets on the coat and congregating outside the toilets way after the bell.

leccybill · 27/07/2016 21:16

*floor, not coat

Wolfiefan · 27/07/2016 21:17

Hoping the school will be flexible with detentions. Um no. How about explaining to your child that they need to follow school rules?! Confused

sunnydayinmay · 27/07/2016 21:21

You'll start thinking that she can't walk on her own, then within a months she'll be texting to say she's stopping to do an extra club at school, or homework in the library, and going back via café Nero with her new best friends. Grin

GinandJag · 27/07/2016 21:23

IME, the most effective detentions are the ones that inconvenience the parents.

clary · 27/07/2016 21:41

I'm sure the Saturday morning detentions will be a rare event. What teacher wants to go into school on a Saturday??

But yes, as others have said, agreement or no the school can give up to an hour's afterschool detention with no warning to you. Many schools (eg mine) do warn tho, maybe by text or email.

YY prepare her for a very different ethos at secondary... and I agree with noble, don't pick her up (unless there is some SEN-related reason such as not being safe crossing roads) - all yr 7 children I know that can walk or cycle home do it by themselves. Only children driven to school ie coming from several miles away get picked up.

clary · 27/07/2016 21:46

Sorry hadn't read thread properly... if you are walking distance away why don't you want her to walk home? Or are you only picking her up on after-school activity days as you need to get there in a rush? in which case fair enough.

Agree with others tho, she is unlikely to be out on the dot. We finish at 3pm and the other day I needed to leave early at 3.15 - walked through school and there were loads of kids still dawdling about.

TaperJeanGirl · 27/07/2016 21:53

She won't be walking as we live in Hackney, a 13 year old was raped in a park last week on a day we had spent the day there, there's a nice little habit of machete fights and a few years ago a young teenage girl was shot in the throat standing in a chicken shop just minutes away from where we live, I could go on, she definitely won't be walking alone, that's not an issue as I'm going past her new school anyway, I just wanted to know if Saturday detentions ( oh and inset ones?) were normal, apparently so, thanks Smile

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BertrandRussell · 27/07/2016 22:00

So are you going to be picking her up from school until she's 18? Is she going to be allowed out with her friends ever?

Since when has Hackney been a war zone?

TaperJeanGirl · 27/07/2016 22:07

I never said its a war zone, I just said I'm choosing to not let her walk alone at 11, she doesn't have the street smarts yet to not walk along with her phone out, she wouldn't know what to do if 2 teenage boys started hacking at each other with machetes front of her ( which happened right in front of me last year) and it's pointless anyway as I'll be going right past her school gates at drop off and pick up

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SpinnakerInTheEther · 27/07/2016 22:13

Are they allowed mobile phones?

If so she could text if she has a detention and then wait in the school library afterwards until you can pick her up.

SpinnakerInTheEther · 27/07/2016 22:15

But I think perhaps you could talk to the school as there is no reason why they can't give a day's notice. Our's do. Maybe they should review their policy, especially with the crime in the area.

BertrandRussell · 27/07/2016 22:18

So no walking with her friends? No Saturday shopping trips?

TaperJeanGirl · 27/07/2016 22:19

They are allowed to take mobiles into school, but not allowed to switch them on Hmm if they're caught with them switched on they're taken and I have to go in to collect it, I think il speak to them and ask if they could text me or allow her to text me just to let me know, this would solve the problem.

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TaperJeanGirl · 27/07/2016 22:22

Bertandrussel, her friends would be walking home in the opposite direction to us, and she does go on shopping trips, with either myself and a group of her friends, or another parent and a group of friends, I don't think I'm particularly unusual in not wanting my 11 year old to go to Oxford street or Westfield Stratford alone....

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SpinnakerInTheEther · 27/07/2016 22:25

Even in the 80s our school had a pay phone so we could tell our parents if we missed the bus or something.

They might be allowed to use the phones with permission.

SpinnakerInTheEther · 27/07/2016 22:27

Or you could get her a tracker Wink

TaperJeanGirl · 27/07/2016 22:28

Child microchipping is the way forward Grin

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Smartiepants79 · 28/07/2016 08:52

Go and speak to them by all means but don't expect them to change any of their rules just to suit you.
Also don't bank on being able to get her out of Saturday detention just because you intervened.
it sounds to me like the catchment area of this school could have some quite challenging kids and families. I would then expect school to be very firm with their discipline procedures.

CodyKing · 28/07/2016 09:05

DD school does detentions two nights a week which parents receive a text about - never same day detentions - so this may be the way forward - sounds like the area needs a school with decent punishments !

Maybe just go in for clarification - she can have something out of her records -

DD walks 8 mins to school - she leaves at 3.15 lucky if she's out and home by 4 - they faff!!

Why not collect the 2 first and DD can wait by school for you?

noblegiraffe · 28/07/2016 09:26

If the school is like mine it will say if you can't agree to the home school contract you need to find a school with one you will agree to.

Same day detentions are thought to be more effective, the same way you wouldn't punish your child next Tuesday for something they did today.

meditrina · 28/07/2016 09:49

"If the school is like mine it will say if you can't agree to the home school contract you need to find a school with one you will agree to."

And when there is a provision in the Admissions Code that gives priority to agreeing with a particular contract, this could perhaps happen.

Also in inner London, only 65.6% of applicants were offered their first choice school. So expecting they'll be able to find one they like better with a space available is a bit like expecting them to find a unicorn.

noblegiraffe · 28/07/2016 09:52

And when there is a provision in the Admissions Code that gives priority to agreeing with a particular contract, this could perhaps happen.

Well not in this case, because legally a school doesn't need parental permission to give detentions so if the parent doesn't agree with them then they should find another school or accept they will be overruled on the matter.

EdithWeston · 28/07/2016 09:53

Whether 'inconvenience' to the wider family is justified do rather depends on what it is. Medical appointments etc, carefully scheduled weeks if not in advance, aren't just 'inconvenient' if missed. And the after school ecology of some families is very intertwined.

I am glad that out secondary gives detentions for the following day - so that if there is an important reason, it can be deferred.

Saturday detentions are thorny. You cannot force a child to miss a religious observance, and so it seems a bit odd to me that pupil X gets a Saturday detention but pupil Y doing the same thing cannot be sanctioned like that.

meditrina · 28/07/2016 09:57

Not all schools have the same home/school contracts, and I intended to make a general point about how hollow the 'find another school' approach must ring in so many parts of the country.

Not all schools choose to give no-notice detentions or expect weekend attendances. But may still have a contract covering other expectations.

And in increasing parts of the country there are no alternative unicorns schools with vacancies at all, let alone ones which map to all ideologies.

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