Tearing my hair out over State boarding

[Teddingtonmum1]

As I'm a single mum with a demanding job , I have decided to look into state boarding preferably weekly if I can get my ds a place . Christs hospital is my number 1 choice due to the bursary and it's a great school ( my brother is an old blue so slightly biased ) am also looking at RAAs in Reigate and Gordon's in Woking got open days at both saturday and next thursday out of the 2 would prefer Gordon's as a fall back if we cant get into CH , but have been advised that I can claim tax credits towards the 'childcare ' bill .

Have quizzed Gordon's as to chances of getting in I live in teddington so the right side of London but they said it obviously depends on siblings etc .( no really fair if you only have one can see why there's sibling priority in primary but not at secondary as kids get themselves to school but those are the rules ) am a little hopeful to read someone got in last year from east London ? any thoughts about gordons ??? im just about tearing my hair out as need a boarding place otherwise my sond going to be forced to become a latch key kid which I don't want HELP !!!!

I understand your point basildonbond, however even if your local state school is decent/good you may still be wowed by what another school has to offer.

I don't like the fact my dc2 wants to go out and meet up with friends down the park, around the town/streets. I'm grateful that the weather is turning so she is more likely to invite them around rather than hanging about. I'm not sure what I would do/how I would feel if my dc were going to be home for 2-3 hours per evening and me not knowing what they're getting up to...

Meanwhile my eldest was off wall or rock climbing, clay pigeon shooting, fives, playing rugby, being in various bands, orchestras and choirs, army cadets, etc. etc.

random OPs local school is a highly sought after outstanding comp. 800 parents who made it first choice were disappointed last year. It has the green acres, new £30m building by the river, wide range of extra curricular, well above average results (actually better in top sets than Reeds, her preferred boarding option). It also has a lot of families where both parents work (partly so that they can afford to live in a suburb served by outstanding schools) and I can assure you, because we have such families living in our road, that the boys come home and get on with homework, chilling etc, hanging out with friends, just like my DDs did when they came home from school. Only difference being the brief grunt at me as they walked through the door.

If the OP had come on here asking advice about getting a free place at a private boarding school I am sure most would have understood. It is trying to make out her need for these charitable places is greater than that of others, dismissed as "dire" or "chavs" because she doesn't like "the local comp" and she doesn't want her son to be one of the many who manage quite happily until their parents get home in the evening. There are many many pupils whose need for the support and stability of these schools is greater.

But why can't your dd2 do those things? I have children in state schools and they do all the activities they want to. Some at school, some out of school.

curlew how do your dcs manage to do 'all the activities they want to'? Who takes them to all their after school activities?

Can't afford them, aren't available locally, working full time so can't ferry them everywhere - 3 dc at home so juggle them all doing something but neither their primary nor secondary school offer any sports straight after school - in fact nothing at primary and virtually nothing apart from homework club at secondary.

Friday i think the school in educating yorkshire got significantly better results than teddington. 86% compared to 74%. I actually watch educating yorkshire and think the school looks a million times better than my old comp in putney.

curlew this state offers the same as independent schools and those if us who are playing are just trying to prevent our darlings from mixing with the chavs has been done to death on MN. I had child in a high performing ofsead inspect and judged to be outstanding across the board academy with a fab new building acres of playing fields and beautifully behaved middle class children only .2% on FSM. The sort of place your average urban dweller dreams of sending their DC's too. I also have a child in one of the countries most famous and top performing independent academic boarding schools. I'm not be patronising here but until you actually have a child in one do you actually really fully grasp the difference. We have had DC's in independent ed since nursery and I thought I'd seen it all but I hadn't grasped how different it was going to be. IMO the top school are just in a different league and I'm not just talking about extra curricular activities it's the whole package.
No one can blame the OP for wanting this for her child and seeking advise about financial assistance maybe she presented her case badly and rubbed people up the wrong way but she like most of us is trying to find the best possible education for her DS.

happygardening exactly - there is just no comparison at all, hard to explain until you've been part of one and seen it with your own eyes.

"curlew this state offers the same as independent schools and those if us who are playing are just trying to prevent our darlings from mixing with the chavs has been done to death on MN"

Anybody who says that state schools can offer the same as independent schools is just plain stupid. However, so is anyone who says they should. Independent schools have much more money and can be as selective as they want. Of course they can offer fives and polo and amazing GCSE results. Because the parents are paying for them. They aren't free- they are just included in the fees. I pay for the activities my children do too. The difference is that I pay for them separately- not as part of fees.

The point is that with schools such as CH you only pay means tested fees... in some cases this means £0 and help with travel and clothing given to you.

Even got reduce private orthodontic work from their orthdontist! It was medically required work but wasn't available on the NHS at that time (is now)

I don't think CH is a private school in the usually accepted use of the term.

Full fees are still circa £25k per year and plenty of people pay them and the school recieves £25k per year per pupil - the foundation that pays the bursaries is completely seperate to the school - so what's the difference? All the pupils are highly able, have additional attributes such as excelling in music or drama, highly competitive to get in, high behaviour standards expected of them etc. etc. etc.

Other schools do offer generours bursaries, you just need to get a place at the school and get one.

It's very very unusual for a private school to offer bursaries that mean you pay nothing. CH does offer a few. I think because it actually takes its charitable status seriously.

But you make my point. If you're paying 25K then of course you get loads of extra curricular sand so on thrown in. If your child is at state school then if you can you pay for them separately. But they aren't free at either institution.

You're partly right curlew it is the £34000 pa school fees that provide much of what my DS's school offers that the state can't and which most parent couldnt offer either in reality. It's more than that it's the ethos, I'm not talking about actual teaching, exam results etc or polo fives or rackets it's something else.

I think clay pigeon shooting was an extra something like £50 for the term, music lessons are on a sliding scale according to bursary awarded. What it meant for my dd is that she got to do these things, I couldn't have ran her around to much stuff whilst I still had much younger dc - let alone afforded it.

The % at CH that get 0 bursary is still very small - most pupils get part bursary, certainly more get 100% than pay full fees, although that will probably change over the coming years as the foundation are suffering hugely with the low interest rates.

Still if my younger ones were able enough and suited to boarding and wanted to I would def want them to go. It wouldn't surprise me if the youngest does want to although she may decide she'd miss her sisters too much!

It's just different when you walk around - ALL the pupils are just so polite, well mannered, genuinely take an interest in you talking to them - none of this just having certain pupils show the parents around. They are so confident etc. etc. etc.

Yep. If you're selective you can do that.

What happens to everyone else, though?

curlew maybe you can find time to answer my question about who takes your dcs to all their activities?

They take themselves to some. Because I don't have to earn an extra £75000 a year to pay fees, I take them to others.

The thing is that schools that take their charitable status seriously do often do outreach to make sure their burseries are targeted at the children in most need. My DDs school, one of the top private schools in the country and just down the road from OP, as well as working with Teddington School to help it offer some of the same extracurricular opportunities as it is able to, actively goes into primary schools to help identify the brightest children who would most benefit from the opportunity, the most "dire" as OP would have it, and mentors them. A lot of our private schools have that aim to help the disadvantaged hardwired into their core values with their founding, like CH. I would be interested to know if CH and Reeds, and other Boarding Schools, similarly do their best to seek out the "dire".

So all their activities are after you finish work at what time?

Mine couldn't get themselves to their activities, non-existant public transport and way too far to walk - like 7 miles for some of them! Fortunately although we don't earn much I work locally and flexi time so can be home for 4.30pm when needed - dh picks up from primary but doesn't drive

Then you must be lucky and either have everything close at hand or are able to work hours that are short enough to be able to take them to activities after school. Some of us don't have either option available to us and have to make alternative arrangements.

Shooting absolutely they do - you have to list your reasons for why you want boarding, what your local area is like, what your local school are like etc. The whole ethos of CH is to create social mobility - so take the bright but dire and send them out in the world on a par with the advantaged.

Bisjo- do you pay school fees?