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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off at ds's sports day allocation?

144 replies

basildonbond · 10/07/2015 18:55

Ds is in Y10 he has ASD, dyspraxia and low muscle tone. He is 6'3" with a 24" waist and his arms and legs look like twiglets - he has an air of fragility as if a gust of wind could carry him away.

His school has sports day next week and the children are allocated an event - they can't choose. Ds has been put down for the shot put. Yes, really ...

Dh thinks someone in the PE department is deliberately taking the piss and wants me to go in all guns blazing. I have no intention of letting ds be utterly humiliated so am going to keep him off school on Monday. WWYD?

OP posts:

FenellaFellorick · 10/07/2015 18:57

I'd ask them how come he was put down for that and see what they said.

PotteringAlong · 10/07/2015 18:57

Has he done the shot put at school? Maybe he was actually good at it and they're giving him a chance to succeed.

Sparklingbrook · 10/07/2015 18:58

Mmm. Seems a bit odd. Did they ask your DS what he would like to do or was it all random?

I don't blame you for keeping him off, no need to put him through that. All guns blazing though? Probably not but I would be tempted to explain why he wasn't going in.

Wittynewnameifonly · 10/07/2015 18:59

Unless he wants to do it I'd call him in sick. The potential humiliation is not worth it.

Sports day is the only day I have called my child in sick when I know they are not.

DS1 was 'sick' in yr7 then I made him go in yr8 on the promise that if it was as and as he imagined I would call him in sick every subsequent year. It was as bad as he imagined as he got allocated the triple jump and didn't even make the sand one time. Yr9 now and I wouldn't hesitate in calling him in sick, if humiliation is the likely outcome.

00100001 · 10/07/2015 19:01

Why would they just randomly allicqye sports??

Wittynewnameifonly · 10/07/2015 19:11

No idea why you would randomly allicqye sports .

In DS's school a class rep allocates everyone events, so their friends of course get the better ones...

Sparklingbrook · 10/07/2015 19:19

Just asked DS2 and he says they get to choose themselves what they want to do. He did football and handball.

ReallyTired · 10/07/2015 19:20

Honestly, I don't think your son should get out of something just because he is no good at it. Would you let him skip school to avoid a french test or anything else he doesn't like?

My son has severe flat feet and got allotted the 1500 metre race. He came last, but did not die.

Original poster

basildonbond · 10/07/2015 19:20

Ds is crap at all sports other than long distance running but the longest race at sports day is 800m

He's never even picked up a shot put so I very much doubt he's shown any previously undetected aptitude for it

I also don't think it's random - ds says they got told which event they were going to do and the other boy doing shot put is similarly sportingly challenged (and I suspect from having met him several times that he's on the NT/spectrum border)

We have had 'issues' with the PE dept - his teacher phoned me in Y7 to complain that he was taking too long to get changed and that his motor skills were very poor - well durr, tell me something I don't know ..,

OP posts:

insanityscatching · 10/07/2015 19:38

It seems a daft idea for the dc not to compete at what they are good at
Dd is also really slow at getting dressed (autism and the usual mix of extras). I told the school before she started she would need extra time to change but the TA helpfully wrote asking if I would get her to practise at home I helpfully wrote back that dd had been practising for the last eight years. I mentioned all the ways I had adapted her uniform to help her from changing buttons, adding velcro, colour coding etc.I then listed all her difficulties and the strategies written in her statement. I then told them that they needed to make reasonable adjustments and so they could allow her to go to school in her PE kit and do away with the need to change, they could alter the uniform to one which was more conducive to dd's needs or they could give her the extra time to change as had been agreed before she started the school I've never heard another word and dd gets the extra time as routine and even longer when she has new trousers/shoes etc.

LashesandLipstick · 10/07/2015 19:41

Call in sick. I was the awkward sports kid at school, same conditions as your son, and sports day was just a day for humiliation. Do something nice with him instead

I'd also complain afterwards, it's ridiculous that they'd do that.

FadedRed · 10/07/2015 19:41

Tell him to 'accidently' drop it on the PE teachers foot. I'd book him for an optician/dentist/anything appointment and have a nice day in town/anywhere but school.

Theas18 · 10/07/2015 19:42

They probably struggled with allocation. I assume he can't run well? At least shot put is a skill / technique thing not pure strength. Shots also come in different weights.

LashesandLipstick · 10/07/2015 19:43

ReallyTired no but you don't do a French test in front of an audience with prizes for the best and mocking those who come last.

Wittynewnameifonly · 10/07/2015 19:48

Exactly lashes

youarekiddingme · 10/07/2015 19:53

My ds 'helped' organise at his yr 6 sports day today. Having ASD he was like a pig in shit

I don't think it's fair at all to introduce a competitive event for any pupil when they've not had previous experience of it. It does smack of the 'extra event' for those who've not made the grade to compete elsewhere.
It's hard enough when you never disabilities without adding barriers.

I'd keep him home.

Clavinova · 10/07/2015 20:14

Field events are usually tucked away in a corner - hardly anyone will be watching and throwing a shot put is over in seconds; your ds can be involved without humiliation. Coming last in a track event with the whole school watching is far worse imo.

00100001 · 10/07/2015 20:28

Just get him to throw the shot.... why not be part of the team? His points for entering the event will help tot he overall score.

He's not going to be humiliated. He;ll spend most of the time sitting around anyway.

00100001 · 10/07/2015 20:31

" Coming last in a track event with the whole school watching is far worse imo." depends on the school!

Our school the last person got the biggest cheers! it was a great example of perseverance and sportsman ship for the runner (what, we shouldn't try if we're not going to win? maybe your own 'win' is making it round the 1500m?) and team work and support for the others. Kids were running along sisde the last runner encouraging the all the way "you can make it! come on! not far now!" etc etc etc :)

00100001 · 10/07/2015 20:32

the one kid was elated when he finished his 800m with the encouragement of pretty much the whole school

Sparklingbrook · 10/07/2015 20:38

I think just keep him off, unless you can get the PE teacher to see sense.

Aquilla · 10/07/2015 20:40

What on earth is all this talk of sports allocation? I've never heard of this but I'm foreign. How silly to not be able to choose for your strengths (or lack of!). In my day all the rubbish PE people like me chose three 'easy ' events which was widely agreed to be shot put, discus and javelin.
I really do despair of PE in state schools here...

Clavinova · 10/07/2015 20:58

Of course the last person in a race always gets the biggest cheer but the op is worried about her ds being humiliated - in that case she wouldn't want him to be the last child in a track event.
Honestly though - who bothers to watch the shot put unless their own child is in the event? I will happily watch other peoples' children running round a track and jumping over hurdles etc; at least there's some excitement in that - but shot put, on the far side of the field - the op is worrying about nothing.

Sparklingbrook · 10/07/2015 21:03

When DS2 was at first school when he was in a sports day race as soon as the winner passed the line he just stopped and walked back to his seat.

Original poster

basildonbond · 10/07/2015 21:23

001001001 (sorry probably got the wrong digits there ..) that's exactly what uber-sporty dd does to encourage her friends and it's the kind of thing that would make ds2 die inside - it's also a way of everyone else making themselves feel so good about how wonderfully encouraging and inclusive they are, while underlining their own sporting superiority

he's actually not a bad long-distance runner (mainly as his power to weight ratio is ok i.e. not much power but even less weight ..) but as they don't do long-distance events there's nothing in which he can show that he isn't a complete physical dud

Yes I know there'll be very little interest in the field crap events but it's just the ludicrous nature of the event he's been told to do, given his physical characteristics - there's a reason why most shotputters are built like brick shithouses - and it's hard not to see it as the PE dept having an unpleasant joke at his expense

And to all the people who say would I let him get away with not doing something just because he's no good at it ... well, every single sodding day is a struggle - he has to navigate a huge, noisy environment full of alien beings with whom he has nothing in common, he already puts up with ridicule and disdain from the 'cool kids' and I'm buggered if he has to put up with any more than he has to

OP posts:

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