I think DDs school want her out

[lucydaniels4658]

DD 14 attends an academy school. She is achieving very low grades 3c-4a . She has ADHD and dyslexia . In the last few months they seem to be targeting DD . DD is no angel but she has never bullied anyone sworn smoked etc . Her crime not concentrating and being a bit disruptive (chatty ). Previous schools have dealt with it well simply by refocussing her . They tell her she is going to be permanently excluded then wonder why she has become more defiant and off with them .I know there are students much more challenging but achieve higher grades and they don't get harassed. They call me many times a day over things like her shirt was untucked ,she had gum really trivial minor things that don't warrant the sanctions and calls home.Where as some classmates truant and swear and nothing.Even her classmates ask teacher why they only tell DD off . When i complain they more or less say im the problem and they are trying to "correct her behaviour" and i make it difficult. Sadly moving her isn't an option in the area i'm in. I'm so desperate i'm considering homeschooling but she'd hate it she is very sociable . I have made official complaint and outcome was they are doing their job i'm preventing them. What would you do?!!

How is her ADHD being treated? Is she getting medication?
It is an imbalance in the brain, she will be unable to concentrate without some sort of help. No sanctions in the world will stop her brain from wondering off if she has adhd. She needs proper support.

If she has been diagnosed with ADHD what are the school doing about putting in support for this?

I think some posters do not grasp what it means for a child with ADHD - by it's very name it is a social and behavioural condition and needs careful managing. So to talk of her being disruptive and of her low level aggravating behaviour is all very well but there needs to be consideration for her learning difficulties.

School is hard for children with SN. So the posters commenting with no knowledge of these conditions should maybe educate themselves first before going any further.

Op - I would arrange a meeting with the school and talk to them about a clear behavioural plan. Involve the governors if need be.

In fairness, noble she did mention the dyslexia and ADHD in her first post which should have triggered one or two posters to think it might not be quite so simple as telling her to concentrate and behave. And several posters continued to say that even after she mentioned the stupid comment in her second post.

Ok. So how did they lose their temper and where are the comments coming from?

I know teaching is tough sometimes and it must be incredibly frustrating but experienced teachers do not lose their temper with children.

Didn't HQ run a campaign about SN?

Not working is it , judging by some of these remarks.

This is a child with special needs. Of COURSE she needs a bollocking for chewin gum etc but it really isn't as easy as that.

I think you'd be better off posting this in SN section. You'd get replies from posters who know what they're talking about ( which I don't claim to - I have a little boy with ADHD and dyslexia however and know it can be rather tough )

Rafa ADHD doesn't make it ok to chew gum or have your shirt untucked. An OP claiming that the school is making a big issue over minor infringements of the behaviour management policy is going to get very different responses to an OP having issues with teachers calling her DD stupid, losing their temper with her, behaving in a childish way and not supporting her with her SEN.

Thank you for those that understand .
As she had previously coped with interventions i hadn't felt the need to medicate but am currently awaiting an appointment with CAHMS (been waiting forever!) to discuss medication . I really am trying to support them but these comments squash DDs self esteem further and i won't have it. They admitted saying this and apolgised(these issues have been with three teachers the other 20 something don't make such comments). Reading recent reports it really struck me you could tell which teachers actually knew her and which others just disliked her. eg One teacher wrote DD had no enthusiasm and was the complete opposite of a keen independent student another teacher she gets on with said her low self esteem and poor literacy skills prevent her from making adequate progress but she tries to the best of her ability!

Teachers making a big issue over minor infringements of the behaviour management policy for a child with ADHD and LDs is not doing their best to support the child IMO. If she is struggling with particular rules or behaviours, then they should be looking at why she is strugging and trying to help come up with ways to support her better, NOT drag her down and stress her out more - which will only exacerbate the problems.

I'm not saying its ok to chew gum but it happens ! Doesn't require a meeting with head of dept being put on report after schools and calling me surely a lunchtime detention is adequate ! It was her first "chewing gum " issue for gods sake !!!One of the teachers she had issues with has left now her behaviour in that subject isn't an issue as she feels the new teacher "likes her " she feels hated and i'm not surprised .

Sorry OP. I wish I could help, but I live on the other side of the world.

However I just wanted to say I do believe you and I'm glad you support your child.

Then you need a serious meeting with the HT. It is never ok for a teacher to call a child any of the things you have stated. They are being unprofessional and not doing their job. I would make a serious complaint about them given they have admitted to saying these things.

lucydaniels if I can ask, why is she no longer receiving 15 hours 1:1?

Challenge the lack of an IEP. They are in breach of the SEN code of practice.

Is your DD statemented? School action plus?

They sound as though they are pursuing some kind of zero tolerance policy. I would start playing the same game.

I think some posters do not grasp what it means for a child with ADHD - by it's very name it is a social and behavioural condition and needs careful managing. So to talk of her being disruptive and of her low level aggravating behaviour is all very well but there needs to be consideration for her learning difficulties

This - absolutely.

My son has ADHD and I am completely aware of what a pain in the arse he can be for those who don't understand his condition. But it's a disability, folks, a developmental disorder which means his brain (and the OP's daughter's) doesn't work like typical people's. Concentrating and staying focused and NOT disrupting are incredibly difficult if not downright impossible, without real time on the spot guidance. Knowing how irritating your child's disability makes them doesn't change anything. This girl needs proper practical support in school, which was recognised at previous schools and is being ignored now. She will continue to be 'disruptive' to other pupils and annoyance to teachers unless they get off their arses and start being proactive with her.

OP is your daughter on medication? If not, it might be time to consider it - perhaps you might discuss it with her consultant. If not then maybe her dosage could do with some tweaking.

OP I have a ds with a very similar diagnosis except that he has ADD rather than ADHD.Its hard very hard you have my sympathies and frankly i am appalled by teachers on this thread making remarks like "make her concentrate" it shows the level of ignorance about these conditions that still exists .If only it were that easy.With these attitudes in schools it is no wonder that so many children with this type of diagnosis have self esteem problems

Even the shirt untucking is very common thing for a child with this kind of diagnosis, they struggles with social norms and remembering them or even realising why its an issue, not to mention the sensory issues involved with tight clothes .

The school should be putting support in place for her now , all these minor signs are in my experience the symptom of larger problems brewing especially with teenage hormones added into the mix , glad you are on the list for CAMHS assessment.I would be pushing for it to be hurried up, medication is worth a try.

we were lucky and got ds into a specialist school ,academically he has struggled, despite medication, however his self esteem is good , the school encouraged him and helped him to find way to excel whilst also looking at life skills

Thank you so much ! I am waiting for CAHMS appointment (loonnggggg process) to discuss medication . I have complained to HT before and wasn't happy with the response . I'm considering going to board of governors or LA . SENCO is useless .She never had 1-1 at current school but previous . She is school action plus but thats all changed now so its a minefield.

As an aside, I home educate my son (also has autism dual dx with ADHD) precisely because of unmet needs and ignorant attitudes at his schools which caused him so much harm. He has thrived in HE because his stress levels have been reduced - he can focus on learning and developing life skills which have equal importance to his academic studies, and the minor irritations of school life which cause so much anxiety in our children are no longer an issue. I know you said above that you have to work but if there's any way you can make it happen, do consider it. It is always worth looking at ALL the options, even if you decide to stay in the school system and fight for the right support for your daughter.

You could always start out by firing a warning shot. Send in a letter (keep a copy) to the school pointing out the problems they are saying she is presenting (behaviours, academically, and so on), and then ask how they plan on supporting her in these activities. Say in the letter that you expect to hear back from them within 10 days to get her IEP discussed and approved so they can support her appropriately. Send it by post, registered (?) so they have to sign that they've received it.

Then sit back and see what response that scares up.

In the meantime, continue to pursue other things - CAMHS, and so forth.

Always ALWAYS document everything. Letters (keep copies). Make copies of any paperwork they ask you to fill out (after you've filled it out, but before you turn it in obviously). And if you have a phone conversation regarding this in any way, put together a quick letter summarising the phonecall and send it (keep a copy).

paper trails are your friend.

Out to, I agree that there is ignorance out there.

Otoh try having 14 pupils with a combination of ADHD, ADD, ASD, in one room. Giving each one of them timely support and guidance is nigh on impossible. If you are looking for someone to blame try the government who are withdrawing funding for TAs and 1:1. As one person in a classroom there is only so much I can do.

I make allowances, I give pupils structure and support. I am patient and caring. I am also human.

It's certainly worth making them feel scrutinized while you consider your options. Maybe work your way though the complaints procedure? Or have you tried parent partnership? Just knowing someone besides the parents is watching can have a startling effect.

But Penelope its no good just saying "she needs to behave" you have to work out how to make this happen , just saying "behave" to a child with ADHD is not going to help.

I wish it would , and don't get me wrong I sympathise with your position but given that the child in question has a developmental disability caused by a chemical imbalance in her brain no amount of telling her to concentrate will make it happen. Its a bit like telling a child in a wheelchair to walk or a child who is deaf to hear , its not going to help and in fact will probably make things worse .

Thank you for your advice . I do document everything as they contradict themselves and try and communicate by email as i can't record the phone conversations. There are some good teachers there who really help so i always have such conflicting views .She tends to thrive with more hands on learning and struggle with the listening and following instructions which is why the visual timetable is so helpful as she can keep reffering it to remind herself what she's doing. Even at home she forgets what she's doing mid task which maybe frustrating and more work on their behalf but so effective.Even at home she'll say "i need to go and get my charger" get half way there and come down without it or shout"why am i up here" it really is relentless but so frustrating for her.

Those who are saying it's 'easy' to get her to stop chewing gum or tuck her shirt in have no idea how difficult it is for someone with ADHD to remember such things, even after hours, days or weeks of intensive work at home. ADHD memory is crap, there is little organisation or planning ability - every single thing takes masses of focus and concentration to achieve. Please, please stop expecting children with ADHD to think like you do. They don't, and nothing is going to change that.