I think DDs school want her out

[lucydaniels4658]

DD 14 attends an academy school. She is achieving very low grades 3c-4a . She has ADHD and dyslexia . In the last few months they seem to be targeting DD . DD is no angel but she has never bullied anyone sworn smoked etc . Her crime not concentrating and being a bit disruptive (chatty ). Previous schools have dealt with it well simply by refocussing her . They tell her she is going to be permanently excluded then wonder why she has become more defiant and off with them .I know there are students much more challenging but achieve higher grades and they don't get harassed. They call me many times a day over things like her shirt was untucked ,she had gum really trivial minor things that don't warrant the sanctions and calls home.Where as some classmates truant and swear and nothing.Even her classmates ask teacher why they only tell DD off . When i complain they more or less say im the problem and they are trying to "correct her behaviour" and i make it difficult. Sadly moving her isn't an option in the area i'm in. I'm so desperate i'm considering homeschooling but she'd hate it she is very sociable . I have made official complaint and outcome was they are doing their job i'm preventing them. What would you do?!!

Firstly, don't focus on the other children. You're not there and have no idea how other children are being dealt with. It is unlikely there is whole school led conspiracy to get rid of her so instead put your energies into a plan. Ask for her yo be on report. - not for poor behaviour but to get a picture of how she is across the day. You're not looking for perfection but it might help to put things into perspective. - she might have had a dodgy 5 minutes but rest of the day was great.
Don't under estimate the effect of low level behaviour on the whole class and their learning. Why is her shirt not tucked in and she's chewing gum? These are easily sortable and take no effort.

If you are being called several times a day that's not good. Ask for a meeting and bring someone with you. Get clear targets for her that she understands and can work on.

Also make sure senco is at the meeting

OK, if your DD was in my class (I assume she is Y9) this is what would be happening. I would be looking at her target grades and seeing that she needs to work hard this year to improve them. I would be looking at her behaviour for learning (chatty, disruptive) and focusing on that as a barrier to her achieving the grades that she will need to do well at GCSE level. And I would be trying to work with you to effect improvements in her behaviour and consequently her achievements. Because I have her best interests at heart, not because I am trying to get at her.
Instead of this, you sound like you have set your back up and are excusing her behaviour rather than attempting to help her amend it. If she is breaking school rules then she is breaking school rules. Your opinion about what other pupils may or may not be allowed to get away with is irrelevant. If you want the best for your DD you should be working with the school and that means encouraging her to conform, behave and work hard in class. Why are you finding this so hard to accept?

Don't defend low-level disruptive behaviour, it is the bane of teachers' lives and stops not only your DD but other children from learning.

There are a few issues here:
Your DD is getting low grades (underachieving?)
Your DD is disrupting lessons
Your DD is breaking school rules
Your DD is becoming increasingly defiant.

Forget what other children may or may not be doing, you have no idea what is going on behind the scenes there. Focus on your DD. Her behaviour is an issue and at the moment you are undermining the school by supporting her in her poor behaviour over the school and their attempts to correct it. You are not doing her any favours as her important GCSE years approach.

On the other hand, if you want a school where your DD can chew gum, mess about, defy teachers and not work hard without any comeback, then homeschooling is probably your only option. Pissing about and getting poor grades doesn't lead to good college options though.

I am well aware she is disruptive sometimes but calling her "stupid" and threatening her with exclusion every 5 minutes is apalling. I am a teacher so i know how annoying low level behaviour can be and expect it to be corrected . However she is so anxious she cries daily getting her into school .When she is having a good day she is not praised and the behaviour plan is not followed the reward parts ignored if a positive day just punished punished punished and ridiculed they say she never contributes to discussions i encouraged her to so she had a fundraising idea the class teacher said it was a rubbish idea and told the class to put their hand up if they thought it was a rubbish idea then said "see" . This is just one small example .

If they are threatening exclusion every 5 minutes, then her disruptive behaviour must be much more frequent than you think/know/say. It must be almost constant on some days.

Sounds like the school is failing your dd , if I was in you position ( and yes I do have 2 dd's with needs similar to your dd's ), I would be looking at finding a more suitable school. There are rules on excluding a child and to me it sounds like they have no real grounds to exclude her.

They should be supplying her with more support ( TA/1:1) and they should be helping her not putting her down by calling her 'stupid' and threatening exclusion.

Thank you marne . I am not here for criticism i am aware as i said DD is no angel but not concentrating is not a huge crime. SENCO has put nothing in place no IEP or support at previous schools this has been done no issues. I have told them she needs a timetable in lessons of whats expected and hand outs to refer to this has never been done she needs this so if her concentration does slip she still knows what to do now she says"what am i doing" they say get out you should have been listening . They say she is in the bottom groups they don't have time to differentiate work for all the bottom set.They threaten exclusion but have said shes no where near exclusion its a scare tactic . Well that just keeps backfiring.

Would you consider home edding her for her GCSEs?

I am considering it but i can't afford to not work . No one else will pay the mortgage. So difficult ??.

And actually i do support the school in discipline . I sanction and ground her if her behaviour is bad but for the last time punishing a child with SEN for not concentrating all the time is not on if they do NOTHING to help. If shes being disruptive fine i sanction .

not concentrating is not a huge crime. But she's getting 3c's... At 14.
Unless she has learning difficulties; "not concentrating" could be a very large part of the problem. You're a teacher, you say?

She has LD ?! Dyslexia and ADHD with in her ADHD developmental delay! I am aware of what a concern her levels are . Her behaviour and attainment in sports and more hands on lessons is very good.

Sorry, Lucy, missed that. Is she eligible for any help?

Sounds like she is being a pain in school and you know it.

If you are a teacher then you will know just how much time is needed to plan and deliver lessons. If I have a bottom set and each child needs a timetable to focus learning, a report on their learning and a variety of other things to differentiate it often takes more than an hour to prepare a one hour lesson. Add this to teaching 20 hours per week and I'm already spending over 40hours planning. This is why they don't have time, they really don't.

Your dd needs to behave. That is the crux of this. All the differentiation in the world isn't going to fix the fact that she isn't completing work when asked and thinks it's ok to mess and not concentrate.

She needs consistency from you. Each time school ring and she has done something wrong then she is punished. Picking and choosing what to punish her for doesn't help either.

I think you should be trying to encourage your DD to behave better in school and concentrate more on her lessons. If they are calling you many times a day this seems very strange indeed. Are you in the UK?

She used to receive 15 hours 1-1 in previous schools.
I can understand how frustrating it is yes. As i said i am well aware she is no angel and I will punish bad behaviour. It is NOT ok to call an underachieving student with additional needs and very low self esteem "stupid" "a pain" "idiotic" "you must know your not a baby or are you" . If you think that's acceptable i'm worried ! Then complain she won't speak up when she does she is ridiculed .

Yes i am in London . It is very difficult there have been a few instances of bad behaviour which i fully support sanction's imposed but most of the time its very minor trivial issues which they could sanction without calling me to rant .The school takes on many NQTs and i am in no way being ageist but in meeting i've attended it's like watching two teenagers argue. They roll eyes,wave fingers and flounce and when DD cried they said they were "glad" as at least she cared.

Why has she been in so many schools?

Your story is now different to the one in the OP. Of course it is not acceptable for a school to call your child stupid. It is acceptable to tell your child off for chewing gum or not having their shirt tucked in. Why did you mention that and not the calling her stupid in your OP?
Perhaps you should ask MN to pull this thread and repost in clearer terms your actual issues.

Do teachers really talk to children this way this days?

Stupid?
Rubbish idea?
Idiotic?
A pain?
Constant threats of exclusion?

Are these things you have witnessed OP or is this what your DD is telling you they have said?

I am not saying she is lying but they sound like childish things for a teacher to say.

Shes been to three schools including the one she attends . Not loads?! Things change i previously fully supported the school some issues i can't put on here due to the nature of the incidents have made me question the school. Further investigation has left me in this situation . I came here for advice after a very difficult start to term not to be treated as if i'm under suspicion . She is difficult at times i have never denied that but this negative spiral is just getting seriously out of hand .

These comments aren't from all teachers. Just two who admitted saying it as they "lost their temper" .