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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Tearing my hair out over State boarding

287 replies

Teddingtonmum1 · 03/10/2013 23:30

As I'm a single mum with a demanding job , I have decided to look into state boarding preferably weekly if I can get my ds a place . Christs hospital is my number 1 choice due to the bursary and it's a great school ( my brother is an old blue so slightly biased ) am also looking at RAAs in Reigate and Gordon's in Woking got open days at both saturday and next thursday out of the 2 would prefer Gordon's as a fall back if we cant get into CH , but have been advised that I can claim tax credits towards the 'childcare ' bill .

Have quizzed Gordon's as to chances of getting in I live in teddington so the right side of London but they said it obviously depends on siblings etc .( no really fair if you only have one can see why there's sibling priority in primary but not at secondary as kids get themselves to school but those are the rules ) am a little hopeful to read someone got in last year from east London ? any thoughts about gordons ??? im just about tearing my hair out as need a boarding place otherwise my sond going to be forced to become a latch key kid which I don't want HELP !!!!

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RandomMess · 23/10/2013 19:34

Yes it is emotional and I have no idea with CH if demand for places is going up or down with the economy! There are usually at least 6 applicants per place Shock hence first round just done on test results - no idea how they could do it any other way tbh.

Teddingtonmum1 · 23/10/2013 19:50

There was apparently approx 500 applications at CH. this year so we have a 1 in 4 chance as I think there 55/60 boys places but I have had no indication as to how much bursary I can realistically expect but doing the figures at £9,400 per term I would need at least 70% to be able to accept an offer. Reeds have already indicated that they would be looking at me finding 1/3 of £7500 per term .

What would be a killer is getting the place and not being able to take due to finance but we shall see.

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derektheladyhamster · 23/10/2013 21:10

That's much better odds than when my son took the test. 1000 took it then. Still, it's unlikely my ds2 got in, he's working at a level 4 in literacy Sad

Teddingtonmum1 · 23/10/2013 23:08

I always understood that CH doesn't cream off the top and looks for the more rounded child who can cope with boarding.
Had a bit of a blow as we live in the west's gift catchment but they no longer offer a discount ( apparently you could get 50 of your assessment if you live in reading or twickenham parishes but apparently that had ended ).

Will know on the 11th Nov if he has made It thru the first round ....

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difficultpickle · 23/10/2013 23:16

Here mentions the West bursary as if it is still available.

Teddingtonmum1 · 23/10/2013 23:27

I know I called admissions to enquire and apparently the discount stopped 2/3 years ago blinking typical

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difficultpickle · 23/10/2013 23:30

Their website was recently revamped so I'm not sure why they would have included it if it was no longer available. May be worth checking with admissions again (unless you spoke to the head of admissions, whom I'd assume would know).

Labro · 24/10/2013 07:51

CH go by academic assessment first and then wittle it down further by the suitability thing.
A lot of the presentations and legacies are now in name only rather than worth money and it could also be that they havealready allocated it to others higher up the school. Friend presents a child but only one at a time so won't for the next 5 years iyswim.

derektheladyhamster · 24/10/2013 16:40

Children are also assessed by need, many of the students are not of the highest calibre, but may have a disabled sibling, or live in inner London with poor housing or environment.

Teddingtonmum1 · 02/11/2013 20:58

Hi hamster lady am I right in thinking that your Dec is at ch ? Not sure think I've read another thread of yours on mn 's?

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Teddingtonmum1 · 02/11/2013 20:58

Blinking spell check Dc not December !!!

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RandomMess · 02/11/2013 21:01

Have you heard yet Ted about the first round or is it too soon?

derektheladyhamster · 03/11/2013 11:25

Yes, my eldest is in yr 9

Teddingtonmum1 · 05/11/2013 23:45

Did they settle quickly ? I'm guessing they must be loving it , not long now admissions panel meeting tomorrow decision by early next week .....
Reeds open day this weekend as well so it's all go .....

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derektheladyhamster · 06/11/2013 09:43

He is loving it. It is a very academic school though, my ds2, who has just sat the admissions for fairness's sake, is not particularly academic, so I don't think it is the school for him.

Teddingtonmum1 · 06/11/2013 18:02

Well not long now , will be patrolling the letterbox from Monday for the results , fingers crossed for January invitation. good luck to you too.

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Teddingtonmum1 · 13/11/2013 00:40

Still patrolling the letter box for news regarding ch first round of exams
Am totally frazzled got court with Disney dad next week who has told ds that mean mummy is not going to get away with sending him away and ds is going to come and live with him and new gf , which as the parent with sole custody is news to me am trying not to rise to any bait before court especially when daddy took ds out house hunting last weekend for a new home to play happy families in , im just waiting for him to come home with a puppy next. This is the same man who has never had his child for more than 10 days ever in his life and hasn't been up to the school in 2 years yet all of a sudden when he has someone to impress ( new gf) his is daddy of the year NOT .

Plus also got parental interview at reeds next month, if anyone has any tips or has been through one any help would be gratefully recieved!!

Help ..... !!!

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Labro · 13/11/2013 15:59

Sorry you haven't heard.
What is court case for?
Can I ask do you have an order stating that you have sole custody?
Be aware that judge won't want to listen to what you think his dad is doing wrong and may consign your feelings as 'historical' - just giving you a heads up as it can be difficult to deal with on the day. If he is applying for joint access then it will be seriously considered as its often used now where it hasn't been previously.
I've got a parent interview later in the year, so will be picking your brains lol

Teddingtonmum1 · 14/11/2013 12:21

The court case is the specific issue order so that the court will award me the right to make decisions regarding our sons schooling without having to consult my ex . So effectively relinquishing his rights over this issue.
This is my 4th time in court , so I am well versed as to how totally emotionally draining it is the last time I went home to bed and a vodka.
He was offered a chance to co parent he chose not to yet he feels that he can dictate that I can't send him to CH but he is offering no alternative !!!! It beggers belief especially all the hard work my DS been doing.

got reeds parents interview next month am crapping it I don't want to let him down and come over as a loony mother !!. but I fear its too late

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Teddingtonmum1 · 14/11/2013 12:26

yes I have sole custody and his father has access unless he gets brave and thinks his going to go for custody but the Judge won't entertain hearing about that at this hearing he'll have to file his own paperwork and bloody pay and his chance of full custody is slim to none he hasn't had his son for more than 10 days in a row EVER ....

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Labro · 14/11/2013 13:27

Thats true that it would have to be a seperate case.

Though all judges talk in terms of residence and access rather than custody, which was why I wondered if you have a residence order or whether it comes under 'voluntary residence' with your ex having a defined order for access. This is what I have as court followed the no order principle when deciding ds primary residence.

This may have a bearing on a specific issue, particularly with regard to school decisions and even more so when relating it to a full boarding school if your ex states in court that hes willing for your ds to stay at his house.

I wasn't thinking in terms of full custody, more that its becoming more usual for courts to think in terms of shared residence (this isn't custody or co parenting) where the childs residence is considered to be equal between both parents.

Its not that unusual for non resident parents not to have 'blocks' of time, what are your exes access times at the moment, mine has never seen ds for more than 5 days at one time as hes not allowed, but does have every other weekend. Make sure you have a clear plan as to how your exes access will continue as normally as possible if your ds does get into CH as the judge will definitely be looking for evidence that youaren't shutting the dad out of the childs life.

I digress, there will be many decisions depending on the outcome of the specific issue, stay calm, am sure if you've been to court 4 times (as have I) then the Reeds interview will go fine.

Any news from CH as yet?

Teddingtonmum1 · 14/11/2013 17:49

just got the letter he didn't make it , I'm planning to appeal I can't believe a child working at level 6 has not even been considered for the 2nd round am wondering if its to do with the bursary needed ? Or he messed it up on the day Am totally devastated is it worth appealing ?

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mary21 · 14/11/2013 18:24

Sorry to hear that. What about Halliford. Some from Teddington go there. They offer Bursaries and the boys we know there are on the train at 7.30 and don't get back till 7pm as there seems to be a lot of after school sport. Would fit around most working days

derektheladyhamster · 14/11/2013 18:37

CH admissions seem to be a law unto themselves. A child of an old blue didn't get get in even though he was working at a level 8 in maths a few years ago.

Teddingtonmum1 · 14/11/2013 18:51

will definitely appeal but am more worried that DS confidence will be totally knocked he has another exam for reeds in jan am now even more stressed arghhh

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